San Francisco Mayor Seeks Presidency

(2007-02-06) — San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, who yesterday told staff he’s seeking treatment for alcoholism, deflected reporters’ questions about a potential presidential run in 2008.

“Just because I had an affair with a top aide’s wife, and I happen to be an alcoholic, doesn’t mean I aspire to higher office,” the mayor said in a written statement. “Drinking and adultery are just part of who I am, not some carefully-crafted image makeover designed to prepare me for a national campaign.”

Despite his denials, talk of a Newsom-Clinton ticket crackled along the Blackberry network and in the halls of the Democrat National Committee (DNC) yesterday.

“He’s playing coy right now,” said one unnamed DNC staffer. “But insiders know that his announcements in the past two weeks are tantamount to forming an exploratory committee.”

Mayor Newsom, who built his credibility in the local Democrat party as the owner of several wine and nightclub businesses, established himself as a national party icon by presiding over 3,955 homosexual “marriages” that were later struck down by the California Supreme Court which ruled that Mr. Newsom had violated state law.

“Clearly, Gavin Newsom’s star continues to rise,” the DNC source said. “He’s walking in the footsteps of the great ones, and making zero mistakes.” -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: sarcasm, satire, politics, zz