Satire: Bush Offers to Jail Terror Suspects on Capitol Hill

Scott Ott, satirical reporter extraordinaire, scoops the main stream media with this report on the administration's new plan to gain the blessing from our nation's highest court. When confronted with the confounding problem of what to do with the prisoner's at Guantanamo, inside sources have learned that transfering them and holding them in confinement within the cloakrooms of Congress, may in fact result in the creation of a new interogation process that will is likely to be blessed by by Congress and the Supreme Court. With only a few days remaining in session, congressional leaders and the administration are burning the midnight oil to get the new legislation passed.


ScrappleFace::

(2006-09-07) — President George Bush, faced with concerns for the civil rights of 14 suspected high-level Islamic terrorists [PDF] who had been held secretly by the CIA, today altered his plan to house them at Guantanamo Bay pending military tribunals, and said instead they would be jailed in several cloak rooms on Capitol Hill.

“Our friends in Congress want to assure that these men get fair treatment like any U.S. citizen,” said Mr. Bush, “so we’re going to detain them where every member of Congress can easily observe their detention conditions and treatment.”

The President said his new proposal represents “a reasonable compromise with those who think the objective of the war on terror is to provide American rights and freedoms to the people who worked and planned to destroy America, along with our rights and freedoms.”

Democrats in the Senate immediately introduced a bill to provide funding for the ACLU to get the terror suspects released on bond. -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

He sure is one hairy MF isn't he?? These terrorists are one bunch of ugly bastards aren't they? Kind of makes your skin crawl. We sure hope those deep thinking politicians of ours in Congress can handle this new plan of GW's! The new plan should ensure that any captured terrorist have all the rights and privledges of any American citizen... not unlike those afforded to our captured troops and aid workers in the Middle East the past five years. Finally there is equity on the battlefront... live and die by the rules we always say.

Tags: satire, parody, ZZ News and Satire