ScrappleFace: Bush Unveils 'No Nation Left Behind' Plan

When you concider the value of the UN in world affairs, the approach offered in this satire for a "No Nation Left Behind" model actually makes sense for this international debating club! -zzb

Bush Unveils 'No Nation Left Behind' Plan

(2004-12-01) -- Just a day after a United Nations commission released a 95-page report calling for the reorganization, and possible expansion, of the 15-member Security Council, U.S. President George Bush unveiled his own sweeping U.N.-reform proposal, which he called 'No Nation Left Behind.'

"My proposal," Mr. Bush said, "would meet the new challenges of the 21st century through accountability and options, based on shared values and results. It would end the soft-bigotry of low expectations which has hindered the work of the U.N. for decades."

"No nation should be forced to send its money to a petrified, cash-sucking monopoly that has consistently failed to meet its stated goals," said Mr. Bush. "My 'No Nation Left Behind' plan will introduce the accountability mechanism of free markets to the field of international relations. And it will give struggling nations a chance to advance when their values and behavior produce results that earn respect. Nations that fail to progress in developing liberty and justice for all, will be held back until they show measurable results. This effectively ends the current practice of boosting their self-esteem by granting oppressive regimes a seat on the Human Rights Commission, or allowing them to retain veto power on the Security Council."

Under the provisions of the Bush plan, a regimen of testing would determine whether membership in the U.N. provided "a net benefit" to each of the 191 member nations. If any nation "gives more than it gets" from its association with the U.N. it would be free to either reduce its contribution to match the benefit it receives or request a voucher that it could invest in a more effective international organization.

If no such organization exists, nations may band together based on shared values to form so-called "charter alliances" or "coalitions of the willing" to accomplish specific objectives. Virtual charter alliances could form also, via the internet, achieving better results with drastically lower spending on office space, fine dining, entertainment and parking tickets.

Privately, a senior administration official said the greatest feature of 'No Nation Left Behind' is that it eliminates the need to ask in every crisis, 'What would France do?' - Scott Ott

Thank you Scott !