ZardozZ News and Satire: Terror Groups Offer Non Binding Ceasfire Resolution

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Terror Groups Offer Non Binding Ceasfire Resolution

by Scott Ott

(2007-02-17) — A coalition of major terror groups operating in Iraq today announced a symbolic, non-binding ceasefire in response to House Democrats’ passage of a non-binding resolution rejecting President George Bush’s troop surge plan.

Al Qaeda in Iraq, the Shiite Mahdi army and representatives of a Sunni car-bomb cartel said they would continue to fully fund martyrdom operations, with help from their friends in Iran, Syria and elsewhere.

An unnamed spokesman for the terror coalition said, “The non-binding ceasefire serves as a kind of imaginary turning point in the mythical pursuit of peace among those who have pledged their lives to the destruction of the U.S., Christianity, Judaism and Western civilization in general.”

U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, said the terrorists’ symbolic initiative “confirms that Democrats are on the right track with their strategy to end the war in Iraq through non-binding means.”

Meanwhile, the White House released a conciliatory statement from President George Bush in the wake of the Democrat-sponsored anti-surge resolution.

“Our friends in Congress continue to display the rich diversity of patriotism,” the president said. “Their actions demonstrate to all Americans that you, in fact, can support the troops while opposing the war, as long as you’re not too specific about whose troops you support.”

Mr. Bush also said the House vote “shows that it’s possible to pass a resolution without being overly resolute.”