Iran Captures Sailors for Peaceful Purposes

(Satire) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said that his forces took 15 British sailors and marines as hostages for “peaceful purposes,” and that no other nation has the right to determine whether Iran can “develop and test kidnapping technology.”

Mr. Ahmadinejad also accused the British and U.S. governments, who have protested the incident, of “interfering with long-standing cultural traditions in the Islamic Republic of Iran.”

“We are a people who value the capture and detention of westerners,” said Mr. Ahmadinejad. “Our great Islamic revolution achieved world prominence more than 25 years ago when we held 52 Americans for 444 days. So hostage-taking is a sacred rite among us, and a solemn obligation.”

The Iranian leader added, “We do not expect narrow-minded godless monsters like Tony Blair and George Bush to understand our peaceful religious culture, but we insist that they respect it.” -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

What are your thoughts? Does Scott have it right? Are we headed for another conflict in the Middle East this time with Iran over this and their regional nuclear superiority ambitions? Will in fact the U.N. respect Iran's right to hone their hostage taking skills as Scott points out? Are apologies in order?

No doubt the British marines and sailors must have failed to steer clear of the plainly marked Iranian Naval War Games Kidnap/Hostage Test Range. Is the British Admiralty asleep at the switch? We are sure apologies are forthcoming. Rumor has it that British Tornadoes F3s have been loading stores of "forgivingness" leaflets to drop on Tehran in the coming days.

Tags: sarcasm, politics, parody, iran, zz