Saddam's Farewell

ScrappleFace Responds to San Francisco Bay View .Com

It is not often that one finds a satirist and freelance writer who can eloquently articulate the problems facing modern journalism in the world of instant media communications and blogs. Scott Ott over at ScrappleFace, a first rate satirist in his own right had that opportunity this week (Response reprinted below). He was sent a letter of apology from the San Francisco Bay View media outlet which confused one of his satirical pieces with news fact then proceeded to ask Scott to write a letter of clarification pointing out his article was satire. (Instead of appologizing to their readership that they failed to check out their sources before publishing). This is just one more example, even in the not so main stream media, the thirst for the sensational preempting the checking of facts before publishing. Mistaking a satirical piece on Nancy Pelosi and simply cutting and pasting it as news without checking sources illustrates exactly what drives the majority of the media outlets today.

Here is a reprint of his letter of response. It is worth the read in our opinion as it illustrates very articulately the problems facing journalism distinguishing FACT from FICTION in today's world.

To: ScrappleFace Readers
Fr: Scott Ott, editor, ScrappleFace.com

In the four and a half years since ScrappleFace began, my little satirical stories have reached millions of people. Those who read them on the website, for the most part, understand the satirical context. However, thanks to the magic of clip-and-paste, many stories have been ripped from their context and distributed via email, listserv and forum, causing consternation and ill-will in some cases. Normally, the vast editorial staff at ScrappleFace when notified of such offenses, dutifully ignores them, preferring to let the work speak for itself. We simply continue to ply the trade of creating “fake but accurate” news that we learned in journalism school, and at the feet of Dan Rather and The New York Times.

However, today we received the note below from an apparently “real” editor, and felt moved to respond. The following, both the email we received and our response, is non-satirical. (That means it is not satire.)

On Dec 28, 2006, at 10:08 PM, SF Bay View wrote:

Dear Scott,

I hope the story you wrote, “One Year Later, Some Katrina Victims Still Slow to Respond“, is satire and is not based on comments actually made by Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. An excerpt from your story had been sent to me, and I forwarded it to this list, which is read by Katrina survivors and people who want to support them. I had thought the excerpt was authentic until just now, when I read the full story on your website and detected that the entire website is satire. I might not have been fooled (assuming the story IS satire) if I didn’t know Pelosi. But I do. I live in her district and know her as extremely cold and callous, often blaming the victim - just the way you portrayed her.

If your story is satire, please tell that to the people on this list. As you can see, your story has caused them immeasurable pain. Think for a moment how it would feel to be condemned by the Speaker of the House of Representatives, the person next in line to become president of the U.S. if something should happen to the president and vice president … and a woman at that! We all expect a woman to have some empathy or at least some compassion.

To me and to the readers of our newspaper, Katrina survivors are heroes. Just having survived the worst catastrophe ever to hit the U.S. is heroic. And the fact that they are members of this email listserve, where every day they reach out from their own pain and loss and give material help, resources, encouragement and love to others in desperate need, is heroic. I even read on this list the last words tapped out by a man who then died from the Katrina floodwaters that had poisoned his body.

After reading these messages, I hope and expect that you will be moved to use your writing talent and your very impressive and obviously well read website to generate great waves of help and support for Katrina survivors. The members of this listserve can no doubt give you suggestions and guidance about how you can be most effective. We need you to be a hero too!

Mary Ratcliff
San Francisco Bay View
editor@sfbayview.com
www.sfbayview.com (badly hacked but coming back - soon)

The following is the non-satirical response from ScrappleFace editor-in-chief Scott Ott:

Dear Mary Ratcliff,

First, here’s a link to a site that contains dozens of links that provide ways for people to help Katrina survivors. May all who read this visit and give.

...Part of an editor’s job is to check sources before “going to press.”...

Your email address indicates you are an editor of something. Part of an editor’s job is to check sources before “going to press.” You clipped and pasted a bit forwarded to you from a satire website and sent it out as if it were something that Rep. Nancy Pelosi said. Now, you have asked me to write to this group of people (on a listserv) who have endured some of the harsh realities of life, that I might somehow atone for the confusion you have caused.

I embrace the opportunity.

In the immediate aftermath of Katrina, journalists sought someone to blame. They, predictably, found President George Bush was the best scapegoat. But in lashing out, yet again, at their favorite source of all discontent, they missed a bigger target. If anyone “out there” is to be blamed, it is the large, remote, centralized federal government which has become a surrogate father to so many millions of Americans.

Over the decades, we have ceded power, authority and responsibility to the federal government far beyond anything envisioned or desired by our founders. As a result, instead relying on our own intelligence, resources and ability to work with others in our communities to solve problems, we have turned to Washington D.C..

This is not a matter of ‘blaming the victim’, because the victim has become so immersed in this twisted view of human life that he cannot see what has happened. The federal government’s dehumanizing effect has torn up neighborhoods, torn apart families and turned brave, capable people into compliant recipients of redistributed wealth.

...Journalists, by habit, prefer stories they can receive from the tip of a spoon held by an “expert” or official. They, too, have turned to big government and have become dependent upon her for their sustenance...

...What most Americans know of the situation in the hurricane zone is only what TV or other news sources tell them. Most of that information comes from “authorities” in the government...

The problem is that the morsels of that wealth never provide enough to do anything other than keep folks in a perpetual state of dependence upon the State. Even if those morsels became chunks big enough to choke a horse, the dependency would remain. The federal government has become not only the safety net, it is everything from the crib blanket to the casket lining.

The danger of centralized government control is not that it robs a few dollars from rich people and gives them to the poor. It’s not even that such a bureaucratic behemoth spawns the waste of billions of dollars. After all, it’s just money.

No, the threat of this system is that it strips a man of what makes him a man, and turns him away from his inner resources, or the inclination to partner with neighbors to solve problems. It humiliates him, blinds him and ultimately cripples him.

Of course, when a government-built levee bursts, and a government-subsidized house is immersed, the natural, reasonable reaction of the displaced person is to turn to the government; both to blame for the disaster and to petition for relief. Many of the homes that were destroyed belonged to middle- and upper-class citizens as well, and yet still somehow even some of those people turned toward Washington to vent anger and cry out for restoration.

Sadly, the story that rarely gets told are the daily acts of bravery, fortitude and cooperation in dozens of communities where people — often through the agency of local churches — have pulled together in reliance upon each other and in a shared dependence upon superintending grace. Work crews that report to no one in Washington have poured into the region to cart off debris and help lay the foundations for a better future. Against all odds, many of the washed-out residents have worked long hours, endured separation from family and almost-overwhelming hardship in order to rebuild what the waters ravaged. These people are beyond number, and below the media radar.

Journalists, by habit, prefer stories they can receive from the tip of a spoon held by an “expert” or official. They, too, have turned to big government and have become dependent upon her for their sustenance. What most Americans know of the situation in the hurricane zone is only what TV or other news sources tell them. Most of that information comes from “authorities” in the government. The reporters have told us that the real story is all about the government’s response. They have largely ignored the responsible activities of thousands of unseen hands restoring towns, parks, homes and lives.

Success stories are buried. Tragedy is blared from the housetops. It’s a self-reinforcing cycle that further deepens dependence upon the government, and further strips the dignity of the person.

The victims of Katrina are not really the victims of Katrina herself. The tragedy began long before the hurricane hit.

Natural disasters have always happened and always will. While, mercifully, they don’t occur every day in every place, they are common enough that we ought to have an expectation that bad things can and will happen. We need to cultivate the inner resources in ourselves, our children and our neighborhoods to cope with the inevitable. When we cede that power and responsibility to the federal government, we surrender a part of what makes us human and leave ourselves more vulnerable to the tempest.

...In other words, Walter Cronkite was exactly wrong to say ‘That’s the way it is.’ Journalists don’t report the truth about life. They are carnival barkers selling the unusual, the atypical, the freaks. And we continue to reward them for doing so.

The actual truth about life in our great Republic is quite different from the daily portrayals in the media.
...

Whether you believe in God or not, you have surely experienced how the human soul sings when we gather in chorus to accomplish a great purpose in the midst of tragedy. It’s as if we were designed to work together with our family, friends and neighbors. There is a blessing in it that exceeds the penalty of the curse.

When my own community was hit by flooding some years ago, people stepped off their porches, shouldered sandbags, delivered meals, took in the homeless, wielded shovels against the muck, and generally helped each other in the task of restoration. As awful as that flood was, I will always remember it fondly, not for the harm it did to us and to our property, but for the good it did in us and in our community.

Our state-run schools and spoon-fed media have conditioned us to look to government. They’ve also trained us to take offense at any expression of love that doesn’t result in government intervention and redistribution of taxpayer dollars. ‘Compassion’ has been redefined as ‘entitlement’ and thus stripped of its power and utility.

The devastating impact of this mindset is the apparent withering of the individual spirit and of community cooperation which have been the hallmarks of this great nation.

But all is not yet lost, and perhaps not so much is lost as we have been led to believe.

Since what we know about America flows mostly from the media, we can be certain that most of what we know is just plain wrong, or at least atypical. My old journalism professor used to say, ‘News is coups, earthquakes and three-legged chickens.’

In other words, Walter Cronkite was exactly wrong to say ‘That’s the way it is.’ Journalists don’t report the truth about life. They are carnival barkers selling the unusual, the atypical, the freaks. And we continue to reward them for doing so.

The actual truth about life in our great Republic is quite different from the daily portrayals in the media.

Everywhere in this God-blessed America covert radicals roam, committing seemingly-random acts of kindness — unmonitored, untallied, uncontrolled, unshackled from the federal government. It is, in effect, a shadow government that we have set up for ourselves to promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty.

This decentralized movement of men and women accomplishes most of the great work of charity, compassion and community building. Their individual efforts are a drop in the bucket compared to the ocean of government largess, but in the aggregate and ultimate their service far exceeds anything that government can deliver.

In fact, the vast majority of Americans behave as if the federal government did not exist in their day-to-day lives. This underground movement is entirely healthy and necessary for the maintenance of our Republic and for our pursuit of happiness.

We don’t have time to blame anyone for our misfortunes. We’re too busy working to overcome them. We don’t have faith in some distant bureaucrat, rather we turn to the resources that God has placed near at hand. We lean on our brothers. Many of us call on our Father in our time of need, and He sends our neighbors who love us more than we love ourselves. Later, we will turn to our helpers when they need us and repay the debt, only to learn that no debt existed because acts of compassion shower blessings on giver and receiver alike.

We find these local (and spiritual) solutions not only adequate, but invigorating and inspiring because it is only when we are pressed hard by life that we discover there is more life in us, among us and beyond us than we had imagined in carefree hours.

We decided to reprint BOTH letters in their entirety in the spirit of fairness and "equal time" to both parties. Scott clearly stated what we feel many of us believe about modern mainstream mass media journalism, its role in contributing to our global problems, and our true need to look much closer to home for support, leadership and guidance in times of tragedy (our editorial opinion as well). It is amazing that any "real" editor in the so called REAL WORLD OF JOURNALISM would simply lift a piece like that without checking the source from the publisher BEFORE printing it. Then ask the author to write an explanation to a listserver distribution no less to help absolve them of the responsibility they have to their readership!! Scott Ott... RIGHT ON BROTHER !!!

---

I personally have visited New Orleans and was appalled at the one sided nature of the media coverage. The media is indirectly hurting the area business -- French Quarter, Downtown Hotels, Restaurants, Tourism and indirectly ALL residents, directly impacted or not, due to the focus soley on the negative. John Edwards, although we suspect well intentioned in his photo op this past week, (I like to give the benefit of the doubt) aside from making his political points, we hope also said to folks... "Come visit! Bring your business to New Orleans and help rebuild the economy!" Instead the focus of the media coverage was/is slanted to the negative and most Americans and Non Americans are still left with only NEGATIVE images in their brains about the area in general. In fairness he did point out that MOST of the restoration has been done by community entities. As well is should be. There is nothing sinister about that? Why make it out so?

Yes... much still needs to be done to help victims and revitalize the city... but the combination of Media Distortion, Politicization and the over dependence on Big Centralized Government to solve every issue that befalls us just exacerbates the growing attitude of entitlement in America and the case for even larger big brother government spending, misuse of funds and more opportunities for corruption. NONE of us, or any creature, are entitled to even be alive on this planet!! We take our existence and place in this universe for granted. Nature reminds us from time to time that collective life itself on this planet is not a right or entitlement but instead a rare gift of cosmic circumstance and design given only for limited periods of time. We often seem to forget that given our collective human arrogance and naivety. -- ZZ Bachman / Editor

Tags: media, publishing, MSM, journalism, zz

Saddam's Path to the Gallows

No vestal virgins where he's going this weekend...

To the Iraqi Kurds that lost loved ones to mass graves, gassing and torture at the hands of the depraved Hussein regime, we can only hope this weekend brings some sense of closure and not another wave of death and destruction in a land that has now been given back to YOU the people at the expense of foreign blood. Given back by a handful of Western Nations that had the courage to act while your "moderate" Arab neighbors stood in the shadows, watched your suffering and did virtually nothing for years. Oh yes, give them special thanks this weekend and to the U.N. which prevented allied forces from finishing the job at then end of the 1st Gulf War after Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Allowing Saddam to laugh all the way back to Baghdad, and take out his vengeance on those that opposed him while the world looked on in horror and impotence.

Tags: world-news, sarcasm, politics, iraq, middle-east, zz

Saddam to be Hanged by Sunday

NBC: Saddam to be hanged by Sunday - Conflict in Iraq - MSNBC.com:

Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, sentenced to death for his role in 148 killings in 1982, will have his sentence carried out by Sunday, NBC News reported Thursday. According to a U.S. military officer who spoke on condition of anonymity, Saddam will be hanged before the start of the Eid religious holiday, which begins at sundown Saturday.

The hanging could take place as early as Friday, NBC’s Richard Engel reported.

The U.S. military received a formal request from the Iraqi government to transfer Saddam to Iraqi authorities, NBC reported on Thursday, which is one of the final steps required before his execution. His sentence, handed down last month, ordered that he be hanged within 30 days.

Batteries Not Included

Rechargable batteries have become almost as inexpensive as alkaline ones. Why use alkaline ones anymore? This article is a good one which makes a good business case for making the switch for technical and economic reasons. It also links to a supplier in Sunnyvale Calif. a top end manufacturer of rechargeable batteries. [Hat tip: clairechiang,net ]

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Edwards Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign

ScrappleFace »

(2006-12-28) — With just 23 months before the next presidential election, former Sen. John Edwards, D-NC, announced today that he would seek the Democrat nomination for president in 2008, 2012 and 2016, but refused to comment on his plans for 2020.

“Americans are looking for a candidate with experience running for president,” said an unnamed campaign spokesman. “In 2018, when John Edwards is 65, he’ll have spent 16 years seeking the office and have four campaigns under his belt. We think that will position him well for victory in 2020.”

While the candidate sought to deflect questions about his longterm plans, the anonymous source said Mr. Edwards would file papers with the Federal Election Commission next week forming a 2020 presidential exploratory committee.

The Edwards ‘08-12-16 campaign timed today’s announcement to coincide with this week’s death of former President Gerald Ford, “another great, and handsome, man who was never elected to the White House.”

In launching his campaign in front of a federally-funded trailer of a hurricane Katrina victim in New Orleans, Mr. Edwards recalled his 2004 stump speech in which he frequently said there are “two Americas.”

“Since 2004, I have learned a lot,” said Mr. Edwards. “I think history and geography have proved me right. If you look at the map, there are in fact two Americas — North America and South America.”

The former vice presidential candidate quoted the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, saying America must overcome racial and socioeconomic prejudices to unite as “one nation, underprivileged, indivisible, with subsidy and justice for all.” -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

No doubt John Kerry is much easier on the eyes than Hillary or Barack Hussein Obama... He may turn out to be the one Democratic candidate with the best shot at gathering the centrist vote and have a real shot at the White House in 2008! (As long as he can keep his distance from Kerry and Kennedy, that is!) He's sure to pick up at least the portion of the young female 18+ vote that think with parts of their anatomy other than their brains. We suppose there are worse leadership selection processes, take the last Presidential election for instance.

Tags: parody, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

Michelle Malkin on Fox: O'Reilly Factor

Michelle Malkin was found sitting in for Bill O'Reilly this evening on Fox News. What a pleasant surprise! Bill better watch those long vacation holidays... he may find himself on a longer vacation then he may have bargained for :)

I think you'll agree, Michelle is a whole lot nicer to look at! Sorry Bill, it just had to be said.

Iraq court says Saddam should hang within 30 days

Yahoo! News:

(BAGHDAD) (Reuters) - An Iraqi appeals court on Tuesday upheld
Saddam Hussein's death sentence for crimes against humanity and said he should hang within 30 days.

Human rights groups condemned his trial as seriously flawed and called on the government not to carry out the sentence, which comes amid raging violence between Saddam's fellow Sunni Arabs and majority Shi'ites.

The White House called the court's decision a "milestone" in replacing tyranny with rule of law.

Sunni Arab leaders reacted angrily to the ruling, saying it was politically motivated by Saddam's former enemies now in power in a U.S.-backed Shi'ite-led national unity government.

"The appeal court has approved the death sentence. They (the government) have the right to choose the date starting from tomorrow up to 30 days. After 30 days it will be an obligation to implement the sentence," the head of the Iraqi High Tribunal, Aref Abdul-Razzaq al-Shahin, told a news conference.

Tags: middle-east, iraq, politics, zz

Terrell Owens Lays Blame on Everyone

Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, Hamid Karzai, NASA & Samsung:

(DALLAS) Troubled, underperforming Dallas wide receiver Terrell Owens lashed out in a press conference at the Cowboys practice facility Tuesday, blaming a combination of teammates, world leaders, scientific organizations, and multinational electronics companies for his three-reception, 45-yard performance against Philadelphia Sunday. "I can't catch the ball if the quarterback can't pull the trigger on those passes, and he can't get the pass off if no one's blocking—and who can maintain concentration when [Afghan president] Hamid Karzai is criticizing [Pakistani leader Pervez] Musharraf for not doing enough to stop extremists in his country?" Owens said in response to reporters' questions regarding how he was feeling. "And now NASA says the shuttle came back from its last mission with damage to the protective foam? And I got to watch that news on a Samsung HP-S5053 that makes everything look all oversaturated. Is anyone out there besides me doing their damn job?" Bledsoe, the Cowboys' linemen, NASA, and the Samsung corporation have not commented on Owens' remarks, though Karzai took time yesterday to call Owens a "pass-dropping bitch asshole" on the floor of the United Nations. -- The Onion

Tags: sports, culture, satire, sarcasm, culture, zz

Pelosi: No Link Between Iraq and 9/11 Body Counts

ScrappleFace » :

(2006-12-26) — As news broke that the 2,974th member of the U.S. military had died in Iraq this week, pushing the U.S. death toll beyond the number who died in the 9/11 terror attacks, House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, rejected theories of a connection between the Iraq and 9/11 death tolls.

“It makes no sense to compare the body counts,” said Rep. Pelosi. “Saddam Hussein did not knock down the World Trade Center or hit the Pentagon. So, anyone who touts a link between what al Qaeda did on our soil in 2001 and what al Qaeda and other Islamic terrorists are doing now on Iraqi soil is a conspiracy theorist and fraud. There is no relevant connection.”

The lawmaker noted that “while U.S. troops are dying in Iraq because President George Bush has placed them in harm’s way for an ultimately meaningless and impossible cause, the 9/11 victims perished because of President Bush’s failure to reach out to radical Muslims, understand their grievances and find common ground during his first nine months in the White House.”

She encouraged all Americans to ignore the “body-count comparison stories” because, “as everyone knows, there’s no linkage between Iraq and 9/11 — other than they’re both Bush’s fault.”

Tags: sarcasm, satire, bush, politics, zz

Christmas Wish

Why clutter may be good for you

Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts.

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In Search of Authors and Editors!

Some of you have asked about cross posting your own satrical and sarcastic articles here on ZardozZ News & Satire. We have decided, at least for now, to instead set up an experimental sister site, The SpyGlass Chronicle, with an RSS feed on this site for that purpose. If you are interested, and would like to contribute articles, simply register at the Chronicle. Just leave a comment in a post expressing your interest and include your Blog/Site URL so we can review your writing. If accepted, you will be given access to a Wordpress panel to cross post your own blog snippets, posts, and commentary in all their sarcastic glory. To avoid spam we do ask you to register before providing us any information in the comment section!

The Spyglass Chronicle is an OpenWeb "community blog" which is RSS linked to this site, ZardozZ News and Satire. If you want to give your own blog more traffic and exposure you might consider becoming an author / editor and cross post your work! If you are interested, please leave a comment with a link to your current site on the SpyGlass Chronicle. We moderate all comments and we WILL get back to you either way. You can also simply leave us an eMail request at zardozz(at)gmail(dot)com.

Hazardous Cannoli

Airline travelers carrying aboard potential explosives -- holiday desserts containing more than 3 ounces of liquid -- are being encouraged by Homeland Security officials to find other means of transportation for the goodies.

"These items are permitted but may require further inspection. Keep in mind that many holiday foods like cake and pie have characteristics similar to liquids, gels and aerosols," listed one travel tip released yesterday by the Transportation Security Administration.

"If you are not sure if an item is a liquid, gel or aerosol it is best to pack the item in your checked bag or ship it to your destination in advance," says the travel guide.

Amy Kudwa, a spokeswoman for the TSA, will discuss the holiday travel checklist with reporters at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport today and demonstrate common holiday travel mistakes. -- [Hat Tip: C&F]

Tags: political-cartoons, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

V3 Arcade Flash Games for Your Blog

Looking to add Flash Games to your website? You can find a full collection of arcade flash games which have been tested, packaged and available for immediate digital download over at OpenWeb Downloads in their Emporium Downloads section. They have over 290+ games there included in three convenient zip bundled digital downloads. Here is an example.... Shooting Arcade . You can also play them in advance in their Arcade just register at the OpenWeb Portal.

Each of the zipped download packs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including their respective thumbnails (.gif) along with an instruction guide (in .pdf format) on how to configure them so your visitors can play the games right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above.

The games can be configured manually if you are using vBulletin. Everyone else, if you have access to an FTP server via your ISP, you can upload the files and link to them in a post or anywhere else on your site just like an image .gif or .jpg file! If your ISP doesn't allow server access, the games can be played stand alone on your PC or laptop!! Spice up your blog today !!

Tags: flash, flash-games, games, ZZ

ZardozZ News & Satire: Al Qaeda's Message to Democrats

ZardozZ News & Satire: Al Qaeda's Message to Democrats

Retro Christmas Clip Art

If you are interested in retro Christmas graphics for your site check out OpenWeb Downloads to access a selection of Clip Art by Andy Nortnik

Tags: entertainment, flash, flash-games, software, zz

Al Qaeda's Message to Democrats

Everybody wants the credit for the Democrats’ success in the mid-term elections: Al Qaeda Sends a Message to Democrats. (Hat tip: LGF )

Al Qaeda has sent a message to leaders of the Democratic party that credit for the defeat of congressional Republicans belongs to the terrorists.

In a portion of the tape from al Qaeda No. 2 man, Ayman al Zawahri, made available only today, Zawahri says he has two messages for American Democrats.

“The first is that you aren’t the ones who won the midterm elections, nor are the Republicans the ones who lost. Rather, the Mujahideen — the Muslim Ummah’s vanguard in Afghanistan and Iraq — are the ones who won, and the American forces and their Crusader allies are the ones who lost,” Zawahri said, according to a full transcript obtained by ABC News.

Zawahri calls on the Democrats to negotiate with him and Osama bin Laden, not others in the Islamic world who Zawahri says cannot help.

“And if you don’t refrain from the foolish American policy of backing Israel, occupying the lands of Islam and stealing the treasures of the Muslims, then await the same fate,” he said.

UPDATE at 12/22/06 3:17:34 pm:

The verdict from the Kos Kidz on this disquieting shout-out from one of the world’s most rabid terrorists: “The analysis is quite accurate.” (Hat tip: Killgore Trout.)

What I find remarkable is al-Zawahari’s insight into American politics. He understands the last election was about George Bush’s war. He understands that we are Americans first and that party affiliation is, where foreign policy is concerned, less relevant. He warns all Americans that we share the responsibility as a country for allowing George Bush to occupy Iraq, and ignore the plight of the Palestinians. The warnings are strong, and the analysis is quite accurate.

One can always count on the Daily Kos to give moral support to the poor helpless terrorists who have been victimized by the Great Satan. Note the quote above as reprinted from Little Green Footballs. It will be interesting to see how the newly elected Democratic Congress responds to this letter to Democrats.

Tags: world-news, terrorism, politics, middle-east, zz

Brain Is Not Wired for Consistency

Brain inconsistency is why you can't reliably repeat that perfect fastball or golf swing, says a Stanford University study. "The main reason you can't move the same way each time, such as swinging a golf club, is that your brain can't plan the swing the same way each time."

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Democrats Say Senator Johnson‘s Brain is Working Fine

WASHINGTON, DC — Senate Democrats said that Senator Johnson’s brain is working just fine, and that he will be able to vote when he returns to the Senate chamber in January. “Don’t be misled by that flat line on the monitor,” Harry Read told a reporter. “It just means he’s sleeping. There’s plenty of brain function left in his head...

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Al-Qaeda To Hold Jihad Atrocity Trials

Regarding double standards...

(WASHINGTON) — A day after eight U.S. Marines were charged in connection with the killing of 20 Iraqi civilians in Haditha last November, al Qaeda and Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr announced they would begin prosecuting their own fighters who “inadvertently cause civilian deaths” in a series of “jihadi atrocity trials.”

On the morning of November 19, 2005, Marines in a convoy responded to an ambush that killed a member of their unit by conducting a house-to-house search for enemy fighters, who often hide among women and children, and always dress as civilians. If convicted by a military tribunal of unpremeditated murder, four of the Marines charged could face life in prison.

In a joint statement, Mr. al-Sadr’s Mahdi Army and al-Qaeda in Iraq said, “If the Great Satan can bring its troops to justice for violating rules of engagement, then so can we. It’s against our rules and our religion to inadvertently kill innocent civilians in war time.”

“We will prosecute any suicide bomber who accidentally, rather than intentionally, kills civilians,” the statement said. “We have sent them to commit premeditated atrocity and massacre and we expect them to operate according to those rules of engagement.”

The terror groups acknowledged they may have to conduct some of the trials posthumously, “but if any of our martyrs are found guilty, we can always execute justice on their surviving relatives.”" -- as reported by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Who says all is fair in love and war? Main Stream Media is ripe with double standards regarding the ethics and the rules of engagement in this conflict of civilizations. The above satire by Scott points out the sheer insanity of attempting to engage in rational thought with an enemy who sees nothing immoral in the taking of innocent lives, even those supporting their own cause to further their evil political ends. The idea that a tribunal might exist in Al-Qaeda to prosecute acts of barbarity by their side in this conflict points out the utter absurdity and one sidedness of the "terrorist as victim" mentality in much of the main stream western media.

Tags: world-news, satire, sarcasm, politics, middle-east, al-qaeda, zz

Christmas Perspectives

Al-Zargawi Born Again Miracle

Shocking new video from Al-Zargawi... Re-confirming the power of the New Testament during this holiest of seasons. ROTFL

Courtesy of Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: humor, sarcasm, satire, middle-east, zz

Roe v. Wade Cited in Laura Bush Cancer Cover Up

(WASHINGTON) — First Lady Laura Bush, implicated in a scheme to cover-up news about surgery to remove a cancerous lesion from her shin, today cited the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling as legal precedent for her covert activities.

Mrs. Bush, under increasing pressure from reporters to explain why she didn’t hold a news conference to announce her impending medical procedure, said, “The Constitution, as interpreted in Roe v. Wade, guarantees a woman’s right to privacy regarding her own health.”

“It’s my body,” she added, “and I have the legal right to do with it as I please without notifying any authority.”

On a personal level, the First Lady said she had no regrets about removing and disposing of the squamous cell carcinoma.

“It was a parasitic bundle of cells,” said Mrs. Bush, “and allowing it to continue to grow would have interfered with my lifestyle.”" -- by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: sarcasm, satire, humor, bush, zz

Air America / NPR Merger Likely

(WASHINGTON) — House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, said today that one of the first acts of the new Democrat-majority Congress would be to rescue the bankrupt progressive radio network, Air America, and merge it with NPR.

Air America insiders told The New York Times that the network was “top-heavy with management, inept at selling ads, unwilling to make program compromises that veered from the liberal message and overstaffed with more than 100 employees when two dozen would have sufficed.”

“In other words,” Rep. Pelosi said, “Air America represents the heart and soul of our great Democrat strategy for transforming government. It’s a model that deserves, in fact requires, preservation by the taxpayers.”

The new, government-funded Air America would be merged with National Public Radio, operate as NP Air, and resolve any staff redundancies by creating additional positions with identical responsibilities.

Air America talk host Al Franken will retain his show on the network, Rep. Pelosi said, “unless he decides to return to his career as a comedian, run for the U.S. Senate, or both.”" -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Stranger than fiction? We think not. A merger of these two news outlets might actually create an entirely new form of news/entertainment. After all, isn't that what main stream media is all about? Entertainment?

Tags: satire, sarcasm, politics, zz

Most Dangerous Roads in the World (w/ Many Pictures)

The Russian Siberian Road to Yakutsk, Bolivia's "Road of Death", Russian-Georgian "Military" Mountain Roads, Tibet & Bangladesh Roads and the Most Dangerous Tourist Hiking Trail. A lot of pictures are included, which can almost make you dizzy. Hold on to your breakfast!!

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Tags: odd news, culture, zz

NJ Closer to Iranian Ideal

(TRENTON) — Democrat Gov. Jon S. Corzine today celebrated the New Jersey state legislature’s approval yesterday of a homosexual civil union bill which had been mandated by the state Supreme Court seven weeks ago.

“We rejoice to do the will of our wise, black-robed guardians,” said Gov. Corzine. “We have moved a step closer to true the progressive government enjoyed by our comrades in Iran, who also delight in complying with their Guardian Council.”

Democrats in the state House celebrated what one called “our eager obedience to the court’s mandate.”

“It’s so much easier to make laws when the court tells us what to write in advance,” said one unnamed Democrat, “It saves us months of wrestling with the issues, and we no longer have to discern the will of the ignorant masses. We just do what we’re told.”" -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Whistling Dixie

How good are your eyes?

Here is a link to a site that has a few interesting perception puzzles that we thought you all might find interesting. They ask... "Can you find the C? (Good exercise for the eyes!)"

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Wisemen Wearing Body Armor

Annan to Give Final Speech Again and Again

(2006-12-11) — Kofi Annan, just a day after delivering what was billed as his final speech before an American audience as U.N. Secretary-General, today gave what was billed as his “second final speech.”
“My first speech was like a Security Council resolution, recommending policy changes to one of our member states,” said Mr. Annan to an audience of well-wishers at the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock, Arkansas. “My remarks had all the impact and power of a U.N. resolution. So, today I will make my farewell speech again, recommending policy changes to one of our member states.”
Mr. Annan said he would continue to deliver his farewell speech periodically for 10 to 12 years, “or until something happens to make my suggestions irrelevant.”
John Bolton, the outgoing U.S. ambassador to the U.N., when told of Mr. Annan’s remarks, said simply, “What did Kofi mean by ‘until’?”" -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Joke of the Day: Dennis Kucinich Runs for President

Rep. Kucinich Kicks Off 2008 Campaign - World News - Playfuls.com - Business & World: "U.S. Rep. Dennis Kucinich, kicking off another campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination Tuesday, said he only decided to make the run last week.
At an appearance at Cleveland City Hall, Kucinich said that he was not lying when he told voters in his Ohio district in October that he did not plan a second presidential race, the Cleveland Plain Dealer reported. He said he was pushed into the race by the failure of other Democrats to really oppose the Iraq war.
'It's not credible to say you are opposed to the war but to keep funding it,' he said. "

Congressional Red Ryder

North Polonium - 210

Student Essay Backfires

Read a teacher's priceless comments on this "motivationally handicapped" high school student's essay! Turned in late no less! The link below pulls down the scanned essay complete with the teacher's margin comments. We suspect the student then submitted it himself to Digg just to see how the cyber world would grade it!! ROTFL.

Brad's Essay

Digg Original Link Here (403 Server Errors occuring on original link) Some of the comments on Digg are a riot.

Tags: sarcasm, culture, humor, sarcasm, zz

Original Photos Of Pearl Harbor Attack

This past week on Dec 7th we remembered the 65th aniversary of the "Day that would live in infamy - President Franklin D. Roosevelt (D) " - the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. The spark which catapulted the U.S. into war with Japan expanding the war in Europe into what would become known by historians as WW II.

The fellow who shared these photos received them from an old shipmate on the USS Quapaw ATF-110. Interesting as there may be others like them stored away in attics. They capture some of the most dramatic moments that day. You must see them for yourself to see how astonishing these photos are.

From the original article:
Never seen these before----must be somebody 's private pictures they saved all this time.

These pic's are so clear....very sad....but, good that we can see them......

THE FELLOW WHO SENT THESE RECEIVED THEM FROM AN OLD SHIPMATE ON THE USS QUAPAW

ATF-11O. INTERESTING AS HE'S NEVER SEEN THEM ANYWHERE ELSE.

I THINK THEY'RE SPECTACULAR.

PEARL HARBOR December 7th, 1941

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Tags: history, culture, zz

Cloaking Device from Octopus Skin?

'The molecules that make octopus skin so successful as a dynamic camouflage could provide materials scientists with a new way to make super-reflective materials. What's even more odd is just how reflective these proteins are - they reflect all wavelengths of light that hit at any angle."

Hanlon's team discovered that the bottom layer of octopus skin, made up of cells called leucophores, is composed of a translucent, colourless, reflecting protein. "Protein reflectors are very odd in the animal kingdom," says Hanlon, who is a zoologist.

What's even more odd is just how reflective these proteins are — they reflect all wavelengths of light that hit at any angle. "This is beautiful broadband reflection," Hanlon told the Materials Research Society at their meeting in Boston last month.


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Tags: science, technology, zz

Man gets hit by over 300+ Paintballs!

Man gets hit with over 300 paint balls. We believe that the after effects will be of no surprise! There are plenty of maniacs out there. This guy is running hard to catch up...

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Bush To Increase Troops in Baghdad

No laughing matter here and certainly not satire... Hard headed Bush believes sending in more troops into Baghdad will solve the problem of the stalemate in Iraq due mostly to an inept Iraqi government and national security force. Funny how Mr. Bush has cherry picked the Iraqi War Report to buttress his long standing stay the course at all costs mentality. One must ask, if increasing troops was the right thing to do, then why didn't he increase troops in Baghdad a year ago?? Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) has been screaming to do this for the past two years!! This guy doesn't seem to have a strategic thought in his head, assuming he has any rational thoughts at all. And if he does, there clearly not his own. It will remain to be seen if they are combat troops or supporting instructors and trainers.

(WASHINGTON, Dec 9) The Bush administration plans to send additional troops to Baghdad, contrary to the suggestion of a bipartisan panel which advised it to begin a gradual withdrawal by 2008, US media reported on Saturday.

But in his weekly radio address on Saturday, President George W. Bush promised to seriously consider every recommendation in the Iraq Study Group’s report submitted to him on Wednesday.

“My administration is reviewing the report, and we will seriously consider every recommendation,” said Mr Bush.

A front-page report in the Washington Post, however, gave a different perspective of the administration’s thinking. The report said that the administration was focusing on three main options in its search for a new strategy for Iraq, all three different from those recommended by the bipartisan commission.

Under the new strategy, Washington intends to send 15,000 to 30,000 additional troops to secure Baghdad and accelerate the training of Iraqi forces. The United States already has more than 140,000 troops in Iraq.

The second option is to redirect the US military away from the internal strife to focus mainly on hunting insurgents.

The third option requires Washington to refocus its efforts on consolidating its ties with the majority Shias and abandon its attempts to reach out to Sunni insurgents.

In its weekly radio address, President Bush also gave a new interpretation of the Iraq Study Group’s report. He said that, like him, the Iraq Study Group was against “a precipitous withdrawal” from Iraq. His interpretation differs greatly from that of the report’s authors who focused mainly on the need to disengage US troops from Iraq.

Mr Bush, however, believed that the group opposed an immediate withdrawal because it felt that “such a withdrawal would almost certainly produce greater sectarian violence and lead to a significant power vacuum.”

Mr Bush said the group also warned that if the US were to "leave and Iraq descends into chaos, the long-range consequences could eventually require the United States to return”.

The president recalled that the Pentagon, the State Department, and the National Security Council were finishing their own reviews of America’s strategy in Iraq and he wanted to hear `all advice’ before charting a new course.

Meanwhile, several Democratic leaders, who met Mr Bush on Friday, said they believe the president was not yet ready to accept a substantially different approach.

“Someone has to get the message to this man that there has to be significant changes,” said Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, the incoming Democratic majority leader. He said Mr Bush also indicated that he was not receptive to the study group report, which Mr Reid said was written by “Democrats and Republicans with wide-ranging experience”."

Tags: world-news, middle-east, politics, bush, iraq, zz