The Bullshit Series: The Letter "G"

Catagory this Month: Corporate America
Some additional excerpts from the Dictionary of Bullshit...

going forward (catchphrase) Business language is gung-ho. Anybody not sharing the vision would soon feel icy winds blowing up their pants. "Going forward" as in "we're looking at this investment going forward" does not describe an investment that is improving. No, it just means "in the future". But time does not merely pass at the usual rate in corporate circles. Oh no, that would be too passive. Everything makes progress "going forward".

good at admin (adj. phrase) Forutunately there are tidy-minded people around who just get on with the work at hand. But there is also this strange notion that being good at "admin" is such a virtue that it does not matter if you have any knowledge of the formal content of the organization itself. For instance... Let's appoint this person to run our nuclear power plant because he was so good at the details (admin) in running his doughnut business.... Hence, "good at admin" managers — even at the CEO level — can parachute into companies about whose business they have almost immaculate ignorance. It may take a year or two before they leave with a large payoff (coined "golden parachute" in business circles - ed.) and a dying company in their wake. (Every senior executive secretly seeks their "golden parachute" - .ed)

granularity (n.) This technical word has acquired a genuinely mystifying dimension of bullshit. "Granularity" in reports seems to be about detail. Perhaps it is an antidote to generalization. Maybe the lack of it is techie code for "lazy".

We'll pull a few definitions every now and then based on a random letter of the alphabet... you can suggest others if you like...

Tags: humor, sarcasm, satire, bullshit, culture, zz