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Bringing You The Latest In News Satire and Sarcasm...


Friday, June 29, 2007

Download Flash Games

Add arcade style flash games to your website or blog to encourage visitors to stick around and bookmark! You can now download entire collections of arcade style flash games over at OpenWeb Digital Downloads. The game packs have been tested, categorized, packaged and made available for immediate digital download. You can find them over at OpenWeb Downloads and also over at PayLoadZ along with other unique software. Over 300+ flash games are available in several zipped download packs.

The Shooting Arcade game to your left is one typical example. You can demo them all live over at their arcade site. Just register at the OpenWeb Downloads Arcade and check them out yourself and also have some fun at the same time! We have also loaded three of these games into our right margin for you to play and check out right here at ZZ N&S.

The basic download packs for blogs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including its respective thumbnail (.gif) along with an instruction guide (.pdf) explaining how to configure them so your visitors can play them right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above. [Basic Game Inventory Listing (.pdf)] Special packs are also available for vBulletin Arcades and Nuke Arcades which now also include installation scripts for these formal arcade sites. All these games will run however stand alone on your website, blog or off line on your PC or laptop.

You will need server FTP access. If you have access to a server what you do is simply upload all the files in the pack and then link to them in a post, or in a special area in your margin, (See our right margin as an example) or link to them anywhere else on your site that you choose similar to a picture file. If your server host (ISP) doesn't allow file uploading or you don't have access to an server, check out FileCrunch. Filecrunch provides a free file hosting option which anyone can use. Very sweet! Flash games right in your blog! This is an easy way to entertain your visitors and also get them to stick around and give them another reason to bookmark your site!



by ZZ Staff | 6/29/2007 07:43:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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by ZZ Staff | 6/29/2007 07:35:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Tony Blair Punches Out


by ZZ Staff | 6/29/2007 07:30:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Immigrant Amnesty Bill Dead RIP

(WASHINGTON) June 28 — President Bush’s effort to overhaul the nation’s immigration policy, a cornerstone of his domestic agenda, collapsed Thursday in the Senate, with little prospect that it can be revived before Mr. Bush leaves office in 19 months.

The bill called for the biggest changes to immigration law in more than 20 years, offering legal status to millions of illegal immigrants while trying to secure borders. But the Senate, forming blocs that defied party affiliation, could never unite on the main provisions.

Rejecting the president’s last-minute pleas, it voted, 53 to 46, to turn back a motion to end debate and move toward final passage. Supporters fell 14 votes short of the 60 needed to close the debate.

Mr. Bush placed telephone calls to lawmakers throughout the morning. But members of his party abandoned him in droves, with just 12 of the 49 Senate Republicans sticking by him on the important procedural vote that determined the fate of the bill.

Nearly one-third of Senate Democrats voted, in effect, to block action on the bill.

The vote followed an outpouring of criticism from conservatives and others who called it a form of amnesty for lawbreakers.

The outcome was a bitter disappointment for Mr. Bush and other supporters of a comprehensive approach, including Hispanic and church groups and employers who had been seeking greater access to foreign workers.

Supporters and opponents said the measure was dead for the remainder of the Bush administration, though conceivably individual pieces might be revived.

The vote reflected the degree to which Congress and the nation are polarized over immigration. The emotional end to what had been an emotional debate was evident, with a few senior staff members who had invested months in writing the bill near tears.

“The bill now dies,” said Senator Dianne Feinstein, Democrat of California, who helped write the measure.

The outcome also underscored the challenge that Mr. Bush faces in exerting authority and enacting an agenda as members of his party increasingly break with him and Democrats no longer fear him. Having already given up on other ambitious second-term plans like overhauling Social Security, the administration has little prospect of winning any big new legislative achievements in its final months.

The collapse also highlighted the difficulties that the new Democratic leadership in Congress has had in showing that it can address the big problems facing the nation. In this case, Democratic leaders asserted that the failure of the immigration bill reflected on Mr. Bush, and not on their party.

Senator David Vitter, the Louisiana Republican who helped lead opposition to the bill, said: “The proponents did not get even a simple majority. The message is crystal clear. The American people want us to start with enforcement at the border and at the workplace and don’t want promises. They want action. They want results. They want proof, because they’ve heard all the promises before.”

In voting to end the debate, the 12 Republicans were joined by 33 Democrats and one independent. Voting against the motion to end the debate were 15 Democrats, one independent and 37 Republicans, including the minority leader, Mitch McConnell of Kentucky.

“I had hoped for a bipartisan accomplishment,” Mr. McConnell said. “What we got was a bipartisan defeat.”

Among the Democrats voting no were several up for re-election next year, including Senators Max Baucus of Montana, Tom Harkin of Iowa and John D. Rockefeller IV of West Virginia.

The Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, Democrat of Nevada, said he spoke to Mr. Bush after the vote and thanked him for his work in support of the bill.

More... dare I say .... The NY Times

Sanity has prevailed!! Most Americans believe we should begin by enforcing the laws on the books and prosecuting companies that break the law by hiring illegal aliens. Only Congress's popularity ratings are lower than the President's and now we all understand why. This bill would have sent the wrong message to employers that indentured servitude will be rewarded if you just wait long enough and there are enough potential votes at risk to pander to. We are glad that Democrats and Republicans alike have listened to the American people who are legally here and shot down this faulty plan of the President's that would have caused a mass invasion into the U.S. of immigrants to jump on the fast track to a welfare system sucking dry our economy and infrastructure. Immigrants that followed the law and emigrated here LEGALLY we are sure are the winners and should be most satisfied with this outcome. There are plenty of corner cases, but one cannot just dismiss that the approach of breaking the law to enter the U.S., and the corporate hiring of such "employees" should be rewarded rather than punished. That's our editorial opinion for the evening.


by ZZ Staff | 6/28/2007 10:44:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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The Lord Your Cheney

The Vice President, Dick Cheney, guides his pastoral flock in an animated parody that allows us to call a winner of the ZZ News and Satire award for the month of June. We are so confident that no satirical material will surpass this, that we bestow the award today before the end of the month! Even if you are a Republican, and a supporter of the present Administration, you'll have to admit that this is one great piece of satirical humor. Mark Fiore has outdone himself on this one. --- [Hat Tip: markfiore.com]

No doubt the current hearings on secrecy has fueled this parody, as Democratic Congressional leaders take full aim, (no pun intended) at Dick Cheney's involvement in some of the more dubious undertakings of the current administration. Fiore's animation depicts Dick Cheney as the Lord on High and keeper of all the secret thoughts that filter their way into the heads of Saints Bush and Gonzalez. The V.P.'s current predicament is certainly creating great material for satirists of virtually all political persuasions. We're sure there will be more to come if it's not upstaged by failed Immigration Reform legislation in the Senate. --- ed.


by ZZ Staff | 6/28/2007 07:58:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Obama wins Politico.com Straw Poll

Is this bad news for Hillary Clinton? The Barack Obama campaign thinks so. But what exactly does this "straw poll" victory tell us about the Obama voter appeal? Politico.com website is not a bastion of centrist Democrats. From what we can tell the vast majority of the readership already had it out for Hillary Clinton months ago. The upshot is that this confirms that Obama's strategy to alienating Hillary from the far left of the Democrat political spectrum is working. Will it work where it counts? Only the primary results will show for sure.

Meanwhile the GOP is probably licking their chops over an Obama ticket. Even with Hillary as a VP running mate (although we hardly think that's probable. The reverse is more likely.)
Obama wins Politico.com Straw Poll - Politico.com: "Senator Barack Obama scored a victory among progressive activists Wednesday, winning the Politico.com Straw Poll of attendees at the Take Back America Conference in Washington.

Obama received 29% of the 720 votes cast in the straw poll, narrowly beating out former North Carolina Senator John Edwards, and decisively knocking official front-runner Hillary Clinton into third place.

Edwards took 26% of the vote and Clinton 17%.

The poll establishes Obama and Edwards as a two-man top tier among the liberal segment of the Democratic base, said pollster Stan Greenberg, because they were also the most popular second choices for the nomination.

'If you look at this, you see Obama's [supporters'] second choice and Edwards [supporters'] second choice are each other -- in this group, the two of them form the top tier.'

Those results may indicate that a majority of the activists surveyed are looking for a choice other than Clinton.

New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson came in fourth with 9% of the vote.

Al Gore came in fifth with 8% -- although he has not said he is running and was not included in the choices on the ballot. As a write-in, he beat out four declared candidates." -- politico.com
Who will save the Democrats from themselves ? Why Al Gore of course. He will undoubtedly be the wild card that will provide the most consternation in the camapign. Al Gore and Hillary Clinton on the same ticket? Lord help us all!!


by ZZ Staff | 6/26/2007 09:56:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Immigration Leadership



...or follow me to Albania where my legacy will live on forever!!

by ZZ Staff | 6/25/2007 08:28:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Church of Obama

The phrase, "hijacking a religion", which up until now has been used by politicians on both sides of the aisle to describe the rationalization of Islamic terrorism by radical Islamic clerics, has now been hijacked itself by Barack Obama in recent speeches:
"Somehow, somewhere along the way, faith stopped being used to bring us together and faith started being used to drive us apart," the Democratic presidential candidate said in a 30-minute speech before the national meeting of the United Church of Christ.

"Faith got hijacked, partly because of the so-called leaders of the Christian Right, all too eager to exploit what divides us," the Illinois senator said. --- [Hat Tip: Washington Post]

In a "Bush league" attempt to psychologically draw a parallel inferring the Christian right is on par with Hamas, Hezboulah and other Islamic fundamentalist terror organization for which this phrase has been most commonly associated during the past five years should not go un-noticed. What is he up to??

Could it be that Barack Obama is now a theological expert? Where does he get this deep insight from?

Obama is a member of the United Church of Christ, a church of about 1.2 million members that is considered one the most liberal of the mainline Protestant groups.

In 1972, the church was the first to ordain an openly gay man. Two years ago, the church endorsed same-sex marriage, the largest Christian denomination to do so. Obama believes that states should decide whether to allow gay marriage, and he opposes a constitutional amendment against it.

Conservative Christian bloggers have linked Obama to what they call the "unbiblical" teachings of his church. Theological conservatives believe gay relationships violate Scripture, while more liberal Christians emphasize the Bible's social justice teachings.

If you are a Democrat you have to begin to wonder if this latest back handed innuendo aimed at organized Christian religion is not the first sign of a religious live and let live philosophy aimed at pandering to the far left base. We suspect Barack Obama hopes this more "secular" position will resonate strongly with them driving any remaining hard left Hillary Clinton supporters into his camp as he begins to polarize his party even further. Obama appeared destined to fight with Hillary over the far left vote from the start of the campaign as the Senator from New York seems to have a solid following with main stream Democrats. Expect polarization, religious and racial pandering from the Obama zealots to amp up in coming months.

Obama trails Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York by 33 percent to 21 percent in the most recent Associated Press-Ipsos poll among Democrats and those leaning toward the party.

-- ZZ Bachman

by ZZ Staff | 6/24/2007 09:22:00 AM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Friday, June 22, 2007

Romney Meets the Evangelicals


by ZZ Staff | 6/22/2007 09:54:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Romney Explains Primary Strategy


by ZZ Staff | 6/22/2007 09:48:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Significant Differences Between Lutherans and Catholics Discovered

--- [Hat Tip: to megitt33] who sent this in on the lighter side for us to share...
A little boy, about six years old, was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday when he came to a crossroad where he met a little girl coming from another direction.

"Hello," said the little boy.

Hi," replied the little girl.

"Where are you going?" asked the little boy.

"I'm on my way home from church," answered the little girl.

"Me too," replied the little boy. "I'm on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy.

"I go to the Lutheran church down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?"

"I go to the Catholic church at the top of the hill," replied the little boy.

They discovered that they were both going the same way so they decided to walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road.

There was no way that they could pass without getting wet. "If I get my new Sunday dress wet my mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl.

"My Mom will tan my hide if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy.

"I know what I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across." "That's a good idea," replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit."

So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. As they stood there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, the little boy finally remarked, "You know, I never realized how much difference there is between a Lutheran and a Catholic."


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by ZZ Staff | 6/22/2007 08:06:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Congress Passes Parity in Energy Fairness Provision

Scott Ott explains the recently passed Energy Legislation calling for 40% more fuel efficiency in much more detail than can be found even in the Congressional record. In the following report Scott follows the logic of adding the Energy Fairness provision to also "legislate" efficiency in a number of other key industries that the American consumer has grown to know and love. The Parity in Energy Fairness Provision as it is also sometimes called, should soon provide the long sort after efficiencies to improve the quality of American life by 40%. Undisclosed sources indicated that drafts of this little known provision were found partially shredded in the circular file in Nancy Pelosi's office.
(SATIRE) — The U.S. Senate voted yesterday to mandate a 40 percent increase in fuel economy for new cars and light trucks by the year 2020, as a way to reduce U.S. reliance on foreign oil.

In a little-noted “fairness” provision of the bill, the Senate also required other American manufacturers to increase the efficiency of their products as well. Among the new mandates with a 2020 deadline…
– U.S. meatpackers must increase the protein content of ground beef so that a single hamburger provides a week’s supply of energy.
– Fruit and vegetable growers must reduce the heat of the mid-day sun by 40 percent so that American citizens become willing to harvest produce, thus reducing reliance upon illegal aliens
– America’s manufacturers of room deodorizers, air fresheners and evergreen tree-shaped car scent devices must show a 40 percent increase in olfactory pleasure-per-sniff (PPS) with the goal of eventually eliminating U.S. dependence on foreign aromas.
– Jazz musicians will be compelled by law to increase the number of notes per measure by 40 percent.
– The U.S. Department of Education will enforce an increase in the average S.A.T. mathematics score of public school students from the current 518, to 725, thus reducing U.S. reliance upon smart people from foreign countries.
– California winemakers must boost the alcohol content of each serving of their beverages by 40 percent in order to wean Americans off foreign-made chardonnay and merlot.
– The dairy industry will have to make a variety of cheese so sharp it will need a federal label warning against lacerations
– U.S. journalists must reduce the number of anonymous sources and unchecked facts by 40 percent, thus decreasing public reliance upon bloggers and talk radio.

--- as reported by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace



by ZZ Staff | 6/22/2007 07:05:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Congress Passes Energy Innovation Act


[Hat tip: Mark Fiore]
(Animated Satire) On the heels of the Senate passing the energy legislation package last night which would mandate the first substantial change in the nation's vehicle fuel-efficiency law since 1975 despite opposition from both parties, political animation by Mark Fiore looks at the current level of Congressional impotence and ignorance when it comes to enabling energy efficiency in the U.S. automobile industry.

Watch and listen carefully to the latest inspirational legislation as conjured up by our forward thinking leaders in Washington. Learn about aggressive plans to develop state of the art coal burning automobiles and viscous cycle circular logic fuel sources...


by ZZ Staff | 6/22/2007 06:10:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Saturday, June 16, 2007

Hamas In Full Control of Gaza

The Hamas terrorist organization has successfully staged an apparent overthrow of Fatah this evening according to sources below. Israel watches as their sworn enemy is now in full control of Gaza. It appears to be just a matter of time that the civil war will spill over in earnest within the West Bank. The world is watching and can certainly anticipate the Israeli reaction upon the first suicide bombing or rocket attack into Israeli soil from Gaza. The recent shift in Israeli leadership makes it almost a foregone conclusion that the Israeli response will be swift and overwhelming unlike their botched military action in Lebanon against Hezbolah several months ago. For the region and the world... NOT GOOD!

A meticulous plan, drawn up by Hamas, the Islamic resistance movement, with tactical guidance from their Iranian mentors, was being put into action, and to devastating effect.

It was designed to defeat, once and for all, Fatah, the secular Palestinian nationalist party that talked peace with Israel. And it worked with lightning speed in a fratricidal three-day war in which at least 116 people died.

Inside the security headquarters, Abu Fadi, a Fatah intelligence officer, could hear what was happening to his colleagues. Their masked attackers had sprinted in, heedless of casualties. Their doors had been kicked down and they had been dragged outside, their arms flailing in gestures imploring mercy.

Then the black-masked gunmen bowed their heads to the dust in prayer and separated those of their foes who might live from those about to die.

The victims were killed immediately, some in front of their wives and children, said a Palestinian witness hiding in a building overlooking the scene.

The witness, who gave his name only as Amjad, got on the phone to a local reporter in Gaza and told him: “They are executing them one by one.” --- Times On Line

How will this out of control situation be contained by the moderate Arab states in the region? How can Israel be expected to contain itself if the Quassam rockets again begin to reign in on Israeli cities? How in fact could such rocket attacks NOT be considered an act of war between Palestine and Israel?

By the way... anyone hear from that useless of world organizations the U.N. lately?


by ZZ Staff | 6/16/2007 11:25:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Hamas Steals Nobel Peace Prize Heads Up eBay

Hamas has now finally gone and done it! They have stolen the Nobel "Peace" Prize from Arafat's home. All law abiding Palestinians now rise up and defend the honor of your once beloved of all peacemakers, Yassir Arafat. Do the world a favor and exterminate each other before you exterminate your Israeli neighbors.
Pajamas Media: Looters Raid Arafat's Home, Steal Nobel Peace Prize:: "The Jerusalem Post reports, “”They stole almost everything inside the house, including Arafat’s Nobel Peace Prize medal .. they stole all the widow’s clothes and shoes.” Israel Matzav asks, “How much would you pay for a Nobel Peace Prize on E-Bay?”"

by ZZ Staff | 6/16/2007 11:09:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Syrian Lebanese Gambit


--- [Hat Tip: C&F]
The U.S. and the West will continue to support Lebanon in it's fight to maintain a democratic state despite pressure from Syria. Assassinations not withstanding. President Bush _ a major Saniora ally _ condemned the bombing and pledged "the United States will continue to stand up for Lebanon, its people, and its legitimate government as they face these attacks."

Bush noted the victims of the spate of attacks "have always been those who sought an end to Syrian President (Bashar) Assad's interference in Lebanon's internal affairs."

BizHat.com Directory

by ZZ Staff | 6/16/2007 05:59:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Friday, June 15, 2007

New Bush Border Fence Plan

(WASHINGTON) — President George Bush, in an effort to address conservatives’ dual concerns about border security and the rule of law, today said the revived immigration reform bill would finish the U.S.-Mexico border fence by fining illegal aliens to pay for it and requiring each one to build a section of the fence with his own hands.

With the U.S.-Mexico border stretching more than 1,951 miles, and estimates that 20 million illegal aliens already inhabit the United States, President Bush said the measure would require each “currently undocumented future citizen” to build about six inches of fencing.

“I hope this will satisfy my friends on the other side of the Republican aisle,” said Mr. Bush. “They’ll get their border security while those who broke our laws to get here will pay a financial price and serve time in hard labor to do a job that we can’t afford to hire Americans to do.”

Conservative presidential candidate Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-CA, said he could support the new bill “as long as the illegal aliens building the fence face north when they do it, and head south when they’re done.” --- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace


That fact that our impotent leaders can't pass basic legislation on controlling legal and illegal immigration in Congress should be of major concern to all voters in 2008. It just underscores how vulnerable we are, not because of our open borders but because of the bi-partisan incompetence of our leadership in Washington to take action on virtually any threat until it's too late.

by ZZ Staff | 6/15/2007 09:17:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Add Kick Ass Flash Games to your Blog

Add arcade style flash games to your website or blog and encourage visitors to stick around your site! You can now download entire collections of arcade style flash games over at OpenWeb Digital Downloads. The game packs have been tested, categorized, packaged and made available for immediate digital download. You can find them over at OpenWeb Downloads and also over at PayLoadZ along with other software. Over 300+ flash games are available in several zipped downloads.

The Shooting Arcade game to the left is one typical example. You can demo them all over at the arcade site. Just register at the OpenWeb Downloads Arcade and check them out yourself and also have some fun at the same time! We have also loaded three of these games in our right margin to play and check out for yourself.

Each of the basic download packs for blogs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including its respective thumbnail (.gif) along with an instruction guide (.pdf) explaining how to configure them so your visitors can play them right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above. [Basic Game Inventory Listing (.pdf)] Special Packs are also available for vBulletin Arcades and Nuke Arcades which now also include install scripts for formal arcade sites. These games will run stand alone on your website, blog or off line on your PC or laptop.

You will need server FTP access. If you have access to a server what you do is simply upload all the files in the pack and then link to them in a post, or in a special area in your margin, (See our right margin as an example) or link to them anywhere else on your site that you choose similar to a picture file. If your server host (ISP) doesn't allow file uploading or you don't have access to an server, check out FileCrunch. Filecrunch provides a free file hosting option which anyone can use. Very sweet! Flash games right in your blog! This is an easy way to entertain your visitors and also get them to stick around and give them another reason to bookmark your site!



by ZZ Staff | 6/13/2007 11:42:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

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by ZZ Staff | 6/12/2007 08:13:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Israel and Palestine: Ready for Another Showdown?

Reports and images coming out of Gaza reflect flat out civil war brewing in Palestine between Hamas and Fatah while Israel voters prepare to come down hard on the Labour Party in Tel Aviv. This does not bode well for the peace process (aka the anhiliation process) as Benjamin Netahyahu's popularity has grown significantly mostly do to the inept Olmert administration. Mix this with the current ineptitued in Washington, London, the E.U. and the U.N. and there is a formula for disaster brewing on the horizon. Connect the dots....

Labour party votes for new leader able to tackle Netanyahu Israel and the MiddleEast: "Votes were cast yesterday to select a new leader for Israel's Labour party, in a run-off between the former prime minister Ehud Barak and the former security services chief Ami Ayalon. Opinion polls put both men in close competition, with Mr Barak edging slightly ahead. Results were due to be announced overnight.

Yesterday's vote, in which around 104,000 members were eligible to cast a ballot, was a second round run-off. Two weeks ago the party's current leader and the defence minister were defeated. Labour is the second largest party in the ruling coalition and both challengers have been critical of the prime minister, Ehud Olmert, leader of the Kadima party. However, most analysts agree that neither Mr Barak nor Mr Ayalon would pull Labour out of the coalition if they won, although both have hinted they might work to replace Mr Olmert with someone else from his party.
Mr Barak and Mr Ayalon will hope to take up the defence ministry if they win, but that may not be automatic. Reports have suggested Mr Olmert is reluctant to give the post to Mr Ayalon if he wins, and would rather make him finance minister. In the election campaign, Mr Barak has positioned himself among Labour supporters as the only politician in the party strong enough to beat Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of the opposition Likud party, who currently leads in opinion polls. He frequently emphasises his experience in politics: he was prime minister between 1999 and 2001 and, a highly-decorated army officer, he was head of the armed forces." -- More [Hat tip: The Guardian]

by ZZ Staff | 6/12/2007 07:50:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Sunday, June 10, 2007

New Poll Shows Paris Hilton Jailing Good for America

(Los Angeles) — An overwhelming majority of Americans say they’ve never felt better about themselves than during the past several weeks as they follow the story of Paris’ Hilton’s conviction and incarceration.

“It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” said one poll respondent, a resident of suburban Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. “Just knowing that rich, famous, beautiful people can be miserable, pathetic losers gives me hope that my own troubled existence may have meaning. I can’t get enough of this story on TV. Every moment is like a multivitamin for my ego.”

Indeed, some 87 percent of those polled said they relished feeling superior to someone who, according to cultural norms, should be considered superior to them. In brief, researchers say their findings show: “What’s bad for Paris Hilton is good for America.”

“The lower she sinks, the higher I soar,” said a unnamed dental hygienist from Eugene, Oregon. “You know, I just don’t feel so bad anymore about the stupid things I’ve done, or about my failure to achieve my dreams. It’s a comfort just knowing that despite all of her money, I’m a better person than Paris Hilton.”

The CBS News/New York Times survey also showed that, 58 percent of Americans were willing to see Ms. Hilton suffer further disgrace, prolonged imprisonment or even death for the good of the nation. --- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

by ZZ Staff | 6/10/2007 11:39:00 AM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Paris Hilton Cell Phone


by ZZ Staff | 6/10/2007 12:37:00 AM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Should Paris Hilton be Pardoned


by ZZ Staff | 6/10/2007 12:29:00 AM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Just Another TB Scare


by ZZ Staff | 6/07/2007 12:42:00 AM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Bush: Russia Better Ally Than Democrats

(2007-06-05) — President George Bush, on his way to the G-8 summit in Heiligendamm, Germany, attempted to reduce tensions with his Russian counterpart over a U.S.-planned Europe-based missile shield by telling reporters, “Russia’s not our enemy. Come to think of it, it’s a better ally than the Democrats right now.”

The president said the real enemies are “radical regimes armed with missiles, and those who would have us appease them through negotiation and concession.”

Mr. Bush said he continues to have a warm relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

“Right now, I’d rather be in Germany with Vladimir than in D.C. with Nancy and Harry,” he said, “If you know what I mean.”" --- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Lets hope that Putin and Bush can reach an understanding and regain some trust over the missile defense system. It would seem to make sense to make some real effort to work together with the Russians on the global war and not exacerbate the situation when we may need their assistance applying pressure on Iran. He will never be able to reach an understanding with Pelosi and Reid that's for certain.


by ZZ Staff | 6/05/2007 02:50:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Paris Hilton Mug Shot with Lip Gloss

Paris Hilton's mug shot... Sure to appear on tee shirts and coffee mugs everywhere.


"This is an important point in my life, and I need to take responsibility for my actions," Hilton said in a statement issued by her lawyer. "Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence." --- P. Hilton

Any doubt her publicity agents have the game plan all set for a follow up reality show?? Poor baby...

Authorities said Hilton would be treated like any other prisoner at the jail, which houses roughly 2,200 women. But she has been segregated from the general population in a "special-needs" unit designed for high-profile inmates.

The star of reality TV's "The Simple Life" will be confined to quarters 23 hours a day, with an hour each day outside her cell to stretch her legs, take a shower, use the telephone or watch television in a jailhouse day room.

It's a far cry from Hilton's last day of freedom, during which she attended the MTV Movie Awards in a black, strapless gown, posing on a red carpet before throngs of photographers. More...

by ZZ Staff | 6/04/2007 08:21:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Sunday, June 03, 2007

Murtha Takes Over For Cindy Sheehan as Moonbat of the Year


John Murtha
John Murtha (D-Pennsylvania) has now officially taken over for Cindy Sheehan as the loony tunes nut case for the far left. On ABC news today he blamed the JFK Airport terrorist plot on George Bush and America claiming that the Iraq police action was the cause of the plot. Once again, in true left wing style, Murtha reinforces the general liberal principle that the cause and source of evil is NEVER with the actual perpetrator. The following transcript is from ABC News "This Week". Using his logic, the U.S. should never defend itself against it's enemies, lest we might actually make them angry. Instead let's all put our heads in the sand and make believe that the bogey man will go away if only we pull all our troops out of Iraq. Once we do that we will surely be loved again by all and our shores will once again be safe. Just like we were loved on 9/10/2001 by the radical islamists, and loved during the first WTC bombing attempt. Let's be sure that we all follow in John Murtha's logic and regress to the days of fantasy and denial while continuing to delude ourselves that somehow Americans and GWB are to blame for every ill and evil that befalls this planet.
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, HOST: I want to get back to my first question, but let me pick up on something you said just there. You believe that these homegrown terrorist plots are being inspired by the U.S. work in Iraq right now?

JOHN MURTHA, CONGRESSMAN: Absolutely. George, they were inspired by them all over the world. Our presence in Iraq, our occupation in Iraq, gives these people the inspiration. Now, we didn’t have this problem before, they came from Afghanistan. But, now we even have it in the United States. So, I’m absolutely convinced that this is the kind of thing that inspires these people.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But we did have 9/11 before we went into Iraq.

MURTHA: Yeah, we had 9/11, but that came from Afghanistan. There was no, there was no al Qaeda in Iraq. We don’t even know how many al Qaeda are in Iraq right now. For instance, we think a couple of thousand. They’ll take care of al Qaeda. They’ll get rid of al Qaeda. Our presence is inspiring them to recruit people all over the world. This is the problem we have.
Here is another article referencing this most predictable response from the White House salivating Democrats on the successful disruption of this terrorist plot. Motto in Democratic politics: Never give ANY credit to the existing administration for anything, especially Homeland Security successes! Is there any doubt, should there be another tragic attack, what their now very well scripted response will be?

Here are a few facts that John Murtha seems to forget...
Never mind that FBI wiretaps caught Russell Defreitas, the lead suspect, complaining about Israel’s war with Hezbollah, not Iraq. Never mind that Gadahn went out of his way in his latest tape to deny that the war in Iraq plays any central role in jihadist grievances (”[L]et us be clear. A pull-out from Iraq alone in the absence of compliance with the remainder of our legitimate demands will get you nowhere and will not save you from our strikes.”). And never mind that the 9/11 plot which Murtha claims came “from Afghanistan” didn’t involve any actual people who were, you know, from Afghanistan.
--- [Hat Tip: News Busters]
What ever happened to American solidarity, unity of purpose and resolve which made this country great? Is getting into the White House worth the price of aiding and abetting your enemies?? Thanks to our leaders, Democrats fighting and bickering with the Republicans and visa versa, the enemy has now stepped up it's bloodshed this week because they are smelling victory with the assistance of the likes of you John Murtha and others calling for an immediate pullout. It will get worse not better from the pull out talk. They are counting on YOUR assistance John Murtha, and others like you, to influence the will of the American people to their advantage. They are betting on, and exploiting, every weakness of our two party system. Internal dissent, political infighting before, during, and after campaign season, and the incessant media coverage all the negativity is given.

It won't make a difference if we left Iraq tomorrow. They hate us, the way we live and they want us dead or converted to their hateful anti-Semetic, anti-Christian religion. Their biggest prize is causing death and destruction right here in the U.S. America is still waiting to hear what the OFFENSIVE plan will be against the world wide jihadist movement after we leave Iraq. Regardless of which party is in the White House. Will we be pulling out of Afghanistan next? Or are we to really believe, like John Murtha, that if only we would just leave and lick our wounds, and make nice like Jimmy Carter did back in the 70's, that all will be well again. We want UNITED LEADERSHIP not political rhetoric and infighting.

The blood of these troops this week are now also on YOUR HANDS oh fearless leaders of the belt way..... Republican and Democrat alike. Why? Because you guys can't get your act together except for tripping over each other to see who will get the next brass ring to the Oval Office. You sicken all of us...


by ZZ Staff | 6/03/2007 06:17:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Saturday, June 02, 2007

Wal Mart Acknowledges Effects of Global Warming

(Satire) International low-budget retail conglomerate Wal-Mart said today it has joined the ranks of environmentally-friendly businesses with the announcement of WMEERP!, the Wal-Mart Employee Emissions Reduction Program. A spokesman for Wal-Mart said the company, through the WMEERP! Effort, hopes to reduce employee emissions by "up to 60% over two years", resulting in a global reduction in annual greenhouse gas emissions by the company of nearly 300,000 tons.

"With WMEERP!, Wal-Mart will instantly rocket to world leadership in employee greenhouse gas emissions reductions," Pedo Pasar el Viento, a Wal-Mart spokesman, said. "Our low-impact, silent but deadly initiative trumps even IKEA. I'm reluctant to toot our own horn, but there's no denying the winds of change are blowing in our direction."

IKEA, along with many other major retail establishments including CostCo, Best Buy and DSG International, committed to reducing greenhouse gas emissions early this century. IKEA, a consistent leader in the process, became fully "carbon neutral" 69 years ago in 2020. Wal-Mart is the last of the major retailers to undertake a comprehensive greenhouse gas reduction initiative.

Scoreggiare Furz, WMEERP! manager, explained the program today during a press conference in Hershey, Pennsylvania announcing its launch:


Wal-Mart Methane Sealant
"Wal-Mart currently has over 3.7 million employees worldwide, each emitting up to a gallon of the dangerous greenhouse gas methane on a daily basis. That's nearly 15 million gallons a day, 5.4 billion gallons a year."

"Under WMEERP!, we aim to reduce that to as close to zero as possible by prohibiting any activity – either within or outside of the workplace – that could result in the passing of gas by any of our associates."

Wal-Mart first became aware of the major problem of global warming, Péter Merdeux, a Wal-Mart vice president for international product development, said, when its consequences began to exert an upward price pressure on sales.

"At Wal-Mart, cheap is everything," Mr. Merdeux said. "And that means cheap raw materials, cheap manufacturing, and cheap shipping to our superstores. We had no problems when the Southeast Asian seaboard was flooded to a level of only one or two feet – in fact, that made crop-dusting less of an issue – but once it got higher than that in the last couple of decades we started seeing the need for new, proactive measures.

"Most of our factory associates there – in the deltas, in Indonesia, Laos and so on – are what we term height-deprived. A lot of them grow out of that when they reach their teens, at least the ones who aren't too malnourished, but not fast enough to keep up with the rising waters. We realized that if we didn't do something soon, either we'd have to start hiring adults at much greater expense or move our manufacturing operations elsewhere. We chose WMEERP! as the path of least resistance." More....

This story is priceless. The butt plug (err... WMEERP) is said to be on back order due to a large undisclosed shipment to the D.C. area. You probably won't find them at your local Wal-Mart store no matter how hard you search. Investigators are fairly certain the order did originate from offices in the House of Representatives but they are not at all certain of their ultimate purpose and which one of the Committee Chairmen placed the backorder. --- [Hat Tip: Avant News / Ion Zwitter]



by ZZ Staff | 6/02/2007 10:00:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Pajamas Media: Semi-Sexual Equality Comes to Islam

Pajamas Media: Semi-Sexual Equality Comes to Islam:: "“In Gaza, Islamic Jihad plans to send waves of female suicide bombers into action against the Zionist Entity. Asked by an Israeli reporter whether self-detonating ladies enjoy the same 72-virgin deal as the lads, an Arab scholar explained that no, but the gals will be served in Paradise by “dwarfs.” Snow White got seven dwarfs, but it’s unclear whether Blow White will get the full 72: Sleepy, Grumpy, Bashful, etc, all the way down to Incendiary, Non-Alcoholic and Anti-Zionist.” — Mark Steyn"

by ZZ Staff | 6/02/2007 09:52:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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Jimmy Carter Calling the Kettle Black


We decided to search for and highlight some of the more pointed and interesting political cartoons on Jimmy Carter's foot in mouth comments last week. Jimmy Carter was not the sharpest tack in the draw either as far a Presidents go. Anyone who lived through the Carter era knows exactly what we are referring to. Hostage Crisis and botched rescue not withstanding! We felt the cartoon drawn here and the one below fully captures the sheer laughability of such a comment coming out of the mouth, of all people, Jimmy Carter! But as they say it takes one to know one.

by ZZ Staff | 6/02/2007 12:23:00 AM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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