Saudi King Calls the Kettle Black

(2007-03-30) — Saudi Arabian King Abdullah, addressing an Arab summit in Riyadh yesterday, called the U.S. occupation of Iraq “illegitimate…a relic of medieval times when unelected monarchs ruled their vassals by decree.”

“How is the U.S. occupation of Iraq any different from feudalism?” King Abdullah asked rhetorically. “The Iraqi people did not elect George Bush. He is not accountable to them. He rules from his white palace, doing as he pleases and they must simply endure and comply.”

The Saudi king added that “it’s hard to believe in our progressive 21st century that the United Nations would allow a member state to oppress people like this. In my prayers, I ask Allah to hasten the day when the Iraqi people rise up and throw off the shackles of this antiquated system of governance, and declare their God-given right of self-determination.” --- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Iranian Tea Party

British Invasion of Iran Thwarted

(Tehran) — Faye Turney, one of 15 British sailors and marines held hostage by Iran, confessed today that her group had not accidentally strayed into Iranian waters, as she had previously admitted, but were actually mounting an invasion of the Islamic Republic.

“On direct orders from Prime Minister Tony Blair,” said Ms. Turney, “my mates and I were about to hit the beaches in southwestern Iran. From there our orders were to drive directly to the heart of Tehran and raise the Union Jack, claiming Iran as a British colony.”

The confession, contained in a note to her Mum, also indicated that the 15 British seapersons were “eager to reclaim the heathen land of Persia for the Christians and Jews.” -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

This will go down in military annals as one of the worst botched British air-sea-land invasions in the history of the British Empire. It rivals that of the U.S. invasion of Iran in 1979, when 52 Americans embassy workers, acting alone of course, botched their invasion mission which lead to their capture by Islamic Republic Hostage Defense Forces. It was only after heroic the shock and awe of the massive military might called up and deployed by the then Commander-in-Chief, President Jimmy Carter in mission Desert One, did we as a nation come to our senses and gave penance and restitution for the egregious transgressions of these 52 misguided invaders.

Tony Blair must now learn from Jimmy Carter. Be prepared to go in with your guns blazing and choppers falling out of the sky without their engine intake dust protectors. Don't forget to make sure your choppers are ill equipped for desert warfare and whatever you do, don't be too too aggressive. Otherwise you too may become humbled by the Iranian military. --- ed.

Tags: politics, sarcasm, satire, world news, zz

Man Looses Ears in Bar Fight

Man loses ears trying to break up bar fight:

"ATHENS (Reuters) - A Greek tavern owner who tried to break up a fight between customers watching a Greece-Turkey soccer match had both ears bitten off, police said on Wednesday.

Owner Dimitris Tsibibakis intervened as scuffles erupted after a group of Bulgarians shouted slogans supporting Turkey when they scored their third goal in the European championship qualifier and locals told them to stop.

'I tried to split them up and ended up on the floor with one of the Bulgarians biting one ear and another one chewing the other ear off,' Tsibibakis told state television on Wednesday from hospital.

'I need to have plastic surgery. Doctors told me they cannot just stitch them back on,' Tsibibakis said. 'At least I still have the pieces that were bitten off.'

Police said they arrested three of the Bulgarians and were looking for a fourth. Greece lost the match against their archrivals 4-1." -- More...

Mike Tyson would be proud...

Tags: humor, bizarre, culture, zz

A Candid Review of Suicide Girls

The following review of the popular "quasi-porn" site, Suicide Girls, caught our attention this morning. It was interesting enough with a unique point of view that we felt it was worth sharing with you in the interest of FREE SPEECH? Why free speech? Well it seems the author has been getting some grief for being too candid, not only on this topic but several others at his site and seems to have been "censored" (harsh but true) at one of the mainstream traffic enhancement services. Kevin's Freak'in Hungry is the site. We like Kevin's style and his sarcastic in your face writting style. In the interest of the freedom of expression, read on...

The other day I took a shot at the Suicide Girls in my blog about tattoos and got a few messages about it, nothing huge. I was kind of hoping for more so it would set me up for this blog but it didn’t happen that way.

First I want to say this was inspired partially by a blog written by Kristen Ferrell,

who by the way is an amazing artist you should check out, she has a ton of talent. She talked about the exploitative porn machine is that is the Suicide Girls but I will touch on that only a bit here.

Before I explain how the Suicide Girl trend irritates the ever

living shit out of me, I want to take a second to discuss something positive about it because I don’t want them to get lost in my overall opinion.

The Good Thing About the Suicide Girls

The models show us there is more to the concept of beauty than the traditional idea of beauty. Some of the girls on the site are truly beautiful and I think when some of the people see them it makes them reconsider what they think true beauty is. Plus they give me something to flog the bishop to when I am sick of looking at the regular stuff, it’s nice to see a girl tied up with “super freak” tattooed above her ass crack. Also the whole neo-pinup thing isn’t exactly a bad movement. READ MORE FROM kp2575

If you think this material is too over the top after reading the article at his site, we would love to hear your reasons why here after you leave some comments there. Personally it is far from over the top in our estimation. Kevin (kp2575) and Kristen Ferrel, whom he cites, both, in our opinion, make some excellent observations regarding the almost cultishness of the SG movement. SG is now a business and some of the SG wannabes are naive about what they are setting themselves up for later in life. But then again, maybe that's the Suicide part of being an Suicide Girl?

Tags: bullshit, bizarre, satire, sarcasm, zz

Al Jazeera: U.S. Navy Show of Force

Al Jazeera English - News

The US navy has begun its largest demonstration of force in the Gulf since the invasion of Iraq in 2003.

The exercises, just off the coast of Iran, involve more than 10,000 US personnel.


Kevin Aandahl, a US navy commander, declined to say when plans for the exercises had been drawn up.

The maneuvers bring together two strike groups of US warships and more than 100 aircraft to conduct simulated air warfare in and above the crowded Gulf shipping lanes. More...

AL Jazeera calls it like it sees it today on its English language website. It's always interesting to read their perspective. We think they got this one right. No doubt the U.S. is sending a message to Tehran that we would provide support if any British covert operation is launched to free the British hostages. Should Great Britain... a) apologize to the Iranians?... b) negotiate with the Iranians?... c) take some hostages of their own?... d) ask the U.N to draft a resolution?

Four More Years

Presidential Swap

Here is a great example of out of the box diplomatic thinking. We are certain Jimmy Carter would welcome such an opportunity. The side benefit of such a swap should be more than attractive to the former President. He will have an opportunity to get one step closer to finally apologizing to the Iranians for his mis-guided efforts in attempting to rescue the 52 Americans taken hostage back in 1979. Given his enlightenment over the years (in particular due to his long time friendship with his homie YA), he above all, has a deep understanding of the mis-understood Iranian struggle and their historical national pride in their kidnapping and hostage taking skills for defensive and peaceful purposes only.

(Washington) — A source close to Dick Cheney said today that the vice president has suggested freeing 15 British sailors and marines from Iranian captivity by trading former President Jimmy Carter for the hostages.

The deal, which Mr. Cheney reportedly believes “has a certain poetic justice to it”, would require an executive order signed by President George Bush, but the unnamed source said presidential adviser Karl Rove “can take care of that as usual without bothering the president with the details.” [ In the photo above Jimmy can be seen with his old buddy, Yassir Arafat. This is the sort of relationship that makes the ex-president uniquely qualified for the mission at hand. -- ed.]

White House insiders said the trade would not violate the Bush administration’s policy of refusing to negotiate with terrorists, “since only one party in this deal would receive anything of strategic value.” -- satire as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace ed.

Tags: iran, politics, satire, sarcasm, zz

Recent Onion Poll: LT. Come Home !!

THE WAR IN IRAQ: Celebrating Four Years of Winning?
Public Wants Troops Home:
According to a recent poll, 52 percent of Americans want to withdraw troops from Iraq within the next 12 months. What does the man and woman on the street think?

James Pelletier, Linguistics Professor "Sure, they say that now, but just wait until the troops have been back for a few weeks."

Allison Roberts, Systems Analyst "That's intriguing, because 52 percent of me wants U.S. troops out of Iraq, too. Is the poll also, like me, 38 percent in support of the war and 10 percent unsure?"

Ryan Heffernan, Chief Operations Officer "Ridiculous. I, for one, support our efforts in Iraq, and so do the other gentlemen on the board of Trans-American Cheap Pine Box, Inc."

Hat tip: The Onion.... stop by their site and take a load off... It's "hard work" winning...!!

Tags: politics, parody, sarcasm, satire, zz

Iran Captures Sailors for Peaceful Purposes

(Satire) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said that his forces took 15 British sailors and marines as hostages for “peaceful purposes,” and that no other nation has the right to determine whether Iran can “develop and test kidnapping technology.”

Mr. Ahmadinejad also accused the British and U.S. governments, who have protested the incident, of “interfering with long-standing cultural traditions in the Islamic Republic of Iran.”

“We are a people who value the capture and detention of westerners,” said Mr. Ahmadinejad. “Our great Islamic revolution achieved world prominence more than 25 years ago when we held 52 Americans for 444 days. So hostage-taking is a sacred rite among us, and a solemn obligation.”

The Iranian leader added, “We do not expect narrow-minded godless monsters like Tony Blair and George Bush to understand our peaceful religious culture, but we insist that they respect it.” -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

What are your thoughts? Does Scott have it right? Are we headed for another conflict in the Middle East this time with Iran over this and their regional nuclear superiority ambitions? Will in fact the U.N. respect Iran's right to hone their hostage taking skills as Scott points out? Are apologies in order?

No doubt the British marines and sailors must have failed to steer clear of the plainly marked Iranian Naval War Games Kidnap/Hostage Test Range. Is the British Admiralty asleep at the switch? We are sure apologies are forthcoming. Rumor has it that British Tornadoes F3s have been loading stores of "forgivingness" leaflets to drop on Tehran in the coming days.

Tags: sarcasm, politics, parody, iran, zz

Add V3 Arcade Games To Your Website or Blog

Do you want to add arcade style flash games to your website or blog? You can now download a collection of fully tested arcade flash games which have been tested, sorted, categorized, packaged and made available for immediate digital download over at OpenWeb Downloads and also at PayLoadZ. Over 290+ games are available in three convenient low priced downloads.

The Shooting Arcade game to the left is a typical example. You can also try them all out in the OpenWeb Arcade, simply register over at the OpenWeb Downloads Arcade to check them all out and have some fun.

Each of the download packs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including its respective thumbnail (.gif) along with an instruction guide (in .pdf format) explaining how to configure them so your visitors can play these games right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above. [Game Inventory Listing (.pdf)]

If you have access to a server you simply upload all the files and link to them in a post, a special area in your margin, or anywhere else on your site! If your server host doesn't allow file uploading FileCrunch provides a free file hosting starter option you can use. Sweet!

Tags: flash, flash-games, games, flash instruction, arcade, zz

U.S. Attorney Firings I

U.S. Attorney Firings II

Iranian Navy Detains British Sailors in Persian Gulf

Not good:

NPR : Iranian Navy Detains British Sailors in Persian Gulf: "All Things Considered, March 23, 2007 · The Iranian navy detained 15 British sailors and marines today, in disputed waters in the Persian Gulf. The British defense ministry says the troops were seized and held at gunpoint after inspecting a cargo ship.

The British government quickly protested Iran's action, saying that the Royal Navy was engaged in routine boarding operations while protecting Iraq's territorial waters." More...

There’s Just One America Now

We often share with you the works of Scott Ott, a very talented satirist who publishes at ScrappleFace. Scott, to be sure, leans to the right in his political thought. We try to present some satirical balance at this site, so from time to time we will cite his work to provide that balance. Today we saw this piece and felt compelled to share it with you. NO it's not his usual SATIRE. It comes from his heart and reflects what we suspect many people regardless of political affiliation are feeling regarding what the Edwards are facing. Well done Scott!

(2007-03-22) — President George Bush made the following remarks upon hearing the news that Elizabeth Edwards, wife of Democrat presidential candidate, John Edwards, has cancer again in a treatable, but not curable, form.

While campaigning for president in 2004, John Edwards’ favorite stump speech focused on the things that divide us as a country. “There are two Americas, not one,” Sen. Edwards used to say.

Today, on behalf of my fellow Americans, let me say this to John and Elizabeth Edwards: There’s just one America now.

There’s one America that trembles at the word ‘cancer’, and gazes into the eyes of Elizabeth Edwards to marvel at her courage.

There’s one America that aches with the pain of a husband who longs to fix the problem that’s hurting his wife, but finds himself inadequate to the task, desperate for solutions, wishing he could bear the tumor himself and spare his beautiful bride.

There’s one America that steps reverently at the threshold of eternity whenever we hear such a diagnosis — one America that wonders “what would I do…what will I do…when I awake one day to find myself defined by disease?”

Cancer itself sees but one America.

Black or white, believer or atheist, Democrat or Republican — we all walk on feet of clay upon the dust from which we came and to which, one day, our mortal bodies shall return.

The wealth of the rich man avails him little in the face of such an adversary. He and the poor man stand on level ground in one America. The life that once stretched out before them is compressed into a moment. The horizon rushes up and the future fades in a fog.

For you today, there’s one America that pauses to weep or takes a knee to pray.

There’s one America that casts off the red and blue uniforms of the games we play in public to join your team as you struggle in private.

There’s one America that calls on Divine Providence to intervene on your behalf.

And across this land, in every village and on almost every city block there’s at least one American anonymously sharing this portion of life’s trouble with you right now. Your public prominence means you will continue to inspire others, but you are not a poster child, nor super human. You have no obligation to us to act a certain way.

Elizabeth and John, may you find strength for the journey, faith from above, grace to endure, fellowship among those who share the burden and unstinting love from all of us.

My brother and sister, there’s just one America now…and we’re praying for you.

May God bless you. -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Don't Askiversary

Animator Mark Fiore sheds light on an entire new strategy unfolding in the administration. The animation provides a clear and present danger insight into the logic of the commander-in-chief's strategy of surging to victory in Iraq. He gets a thumbs up from us on this the anniversary week of the Iraq war for providing once again a more satirical and pointed perspective. Thank you for the sarcasm Mark.
--- Hat Tip: scotty23

Tags: political cartoons, politics, sarcasm, parody, bush, zz

Hamas TV Glorifies Family Suicide

(Not Satire) Last week LGF featured a clip from Hamas TV, showing an interview with the children of a female suicide bomber, who talked about their wish to follow in their mother’s footsteps: Death Cult Family Moments from Hamas TV.

Now Palestinian Media Watch has more from Hamas TV; the terror gang with whom George Soros wants the US to “negotiate” has produced a short film showing the daughter of murderer Reem Riyashi singing to her dead mother as she arms herself with explosives. Pure unmitigated evil. --- Hat Tip: LGF

Editorial: There is nothing more vile and evil than to twist the mind of an innocent child to embrace hatred, murder and terror as a noble act. The liberal left should be the first to agree with this. Make love not war. Radical left lunatics please don't make the equivalence to the War in Iraq as justification for this level of barbarism and evil. Recently "insurgents" in Irag (better known as terrorists outside of main stream media) used children in the back seat of cars to decoy and were "sacrificed" to "allah" (small case on purpose) in order to get their car bomb closer to their target. Child exploitation is growing as a strategy in their evil minds. This video is clear evidence of this.

Civilized nations of the world (that includes moderate Arab nations) must STOP giving aid and support to Hamas and organizations sympathetic to Hamas if the leaders of those nations have any shred of decency left in their bodies. That includes any aid from the U.S. under the guise of "humanitarian aid", officially or unofficially through private funds or public!! I shudder to think that one cent of my tax dollar this March in any way, shape, or form, is sent to Palestine as "humanitarian aid" and ends up financing the corruption of innocent children like this. This video is a clear manifestation of the evil that is Hamas.. --- ed.

Tags: middle east, palestine, terrorism, world news, zz

Condi Rice Conducts Bathtub Summit

Condoleezza Rice Holds Bathtime Talks With Undersea Representatives

WASHINGTON, DC—Delegates worked out a new cease-splash agreement and broke an impasse on temperature reform.

Ok, looking for something wild? Stop by The Onion and check out this Condi Rice article. You gotta love the Nubian goddess of political diplomacy and her relentless pursuit of peace in the Middle East... read on

Tags: bizarre, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

Al Gore Doesn't Exhale

(2007-03-21) — Oscar-winning filmmaker Al Gore, testifying Wednesday before a Congressional panel on global warming, revealed a little-known technique he has used for years to reduce his personal greenhouse gas emissions.

“I don’t exhale, and I haven’t since about 1991,” said the full-figured Mr. Gore. “Science shows there’s nothing wrong with humans breathing per se, it’s just the exhaling of carbon dioxide that threatens to bring our world to a premature, fiery, water-drenched apocalyptic end.”

Mr. Gore, still a Democrat party favorite to win the White House in the year 2000, said he also reduces his so-called “carbon footprint” by giving speeches and making movies to convince other people to cut their greenhouse gas production, thereby offsetting the emissions generated by his own global travel in private jets as well as SUVs and limousines.

“Leveraging the small efforts of millions of ordinary people is a very democratic way of achieving carbon-neutrality,” Mr. Gore said.

“It’s a team effort,” he added, while displaying a Powerpoint slide of the acronym: TEAM = Together Everyone Atones for Me.--- Hat Tip: Scott Ott

Tags: off-beat, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

Priest Beats Customs Screening

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." --- Hat Tip: megitt33

Tags: humor, off-beat, zz

A Father and Son Talk

[Hat tip: Meggit33]

Tags: parody, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

Ann Coulter's Big Mouth

OpenWeb Downloads adds vBulletin Flash Game Support

Support for vBulletin and v3Arcade flash arcade games have now been added to download game packs for websites and blogs. All gif files, .swf files and install.php files are included.
These same .swf files can be used in blogs and website by uploading the .swf file to a server and linking to the files just as you would a graphics file. They can also be run stand alone on any PC that is using a browser that is running Macromedia Flash.

Gonzales: I Should Have Fired Them All

(2007-03-18) — Embattled U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales made a conference call Friday to the nation’s 93 U.S. attorneys to express his “profound regret” that he didn’t “fire every last one of you when I had the chance,” according to an unnamed source who was in on the call.

The contrite Mr. Gonzales said he was sorry that only eight U.S. attorneys had lost their jobs, thus sparking a Congressional probe into accusations that the Bush administration “played politics” with political appointees.

“If we had canned the lot of you, like President Clinton did when he took office, no one could accuse President Bush of favoritism,” said Mr. Gonzales. “But we failed to disrupt every federal case in the country at once, and so I apologize that you folks have to deal with the fallout of this situation when you could have been back in private practice, making big bucks, instead of stuck in your dead-end government jobs.”

White House spokesman Tony Snow said the Attorney General’s remarks were part of the ongoing Bush administration effort “to set a new tone in Washington.”

“The president continues to believe that his administration should strive to do the right thing now and apologize for it later,” said Mr. Snow. -- as reported by satirical reporter Scott Ott

Tags: politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

OpenWeb Links Directory

Have you added your site's URL to the OpenWeb Links Directory yet??



OpenWeb Links Directory is optimized for all of the major search engines. Directory listing is one of the fastest and easiest ways to get your blog indexed from within a site with a high page rank count. OpenWeb Links Directory is also indexed daily.

P.S. Happy St. Patrick's Day

Tags: blog directories, blogware, downloads, site traffic, zz

The Risk of Victory in Iraq

They say there are two sides to every story. ScrappleFace author Scott Ott shares his perspectives below regarding the political schizophrenia that has possessed Washington since the change in power in the House of Representatives. The onsite of the 2008 Presidential campaign has only added to the mass psychosis.

(2007-03-13) — The Democrat timeline for pulling U.S. troops from Iraq is designed to protect the United States against what House Speaker Nancy Pelosi calls “the threat and consequences of victory.”

The California lawmaker told reporters today that while Republicans focus on how the Democrat proposal undermines the troops and leads inevitably to defeat, “few have paused to consider the risk of victory.”

“A major triumph in the war on terror in Iraq would cause immeasurable political upheaval in the United States,” said Rep. Pelosi. “Unemployment would increase, especially among career politicians who opposed the president’s strategy. Countless millions of dollars would be wasted on doomed political campaigns.”

The Speaker noted that Democrats would be hardest hit by “the unfair distribution of misery” in the wake of a victory in Iraq. With Iraq as a U.S. ally, trade would increase between the two nations, Rep. Pelosi said, creating more competition in international markets a blow to domestic labor unions. Tourism to Iraqi resorts and historical sites would eventually draw travelers away from similar destinations in the U.S. and Europe, she said.

In addition, with the second-largest petroleum reserves in the world in the hands of a U.S. ally, fuel prices at the pump could plummet below $2 per gallon, threatening the livelihood of thousands of convenience store owners. Rep. Pelosi said the Bush administration have not even begun to consider the devastating impact on the self-esteem of Muslim fundamentalists should the Iraqi government ever become able to secure its own streets and borders.

Finally, Rep. Pelosi noted that if the Republican strategy for victory in Iraq succeeds, the United States will lose its best opportunity in a generation to inaugurate either a women, or an African American as president. -- as reported by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: parody, politics, sarcasm, zz

Bizzar: Actual On-Star Transcript

Man: Can you let me know where my car is located?

OnStar: Sir, my computer shows me that you are calling me using the OnStar service.

Man: That's right.

OnStar: Meaning, you are in your car right now.

Man: (crying) Tell me where I am!

OnStar: It looks like the Costco parking lot in Canyon Country.

Man: What is this (slowly) COOOST-COOOO?

OnStar: It is a warehouse club store.

Man: Can you unlock my door? I am really scared!

OnStar: You are inside your car, sir. You can unlock them yourself.

Man: (Crying) I don't want to die in here!

Sound of car door unlocking.

Man: Now I am free. Thank you OnStar!

OnStar: You're welcome.

Man: Call the police! I've been in an accident!

OnStar: Your car has not moved for hours, according to the GPS.

Man: It happened weeks ago.

OnStar: Sir I don't think--

Man: (crying) I am losing blood!

Sound of typing.

OnStar: Police have been called. I'll stay on the phone with you until they arrive.

Man: Great. (pause) So... Can you tell me if Costco still has their very large chicken pies?

Sound of typing.

OnStar: No, sir, they are out.

Man: Lock my doors, please.

Sound of car door locking. Sirens approaching.

OnStar: Sir, my records tell me you are in fact, Harvey Keitel. Is this true?

Nothing.

OnStar: (yelling) SIR, IS THIS TRUE?

Silence. Sirens. Sound of a gun being cocked.

End of call.

Photo by bovine magnet

Tags: bizarre, off-beat, zz

GOP Iraq Pull-Out Amendment to End War on AIDS

(2007-03-09) — Just a day after Democrats introduced a bill setting a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq, Republicans today plan to offer an amendment which would establish a timeline for U.S. retreat from the war on AIDS.

Former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan declared war on AIDS in 2001, but by 2003 he acknowledged that the world was losing the battle against the deadly foe.

“We’re spending billions of dollars,” said one unnamed House Republican, “while millions of young people are dying with no hope for victory in sight. It’s a hopeless quagmire.”

The GOP amendment calls for the U.S. to begin redeploying medical researchers from the field within 90 days, and sets August 31, 2008, as the deadline for turning over responsibility for halting the spread of HIV to the local communities where the contagion has flourished.

Since the Democrat Iraq pull-out timetable is attached to a bill that increases money for medical care for U.S. troops, Republicans said it’s appropriate to include their amendment effectively ending the global war on AIDS by cutting off billions in medical funding mostly bound for Africa."

“If Iraq’s political problems that spawn terror attacks can’t be solved with soldiers, guns and money,” the GOP lawmaker said, “neither can Africa’s moral problems that spread HIV be overcome with researchers, medicine and money.” -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: world news, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz