Satire: Bush Veto Kills Hopes for Lawmaker Spinal Cure

Scott Ott takes apart the new swear them into submission strategy in this cleaver parody of the open mike snafu at the G8 summit.

ScrappleFace:

(2006-07-20) — President George Bush yesterday vetoed legislation that would have provided more taxpayer funding for embryonic stem cell research that is virtually guaranteed to cure cancer, make the lame walk, the blind see and, many believe, offers hope for curing a spinal malady that disproportionately afflicts lawmakers.

Even as the House failed to override the president’s first-ever veto, some Republican members of Congress displayed obvious symptoms of the condition that affects the central nervous system and vertebrae in ways that weaken the resolve, disable the moral compass, and cause its victims to bow under pressure.

“It’s a debilitating ailment,” said one unnamed GOP Senator, “and the president’s veto demonstrates that his compassion does not extend to those who suffer from this disease. It looks like Bush loves babies until they grow up to be Senators. Now, with the November elections looming, many of us are asking, ‘Where do I go to get my backbone back?’”

Tags: satire bush congress stem-cell, ZZ News and Satire