<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Bringing You The Latest In News Satire and Sarcasm...


Friday, March 31, 2006

Iranians Terrified by UN Resolution

Here is a sarcastic piece from Scott Ott regarding the impotence of the UN Security Council. Read and ponder...
(NEW YORK) — The United Nations Security Council yesterday passed a resolution calling on Iran to halt uranium enrichment by the end of April or face the looming specter of a “virtual mushroom cloud” of additional Security Council discussions and resolutions.

Iran immediately called the non-binding resolution “a terrifying deployment of words that threatens our women, our children and our peaceful way of life.”

The measure, which carries no consequences for non-compliance, nevertheless contains active verbs, challenging vocabulary and deliberate punctuation that pose a “clear and present danger” to the people of Iran, according to an unnamed spokesman for the Islamic Republic.

“The brutal thugs on the Security Council have us over a barrel,” the Iranian source said. “Our people are filled with fear. We are at the mercy of the United Nations.”

Holding one-tenth of the world’s known oil reserves and the second largest natural gas reserves, Iran desperately needs enriched uranium only to generate electricity, and not to make nuclear weapons to wipe Israel from the map." -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

We doubt Israel will sit idle waiting for the rest of the world to grow some balls to confront Iran's perverted ambitions of religious world domination. You can bet that the battle plans to disrupt their progress towards nuclear warhead manufacturing are already drawn up in Tel Aviv and Washington however!

Mr. Ahmadinejad's defiant rhetoric is based on a strategy known in Middle Eastern capitals as "waiting Bush out." "We are sure the U.S. will return to saner policies," says Manuchehr Motakki, Iran's new Foreign Minister.

Mr. Ahmadinejad believes that the world is heading for a clash of civilizations with the Middle East as the main battlefield. In that clash Iran will lead the Muslim world against the "Crusader-Zionist camp" led by America. Mr. Bush might have led the U.S. into "a brief moment of triumph." But the U.S. is a "sunset" (ofuli) power while Iran is a sunrise (tolu'ee) one and, once Mr. Bush is gone, a future president would admit defeat and order a retreat as all of Mr. Bush's predecessors have done since Jimmy Carter.

by ZZ Staff | 3/31/2006 09:32:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

ZZ OpenRing OpenWeb Downloads BlogExplosion Subscribe in NewsGator Online ...Blogging Services

More Satire and Sarcasm:


Subscribe with Bloglines


ZZ OpenWeb Downloads


Copyright© ZZ OpenWeb 2003-2008. All Rights Reserved - Creative Commons