ZardozZ News and Satire: Turkey Refuses Ceremonial White House Pardon Attacks President

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Turkey Refuses Ceremonial White House Pardon Attacks President

"Struggling to absorb his own abysmal approval ratings and the Republican party's landslide defeat in the midterm elections, George W. Bush took another shot to the gut today when both birds designated by Bush as the National Thanksgiving Turkeys, refused the president's ceremonial 'pardon.'

'Flyer' and 'Fryer' who hail from the Lynn Nutt farm in Monett, Missouri, were formally pardoned by Bush in a ceremony today at the White House, marking the 59th anniversary of the Thanksgiving tradition.

But both white-feathered birds made it clear that they would refuse the president's pardon, citing fundamental disagreements with Bush-administration policies and the legacy of last year's pardon recipients, 'Yam' and 'Marshmallow,' who broke new ground in the turkey community by spurning Bush in 2005.

'This wasn't an easy decision. I mean, hey, I used to be a Republican,' said a pugnacious Fryer in an interview on Tuesday evening. 'But this guy Bush being both a Chickenhawk and a lame duck is an insult to all birds. Even turkeys have standards.'" More...

Dubbya and the turkey "evil doers". A Brief History in Pictures...

The Commander-In-Chief in 2001... A foreshadowing of ominous events to come...

In 2002 the Secret Service keeps its distance, as the "Decider" moves in to interrogate the captured insurgent. GW approaches carefully. It's possible a Micro-Martydom™ vest may be hidden away under those feathers somewhere. Stay Alert, because "I'll be Back"!!

2003... Its a "kinder and gentler" GWB. (However we suspect the captured insurgent spent some in at Gitmo and was softened up, before the photo op. His head has turned blue from excessive water-boarding.)

Come 2004, Dick Cheney shows he is smart enough to keep his distance. (Shotgun not pictured in photo!)

Precious moments again in 2005 as Dubbya learns to become a dyed in the wool "Turkey Wisperer" and matches wits with the enemy in a desperate attempt at a Vulcan mind meld.

And like we said... In 2006 the Chief Executive has finally met his match. He has come full circle in this avian war on terror as the white feathered muhajadeen goes in for the kill in a symbolic gesture that seems to signal, "Isn't it "time to pull out" Mr. President?" Gobble Gobble...