U.S. Airlines Offer Mecca Class Sections

This past week paranoia once again struck the friendly skies as passengers aboard a U.S. Airways flight in Minnesota on its way to Phoenix Az freaked out at the sight of Imams in prayer! The incident began when a passenger handed a note to a flight attendant, expressing concern about the imams, and the attendant delivered the note to the pilot.

After a long delay, members of the U.S. Marshals Service boarded the plane, escorted the men off, handcuffed them and forced them to stand silently for about 45 minutes before they were detained and questioned by the FBI for nearly six hours.

After long deliberations with the FAA, TSA, CIA and AAA, the U.S. Domestic Airline Consortium arrived at the obvious and brilliant solution... Mecca Class^™ ...

(WASHINGTON) — In the wake of a civil rights crisis sparked when culturally-insensitive passengers on a U.S. Airways flight Monday became alarmed at the sight of six praying Muslim Imams, a consortium of major airlines has agreed to set aside Muslim prayer sections on all domestic and international flights.

“From now on, we devote our former first class sections to the use of our faithful, peaceful Muslim customers,” said an unnamed airline industry spokesman. “Most of the time, when a group of Muslim men suddenly stands up on an airplane chanting ‘Allahu Akbar’, they’re simply praying. Although the memories of 9/11 are still fresh in the minds of many Americans, if we’re going to heal those wounds, we need to move beyond religious intolerance.”

Flight attendants will alter their safety instructions to inform passengers that “seat cushions can be used as prayer mats,” and pilots will make every effort to point planes toward Mecca five times each day.

The industry source added, “We ask our devoted Muslim customers only to remember that all domestic flights are non-smoking, and we’d like to keep them that way.”" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

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