ScrappleFace: FBI Uncovers Possible Cache of Unlabeled Kerry Plans
ScrappleFace: FBI Uncovers Possible Cache of Unlabeled Kerry Plans: "FBI Uncovers Possible Cache of Unlabeled Kerry Plans
(2004-10-09) -- The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) said today it has found what may be a cache of plans by John Forbes Kerry to address the crises in health care, the economy, Iraq and a host of other national traumas.
'We were called in on the case after the plans had gone missing through two presidential debates,' said an FBI spokesman. 'I have to caution you, however, that it may take several months or more to translate these documents and discover whether they are, in fact, plans. It's still up in the air because the file folders in which we found them had no labels. Apparently, Mr. Kerry doesn't like to label anything.'
A spokesman for the Kerry-Edwards campaign refused to comment directly on the FBI discovery.
'Sen. Kerry has said 'I have a plan' and we will leave it at that,' said the unnamed source. 'The FBI, at the direction of John Ashcroft, is on a fishing expedition to embarrass John Kerry just before the election.'
The source noted that 'when Martin Luther King Jr. said 'I have a dream' no one demanded that he prove it. Why should Sen. Kerry be held to higher standard?'"
(2004-10-09) -- The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) said today it has found what may be a cache of plans by John Forbes Kerry to address the crises in health care, the economy, Iraq and a host of other national traumas.
'We were called in on the case after the plans had gone missing through two presidential debates,' said an FBI spokesman. 'I have to caution you, however, that it may take several months or more to translate these documents and discover whether they are, in fact, plans. It's still up in the air because the file folders in which we found them had no labels. Apparently, Mr. Kerry doesn't like to label anything.'
A spokesman for the Kerry-Edwards campaign refused to comment directly on the FBI discovery.
'Sen. Kerry has said 'I have a plan' and we will leave it at that,' said the unnamed source. 'The FBI, at the direction of John Ashcroft, is on a fishing expedition to embarrass John Kerry just before the election.'
The source noted that 'when Martin Luther King Jr. said 'I have a dream' no one demanded that he prove it. Why should Sen. Kerry be held to higher standard?'"
|
...Blogging Services
⇐ Back to ZZ News & Satire