Poison Ivy Getting Meaner

Looks like global warming will do more than raise the tide and change weather patterns. Here is an unexpected consequence. Apparently the increases in CO2 levels in the atmosphere makes poison ivy more potent while increasing it's growth rate.

Poison Ivy Getting Meaner - Forbes.com: "TUESDAY, May 30 (HealthDay News) -- An annoying consequence of global warming could be a dramatic increase in the amount of poison ivy and its ability to cause allergic reactions, researchers report.

About 80 percent of people develop an allergic reaction to poison ivy that includes an itchy rash and blisters, caused by skin contact with the oily sap -- or resin -- of the plant. As the virulence of the plant increases due to global warming from increased atmospheric carbon dioxide, even more people will be susceptible, the researchers suggest.

'Under atmospheric carbon dioxide (C02) concentrations that the whole planet will reach by the middle of this century, poison ivy grows not only faster and bigger, but also more poisonous,' said study lead author Jacqueline E. Mohan, a post-doctoral scientist at the Ecosystems Center, Marine Biological Laboratory, at Woods Hole, Mass.

Only humans and some apes are allergic to poison ivy, Mohan noted. But with carbon dioxide levels increasing, Mohan suspects the plant's growth rate and virulence are already on the rise." More...

Memorial Day Never Forget

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Saddam & Bin Laden Concede Missteps in War

To provide you a satirical perspective on the Tony Blair / George Bush love fest yesterday, satirist Scott Ott braved the hills of Pakistan and the cold damp jail cells of Baghdad to bring us this joint newscast on the day after the British/US press conference.

(2006-05-26) — Riding the crest of high approval ratings, al Qaeda mastermind Usama Bin Laden and former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein today nevertheless acknowledged that they had made mistakes in prosecuting the war against the ‘war on terror’.

The confessions come a day after President George Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair made contrite statements at a joint news conference about their own wartime leadership.

Mr. Hussein said he regrets some of his “tough talk” in the past and the famous image of him brandishing a shotgun. He also admitted to having second thoughts about putting his political opponents through a meat grinder after torturing them.

Speaking in a subdued, almost chastened manner, the former Iraqi dictator said, “I learned some lessons about expressing myself maybe in a little more sophisticated manner.”

Mr. Bin Laden, in a newly-released audiotape, said that despite capturing the hearts and minds of American journalists, he’s concerned that his claim of responsibility for the 9/11 terror attacks might be viewed by some people as arrogance or bragging.

“I’m only partially responsible for the success of the martyrdom operation,” he said, “I should have directed more attention to the little people…or perhaps, more accurately, to the little pieces of people. As the saying goes, there is no ‘i’ in ‘team’.”

Still, both leaders said that despite their personal errors, they’re pleased with the progress of the war.

“When our jihadists confront U.S. soldiers, our men are usually killed,” said Mr. Bin Laden, “and when they attack civilian women and children, our suicide bombers (peace be upon them) are almost always killed. So, as you can see, the battle is going quite well.”" -- satirical report by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

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I don't blame them!

Israeli Advice on the Mexico Fence

[Hat tip: Little Green Footballs]
"As America begins to discuss building walls to stop illegal immigration, here’s some harsh but very pragmatic advice from an Israeli expert, at Ha’aretz: Israeli advice on the Mexico fence: be ruthless. (Hat tip: Jim.)

Money: It will probably cost more than you think. Why? Because that’s always the way it is with such projects. Americans, the Israeli says, tend to be very structured in their work, in a way that has many benefits but also some limitations. It means that they waste a lot of money on “process” and “management” and “studies” before they really act. They make no short-cuts, thus save no money. In the last issue of The National Journal, the Israeli fence is mentioned as the example to use when calculating the cost of such a fence (2000 mile fence = $6.4 billion dollars). The Israeli expert thinks the Americans will end up paying more.

Efficiency: It can work, the expert says - and other Israeli know-hows agree. Don’t buy the argument of liberal opponents who say “no fence can stop people from coming.” If done in a proper way, the fence can work. It can achieve whatever goal the U.S. wants it to, “100 percent, 90 percent, 80 percent prevention. Just make the right commitment and you?ll get results.”

Tactics: Don’t just rely on sophisticated machinery and equipment. You need people on the ground using the equipment to pursue the invaders. They need to react fast, they need intelligence, and they need to be tireless. It will only take a couple of months before the flow of immigrants will become much weaker.

Intelligence: Recruit people on the Mexican side to be your eyes and ears and to tell you what the smugglers are up to. Make sure you can communicate fast, and react even faster. Good intelligence can be the key factor for success.

Routine: The smugglers will be inventive and will look for ways around you. If you stick to some regulated routine, you’ll end up wasting your time and your money. Surprise them where they don’t expect you, make them understand that no place is safe, no route out of reach. “Don’t police them, fight them.”

Ruthlessness: Is it really important for the Americans? If it is, they should be prepared to show it. “Make the other side understand that this is no game - that life can be in danger,” says the expert. “I know this is the toughest advice of all, but short of doing it the Americans will end up pretending to stop illegal immigrants rather than really doing it. At the end of the day, it is very simple: America is more powerful than the smugglers - meaning, it can deter them from doing what they do.” But there’s one condition necessary to keep this preponderance of power working: “It should be as important for America to stop the illegal new comers as it is for them to come.”

Danger: You mean they have to shoot the smugglers? “No, they have to stop them. But if they run away they have to chase them, and if they resist they need to use force. Eventually, they’ll end up doing things you don’t want people to watch on television. I’m not sure if they have the resolve and the stomach to do it. Maybe it’s not as important for them as they claim it is.”

Voice your opinion. Do you think the U.S. has to stomach and courage to meet this threat head on or will we need to see another terrorist attack on our soil first??

Senate: Mexico Must be Consulted On Border Walls!

What gives here?? If this is true it is an outrage. The idea that we need to consult with another country to protect our own borders!!! Please. tell us it's not so!

Michelle Malkin: MEXICO GETS VETO POWER? "CONSULTATION" REQ'D: "MEXICO GETS VETO POWER? 'CONSULTATION' REQ'D
By Michelle Malkin · May 25, 2006 07:55 PM

Does the Senate immigration bill essentially give Mexico veto power over our border fences? Hearing this from several readers and sources. Reader Greg writes:

Senator Cornyn gave Lou Dobbs a statement saying the last-minute Amendment SA 41[8]8 says Mexico must be consulted before any fence is constructed.

From F/R thread:

I heard this on Sean Hannity's Fox Radio broadcast a short while ago and just now on 'Lou Dobbs Tonight' on CNN:

Arlen Specter, according to Congressman John Kyl of Arizona, slipped a provision into the Immigration Bill the Senate passed today requiring the U.S. to consult with Mexico BEFORE building a wall in any area along the border.

I'm checking into it. If anyone has more specific info, please send along. Update: It's Dem Sen. Chris Dodd's amendment included in Specter's manager's package that passed.

The Senate by Cboldt blog reports:

UPDATE @ 17:16 - Senator Specter notes that the managers package is ready for a vote, he says that it (the package) makes making sausage look good. Senator Kyl asks to speak for one minute on the managers amendment. He says it has been in busy negotiations, right up until now. Federal, state and local entities in the US would be required to consult with Mexican government before building a wall. I predict this amendment, S.Amdt.4188, will pass. Off to find the language that Senator Kyl referred to.

UPDATE @ 17:23 - Found it. Senator Dodd talked against a fence on May 18, and his S.Amdt.4089 contains the following language:

(b) CONSULTATION REQUIREMENT.--Consultations between United States and Mexican authorities at the federal, state, and local levels concerning the construction of additional fencing and related border security structures along the United States-Mexico border shall be undertaken prior to commen"

Senate Passes Immigration Bill Overhaul

"Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., and the Democratic leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, both sided with supporters, a reflection of the bipartisan backing for a bill that was months in the drafting and survived several near-death experiences. In all, 38 Democrats, 23 Republicans and one independent voted for the bill, while 32 Republicans opposed and four Democrats opposed it.

Conservative critics attacked the legislation to the end after trying unsuccessfully to pull it apart with amendments.

'This bill will not secure our borders,' said Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., one of the most persistent critics.

'This is amnesty,' added David Vitter, R-La., who tried last week to strip out provisions relating to citizenship.

Not so, said Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., chairman of the Judiciary Committee, in a rebuttal to weeks of debate. 'They have to pay a fine. They have to undergo a criminal background check. They have to pay back taxes, they have to learn English and they have to go to the back of the line,' he said, referring to illegal immigrants who would apply for citizenship."

"'They have to pay a fine. They have to undergo a criminal background check. They have to pay back taxes, they have to learn English and they have to go to the back of the line,' he said, referring to illegal immigrants who would apply for citizenship."

-- We'll see Sen Specter, we'll see. Somehow we suspect that the Senate bill encourage more employers to seek labor, removing low skilled jobs from our poor legal U.S. citizens who may be looking for work in order to get off of welfare in this country. We'll see... This doesn't have a chance of passing in the House right now and it doesn't say much about what will be done about illegals who choose NOT TO SIGN UP, pay the fines and taxes and get on the back of the line!!! I'm sure we will be getting more of the details very soon via our biased MSM.

Guilty Enron Duo Starts New Business

(2006-05-25) — Enron founder Kenneth Lay and former-CEO Jeff Skilling, found guilty today of a combined total of 25 fraud and conspiracy charges in the energy company’s collapse, announced that they would appeal the verdicts, and that they have launched a new joint-venture business.

The new firm, Penrun, will trade a financial instrument called convict futures, which fluctuate depending on the ratio of sentenced-time to time-served.

For example, while Mr. Lay and Mr. Skilling could be sentenced to 20-to-30 years, it’s unlikely that they’ll serve even half of that.

“So, there’s big upside potential for customers who sell short,” said Mr. Lay. “It’s the hottest ticket in America. I can sincerely say to anybody, ‘Sell your gold and buy convict futures’.”

The duo said they already have $75 million in “virtual capital” for the startup, with another $300 million “pretty much guaranteed if we get out before 2010.”

Mr. Skilling encouraged potential Penrun customers “to think outside of the box.”

“This is the best securities buy available today, bar none,” he said. “This is cutting edge stuff.”" --- Satirical reporting by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

[Hat tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace] As far as we are concerned. They should be starting their sentences NOW. The fact is the judge has decided to sentence on Sept 11th 2006. Was that to give them time to make sure their villas in whatever country does not have extradition treaties with us are completed? They have had years to figure out a plan to leave the country. Why are they not behind bars NOW ! Could it be their private fortunes have something to do with it?

Iran Cultivates New Crop of Suicide Bombers

Hickory Daily Record | AP News: "TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Under a banner showing coffins draped with American, British and Israeli flags, more than 100 Iranian men and women pledged Thursday to become suicide bombers - if necessary - to defend their country and Islam.

The event, held in a burial area for war dead and martyrs, was similar to others in recent years, with Islamic chants and songs and volunteers donning white coverings to symbolize their willingness to die.

But this gathering - coming at a time when many Iranians worry their country could come under attack by the United States or Israel - was tailored to send a message of defiance against any possible military action over Iran's nuclear program." More...

Bonds vs. Babe

President Bush Out of Touch?

(2006-05-24) — In another example of President George Bush’s isolation, and his administration’s ‘information lockdown’, the White House today refused comment on the nation’s three most significant news stories.

Despite repeated questions from professional journalists, White House spokesman Tony Snow said the president would make no comment about the fate of injured Kentucky Derby-winning horse, Barbaro, or about his favorite contestant on ‘American Idol‘, or whether ABC did the right thing by going with a single anchor for its evening newscast.

Several reporters complained that the president was ignoring what’s most important because he’s distracted by Iran’s long-range missile tests, China’s massive military buildup, U.S. border security and dozens of other issues “insignificant to most Americans.”

Veteran White House correspondent Helen Thomas said she “hasn’t seen a president so disconnected from the day-to-day lives of his constituents” since she covered the Coolidge administration." -- Satirical reporting by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Gateway Pundit: Iranian University Students Protest Against the Mullacracy

The forces of good need extended bases in Iraq in place as U.S. troops pull out later this year to help provide support to the rising discontent within Iran over the oppressive Islamo-facist society which is rolling over it's educated middle class. If the left thinks we can afford to pull out of the Middle East they are suffering from the same illusions during the 30's as the appeasers in Western Europe during the same period.

(TEHRAN)"Students at Tehran’s Amir Kabir University protested against the repressive mullacracy today and yesterday.

Tuesday's protest turned violent as reported in an earlier Iran Focus article:

During Tuesday’s protest, students threw stones at the university dean’s office, shattering several windows, after they were prevented from entering the campus by agents of Iran’s State Security Forces (SSF).

The demonstrators then forced their way through the guards into the building where they began chanting anti-government slogans.

In the Azeri region of Iran on Monday there were violent protests by the Azeri minority over an offensive cockroach cartoon.

State television reported that the Press Supervisory Body had closed the state-owned Iran, "due to its publication of divisive and provocative materials."

The closure was indefinite, the television reported. It was the first time a newspaper had been banned since President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad took office last year."

More...

[Hat Tip Gateway Pundit]
Gateway Pundit: Iranian University Students Protest Against the Mullacracy

Turning the Corner on Terrorism?

Can it be that we are turning the corner on terrorism? Jordan announced a capture yesterday and now the Israelis today! The job will never be fully accomplished until the Islamo-facist Iranian government that funds and sponsors islamic terrorism are themselved erradicated.

("RAMALLAH, West Bank) — The West Bank commander of the Hamas military wing surrendered to Israeli troops Tuesday after they surrounded his hideout and threatened to demolish it with him inside.

Ibrahim Hamed emerged from the building before dawn and troops told him over a loudspeaker to strip to his underwear, witnesses said. Hamed complied, was cuffed and taken to a nearby building. Army officials said Hamed was armed and alone at the time of his capture.

The army said Hamed, 41, masterminded attacks that killed 78 Israelis and wounded hundreds.

Hamed has been on Israel's wanted list since 1998, frequently evading capture. Hamed, a university graduate and influential leader, became the West Bank's commander of Izzedine al Qassam, the Hamas military wing, in December 2003."

Michelle Malkin: GOD - NO; ALLAH - YES

The 9th Circuit once again proves itself to be an outrage to the judicial system in the U.S. A double standard rules supreme at the 9th circuit when it comes to challanging traditional Christian values.

"Compare and contrast...

In Dallas, a school district strikes the words 'In God We Trust' from the photo of an enlarged nickel on a yearbook cover for fear of offending students of differing religions.

In California, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals (the one that outlawed the Pledge of Allegiance for its reference to God) approved putting public school students through Muslim role-playing exercises. Investor's Business Daily reminds us:

In a recent federal decision that got surprisingly little press, even from conservative talk radio, California's 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled it's OK to put public-school kids through Muslim role-playing exercises, including:

Reciting aloud Muslim prayers that begin with 'In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful . . . .'

Memorizing the Muslim profession of faith: 'Allah is the only true God and Muhammad is his messenger.'

Chanting 'Praise be to Allah' in response to teacher prompts.

Professing as 'true' the Muslim belief that 'The Holy Quran is God's word.'

Giving up candy and TV to demonstrate Ramadan, the Muslim holy month of fasting.

Designing prayer rugs, taking an Arabic name and essentially 'becoming a Muslim' for two full weeks.

Parents of seventh-graders, who after 9-11 were taught the pro-Islamic lessons as part of California's world history curriculum, sued under the First Amendment ban on religious establishment. They argued, reasonably, that the government was promoting Islam.

But a federal judge appointed by President Clinton told them in so many words to get over it, that the state was merely teaching kids about another 'culture.'

So the parents appealed. Unfortunately, the most left-wing court in the land got their case. The 9th Circuit, which previously ruled in favor of an atheist who filed suit against the words 'under God' in the Pledge of Allegiance, upheld the lower court ruling.
More...

-- Hat Tip Michelle Malkin

UN Calls on Al Qaeda to Open Detention Facility

(NEW YORK) — A day after releasing a report accusing the United States of torture, and demanding closure of its terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, the United Nations anti-torture panel called on Al Qaeda to “open a detention facility anywhere, hold prisoners for years without charges, and subject them to controversial interrogation techniques.”

“The U.S. is a super power that has violated the 1984 Convention Against Torture,” said U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, “But Al Qaeda is still is a developing power, so we must have different expectations and goals for Mr. Bin Laden.”

The panel’s report laid out a process designed to move al Qaeda in “baby steps” from its current practice of beheading and blowing up innocent civilians, to taking them prisoner and torturing them, to eventually running a clean, safe, modern prisoner-of-war camp in full compliance with the United Nations protocols.

Meanwhile, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said the Pentagon is considering a plan to transfer its 460 ‘Gitmo’ detainees to the U.N., “where a group of international thugs, still awaiting charges, would not attract so much attention.”" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tensions rise after Hamas aide caught with cash

GAZA (Reuters) - Rival Palestinian forces faced off at Gaza's border crossing with Egypt on Friday after border guards loyal to President Mahmoud Abbas caught a Hamas official trying to smuggle in 639,000 euros ($804,000), authorities said.

Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh vowed during Friday prayers not to disband a new Hamas-led security force and said he was prepared to increase its numbers in defiance of Abbas and President George W. Bush's U.S. administration.

About 100 Hamas gunmen raced to the Rafah crossing where Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri was caught with the money. Abbas's elite guard also called in reinforcements." More...

Ironically maybe the outcome of the recent election is the best that ever happened to Palestine. They are imploding spending much of their time figuring out ways of killing each other to maintain "power"and control over nothing more than a middle eastern ghetto. May Allah (that's God to the rest of us) be praised for his infinite wisdom.

Da Vinci Flick Makes Pope Admit Secret Code

(VATICAN) — ‘The Da Vinci Code‘ has finally forced Pope Benedict XVI to release a statement admitting that the Bible contains a “veiled mystery unknown to most of the world.”

Film critics this week publicly acknowledged the release of the Ron Howard movie, based on the best-selling Dan Brown novel that blurs the line between fiction and entertainment.

Under pressure from theologians in the news media, a Vatican spokesman today admitted that the Holy Scriptures contain a hidden code, known only to a relative handful of insiders.

“Even many faithful church attenders have not yet unlocked the secret,” said the unnamed Vatican source. “Although it lies in plain sight, to understand it you must have the ability to decode a sequence of ancient letters, arranged in phonetic patterns that follow a specific grammatical template.”

When asked how an outsider with no expertise in cryptology could break the code and comprehend the secret, the Pope’s spokesman said, “To reveal the mystery, first lift the cover of the Bible. Then carefully examine all the text on the first page. Slowly turn the page. Repeat the process until the mystery becomes plain.”" --- sarcastic reporting by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Chicken Little

Jordan Challanges Hamas

(AMMAN, Jordan) (AP) -- Jordan is playing hardball with the Palestinian militant movement Hamas, arresting its members and accusing it of plotting attacks inside the country.

Behind the crackdown is the fear in the kingdom, a close U.S. ally with a peace treaty with Israel, that it is threatened by a rising tide of radical Islam it sees originating from Iran and encompassing its Arab neighbors.

Jordan's King Abdullah II sounded the alarm in December 2004, when he accused Shiite Muslim, non-Arab Iran of seeking to create a 'crescent' of influence that includes Iraq, Syria and Lebanon.

'Jordan is a pariah in this circle of a new hard-line political alliance, which Iran has put together,' said Jordanian political analyst Labib Kamhawi.

'It's a serious threat to Jordan because the alliance, which is religious in its framework, opposes U.S. influence in the region and moderate Arab nations allied with America.'"More...

Seeking Middle Ground, Bush Moves Border

(Satire)(2006-05-13) — In an effort to find middle ground in the debate over illegal immigration, President George Bush followed last night’s nationally-televised speech with an announcement this morning that the U.S.-Mexican border would be moved up to Missouri.

Under the president’s plan, the new southern boundary of the United States roughly follows the path of Interstate 70, which in Missouri runs from Kansas City to St. Louis. The new line extends to the east through the middle of Washington D.C., and meets the Pacific coast just north of San Francisco.

An unnamed White House spokesman said the plan will relieve the pressure along the current 2,000 mile Mexican border by adding another thousand miles to it.

According to the source, “The president believes the new middle-ground border demonstrates that the United States can be a lawful society and a welcoming society at the same time.”

In an effort to calm conservative Republicans, the president also announced that the new boundary would be under constant satellite surveillance and that border patrol agents would receive enforcement assistance from a fleet of B-2 Stealth bombers out of Whiteman Air Force Base in Knob Noster, Missouri." -- Satirical reporting by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Somehow we suspect that the "new border" might actually have already found it's way just south of the Canadian border. Rumor has it that Fox and Bush are considering the annexation of Mexico as a 51st state. Mexifornia, as it will become known, might eventually work it's way down to Chile forming a massive AULAS. American Union of Latino American States. Canada would be excluded from the AULAS until it can figure a way to include Spanish alongside French and English in all of their public documents.

Congress to Scrap NSA, Create ‘Transparent’ Spy Agency

(Satire) — Concerned that the National Security Agency (NSA) may have violated the civil liberties of Americans by analyzing records of millions of phone calls to detect patterns that might indicate terrorist activity, a bipartisan coalition in Congress today will unveil legislation to scrap the NSA and replace it with a more ‘transparent’ spy agency.

According to language in the measure, the new intelligence unit, dubbed Open-Source Intelligence (OSI), will “harness the power of the internet to protect the right of the American people to know how their spy dollar is spent.”

“There’s nothing like sunshine to ensure accountability,” said an unnamed Congressional aide who spoke in exchange for a lobster dinner, a fine chianti and a $12 Macanudo cigar. “Just because the enemy is among us, using our telecommunications infrastructure to plot the next major attack, doesn’t mean the government can sneak around doing secret stuff simply to save a few thousand, or million, lives. We have rights.”

Under the terms of the bill, the OSI website will include a list of all covert agents, with photos, home addresses, email links and IM screennames. As the OSI gathers data, it will be accessible in real-time through the website to “premium subscribers,” but even non-members will be able to view the aggregated data, and listen to brief, sample clips of legally intercepted phone calls.”" -- Satricial Reporting by Scott Ott/ScrappleFace

Why do we want to make it so difficult for our government to catch the bad guys? The irony is that when disaster strikes some expect the government to come to our rescue. Then we ask, why didn't the government know and do something to prevent it? Don't you think there is a real double standard at play here?

Q. Are you willing to give up anything in order to protect the lives of perhaps thousands or even millions of people? If so what? Voice your opinion...

Happy Mother's Day

-- Randy Bish - Tribune Review

Bush Responds to Iranian President’s Letter

Scott reports on GWB's response to Mahmoud Ahmaninejad...

(Satire)— While the White House officially denies it, unnamed sources close to anonymous insiders at the State Department report they have seen the text of President George Bush’s response to an 18-page letter sent by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad earlier this week.

Mr. Ahmadinejad’s letter chided and rebuked the U.S. President for a litany of alleged misconduct, and sought to find common ground with the Christian Mr. Bush in a shared belief in monotheism. The Iranian leader largely side-stepped the issue of uranium enrichment, noting that all nations had a right to scientific and technological progress.

According to notes taken by those who saw it, here is President Bush’s response:

Dear Mahmoud,
Thanks for taking the time to write your thoughtful letter. I appreciate you educating me about history, geography, democracy, military strategy, geopolitics, science, technology and theology, since these weren’t my favorite subjects in school.

I’d appreciate it if you would read my letter on TV to your 68 million citizens to help us both forge a bond of peace, grounded in our shared monotheism.

In your 18-page letter, you asked me more than 63 questions.

The answer is ‘No’.

Now, let me ask you a few questions.

1) When you’re alone in a room by yourself, what do you all talk about?
2) How many moons can you see from your planet?
3) Roughly how long will it be before your mothership returns?

Take your time. Feel free to use the back of the paper to record your answers.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush, POTUS"
-- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

On a more serious note, Larua Mansfield makes this interesting point in the first link above... Sobering...

Islamic theology documents that no attack can be carried out in jihad without first offering the “unbelievers” the opportunity to “repent” and accept Islam. Only when that overture is rejected can an attack occur.

Al Qaeda has repeatedly issued warnings prior to attacks, although the warning are never specific enough for the West to recognize the exact target or timing of the attack. However, the warning is made.

The Qu’ran documents that Allah even is required to issue such warnings. The following three verses from the Qu’ran are representative of the many that do this.

Surah 50, ayat (verse) 14 of the Qu’ran says:

The Companions of the Wood, and the People of Tubba'; each one (of them) rejected the messengerss, and My warning was duly fulfilled (in them).

Surah 41, ayat (verse) 13 of the Qu’ran says:

If they turn away, then say, "I am warning you of a disaster like the disaster that annihilated `Aad and Thamoud."

Surah 41, ayat (verse) 17 of the Qu’ran says:

As for Thamoud, we provided them with guidance, but they preferred blindness over guidance. Consequently, the disastrous and shameful retribution annihilated them, because of what they earned.

The question must be asked: Is this letter to the Bush Administration from Iran a “final warning” to the United States?

Was this recent letter the Islamo-facist equivalent of dotting the "I"s and crossing the "T"s with Allah so they can then proceed to murder in good conscience? (What warning was there on 9/11? The U.N. gave Iraq 12 years of warnings. Never Forget WTC!) -- ZZ

Text of Iran President’s Letter to Bush Leaked

(2006-05-08) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s private letter to U.S. President George Bush proposing ‘new solutions‘ was also inadvertently emailed to Mr. Ahmadinejad’s ‘buddy list’, and so reached several major American news organizations yesterday.

It’s the first time since the 1979 revolution, that an Iranian leader has initiated direct contact with the President of the United States.

Below is a translation of the letter:

To: George Bush, president of the Great Satan, puppet of Zionists
Fr: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of peaceful Islamic Republic of Iran
Re: Recent tensions

Sorry it’s been so long. It hardly seems like 26 years since we held 52 Americans hostage for 444 days. Well, enough nostalgia.

Listen, I have some new ideas for how to end the tensions over our little nuclear energy project, and your crusade to let the Zionists take over the Muslim world.

I had a brainstorming session with the Guardian Council, and we came up with a lot of great solutions. But I know you’re busy putting down a Republican rebellion and trying to pull your approval rating out of the toilet (LOL), so I’ll just give you our top five ‘new solutions’.

5) Wipe Israel off the face of the map. Replace with goat ranch.
4) U.S. buys Iranian oil. I make threatening statements causing uncertainty in petroleum markets. We use the windfall profits to pay Russia to help us make nuclear devices, and to pay China to stop U.N. sanctions. U.S. continues to buy Iranian oil.
3) Get U.N. to adopt ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy regarding uranium enrichment.
2) Put Zionists in boxcars. Send back to Europe. Replace Israel with goat ranch.
1) U.S. joins global Muslim Caliphate, ensuring peace and bountiful supplies of enriched uranium for all of Allah’s people.

Feel free to choose more than one solution.

I know you have a lot on your plate — what with the threat of Nancy Pelosi becoming Speaker of the House — but try to get back to me quickly so we can get implementation on a fast track.

Yours in Peace,
Mahmoud

Satire as reported by satirist Scott Ott

Scott does it again with his caustic satire on the latest propaganda from Iran. The recent letter to George Bush is an example of how well these Islamo-facists have learned to manipulate the western media. Tehran is praying for a Democratic victory in the House of Representatives this fall and will do all it can to try and manipulate that outcome. This latest political stunt will be just the tip of the iceberg in the propaganda wars during the coming months. Will it succeed? Or will it backfire?

Getting Ready for November

High Court May Replace Miranda with Kennedy Rights

(2006-05-05) — The 1966 Supreme Court Miranda ruling could face its toughest challenge to date during the fall court session when Justices will consider revising the famous “you have the right to remain silent” litany with a new set of statements known as the “Kennedy Warnings.”

The case springs from an incident this week in which Capitol Hill police allegedly were prevented by their superiors from administering a field sobriety test to Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-RI (photo left), son of Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-MA (photo right... in usual stupor), when the younger Kennedy staggered from his car after narrowly avoiding collision with a police cruiser and crashing into a barricade.

Rep. Kennedy said he had not been drinking alcohol, but was impaired by prescription medications which made him think he had to rush to Congress for a 2:45 a.m. vote.

Police did not run a breathalyzer test, did not arrest the Congressman, and simply gave him a ride home.

An attorney for the American Drunkards Association (ADA) hailed the case as “great leap forward in providing real justice to a people who have faced years of discrimination at the hands of police just because of who they are.”

When the Supreme Court convenes in October, it will consider rewriting the Miranda Warnings to conform to the more progressive treatment Rep. Kennedy received.

The following is a draft excerpt of the new Kennedy Rights:

1. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand? If so, stagger randomly.
2. Anything you do say will be ignored and quickly forgotten, because you’re not yourself right now. Do you understand? If so, let your chin drop suddenly to your chest?
3. You have the right to consult a public relations firm before speaking to the police, and to have your PR spokesman present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand? If so, say: ‘My umbersmand.’
4. If you cannot afford a public relations firm, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. Do you understand? If so, allow your eyeballs to roll back in their sockets.
5. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without a public relations expert present? If you say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, or make any sound at all, or say nothing, we will respect your right to remain silent and we’ll give you a ride home. -- Scott Ott

LOL! There is a gene, scientists are calling it the "Kennedy chaos gene", that runs in that family which follows the following chaos formula: inebriants + land, sea or air vehicle + the "Kennedy-chaos gene" = vehicular trauma, collateral death + proposterous stories. The apple never falls far from the family tree. Genetics sees to that. No shortage of mindless remarks either just like the old man.Patrick Kennedy was once quoted as being proud that he had "Never worked a f----king day in his life !!" and while on Capitol hill no less. Spoken while being in a stupor at a meeting in DC.

Waiting for a Shank in the Ribs

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Moussaoui Gets Life, Bin Laden Repeals 9/11 Attack

Maybe Scott Ott sums it up best in his article in response to the Moussaoui sentence. He is one sarcastic son of a gun and is right on the money with this one...

(2006-05-03) — As the news broke that 9/11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui had escaped the death penalty, al Qaeda leader Usama Bin Laden released an audiotape declaring that he had decided, as a goodwill gesture, to commute the death sentences of the 3,000 victims of 9/11.

“We are grateful for the charity shown to Zacarias, our would-be martyr, by the Great Satan,” said Mr. Bin Laden, using the traditional term of endearment for the United States. “Therefore, I have retroactively issued orders for the hijackers to avoid colliding with the buildings and to return the planes to the control of their crews. May Allah, the merciful, be praised.”" -- satirical reporting by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Jury Decides Against Execution for Moussaoui

Clearly mixed feeling about this.... but you know... maybe what just happened really spoiled the day for the Islamofacists that were planning to politcally exploit an execution. As though anyone gives a rat's ass what they have to say. He does not get "martyred", and we show the world that we are always on higher moral ground with our democratic and pluralistic legal system and respect for a trial by jurors in contrast to savage beheadings, and the murder of innocents. (Although we feel that was too good for this bastard to begin with!!)

(ALEXANDRIA, Va.) May 3 — A federal court jury spared the life of Zacarias Moussaoui today, voting to send him to prison for the rest of his days rather than condemn him to death for the carnage of Sept. 11," More...

We also feel Rudy Giuliani expresses it correctly here. Here is a man that has class and also knows how to play hardball!

(WASHINGTON) - Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani said he was disappointed that Zacarias Moussaoui was not sentenced to death for the September 11 attacks, but other US politicians hailed the verdict as fair.

“I believe the death penalty was appropriate in this case,” said Giuliani, who was mayor of New York in 2001 when two planes flown by Al-Qaeda hijackers smashed into the World Trade Center twin towers.

Had Moussaoui told the FBI about the plot, Giuliani told MSNBC television, “all those wonderful people would be alive and children that I know don’t have fathers would have fathers.”

It will be interesting to see how the Islamo-facists react. Our sincere hope is that prison officials have the courage to turn the other way and let him loose in the general population. With some luck there is a shive in his future with his name on it smeared in pig's fat.

Senators Quell Gas Price Anger with Tote Bag Offer

Scott Ott focuses the spotlight today on the incompetance of our legislature and their questionable marketing practices:

(WASHINGTON) — In an another election-year effort to quell voter anger at rising gasoline prices, Republicans in the Senate today proposed to give each American an attractive tote bag.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-TN, said the tote bag will come with the $100 check he offered last week to help 100 million Americans pay for a week’s worth of gasoline.

The Republican caucus overwhelmingly chose the “consolation prize concept” over two other proposals. One plan called for making the U.S. a loyal colony of Venezuela, the other would fund alternative energy research to tap the wind generated by conservatives fleeing the Republican party.

Next week, the Republican caucus may announce a bill to boost the prize package by including a year’s supply of Eskimo Pies as “a lovely parting gift.”" -- Reported by Satirist Scott Ott

We suspect a full blown promotional campaign will follow complete with Sunday morning infomercials! Stay tuned... perhaps in addition to tote bags, you will also be able to get a free copy of the new "Laws! We don't need no stinking laws" tee shirts hand signed by Presidente Fox.