GOP Iraq Pull-Out Amendment to End War on AIDS

(2007-03-09) — Just a day after Democrats introduced a bill setting a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq, Republicans today plan to offer an amendment which would establish a timeline for U.S. retreat from the war on AIDS.

Former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan declared war on AIDS in 2001, but by 2003 he acknowledged that the world was losing the battle against the deadly foe.

“We’re spending billions of dollars,” said one unnamed House Republican, “while millions of young people are dying with no hope for victory in sight. It’s a hopeless quagmire.”

The GOP amendment calls for the U.S. to begin redeploying medical researchers from the field within 90 days, and sets August 31, 2008, as the deadline for turning over responsibility for halting the spread of HIV to the local communities where the contagion has flourished.

Since the Democrat Iraq pull-out timetable is attached to a bill that increases money for medical care for U.S. troops, Republicans said it’s appropriate to include their amendment effectively ending the global war on AIDS by cutting off billions in medical funding mostly bound for Africa."

“If Iraq’s political problems that spawn terror attacks can’t be solved with soldiers, guns and money,” the GOP lawmaker said, “neither can Africa’s moral problems that spread HIV be overcome with researchers, medicine and money.” -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: world news, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz