Peterson - A Man of Courage and Conviction [Satire]

ScrappleFace: "(2004-11-12) -- Just minutes after a California jury declared Scott Peterson guilty of the murders of his pregnant wife, Laci, and their unborn child, Conner, French President Jacques Chirac called Mr. Peterson 'a man of courage and conviction like the late Yassir Arafat.'

National Abortion Rights Action League Pro Choice America ordered flags in front of the nation's abortion clinics to be flown at half-staff 'to show the empathy and support of professional abortion providers for our amateur brother, Scott,' according to a NARAL news release.

'We feel Scott's pain,' said an unnamed NARAL spokesperson. 'And we ask all Americans to rally to the cause of this man who is being persecuted for his personal interpretation of the freedoms we have under Roe v. Wade. He has done little more than doctors at our women's health clinics nationwide do everyday, and yet he's treated as a criminal.'"

- Scott Ott