Roe v. Wade Cited in Laura Bush Cancer Cover Up

(WASHINGTON) — First Lady Laura Bush, implicated in a scheme to cover-up news about surgery to remove a cancerous lesion from her shin, today cited the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling as legal precedent for her covert activities.

Mrs. Bush, under increasing pressure from reporters to explain why she didn’t hold a news conference to announce her impending medical procedure, said, “The Constitution, as interpreted in Roe v. Wade, guarantees a woman’s right to privacy regarding her own health.”

“It’s my body,” she added, “and I have the legal right to do with it as I please without notifying any authority.”

On a personal level, the First Lady said she had no regrets about removing and disposing of the squamous cell carcinoma.

“It was a parasitic bundle of cells,” said Mrs. Bush, “and allowing it to continue to grow would have interfered with my lifestyle.”" -- by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: sarcasm, satire, humor, bush, zz