The Risk of Victory in Iraq

They say there are two sides to every story. ScrappleFace author Scott Ott shares his perspectives below regarding the political schizophrenia that has possessed Washington since the change in power in the House of Representatives. The onsite of the 2008 Presidential campaign has only added to the mass psychosis.

(2007-03-13) — The Democrat timeline for pulling U.S. troops from Iraq is designed to protect the United States against what House Speaker Nancy Pelosi calls “the threat and consequences of victory.”

The California lawmaker told reporters today that while Republicans focus on how the Democrat proposal undermines the troops and leads inevitably to defeat, “few have paused to consider the risk of victory.”

“A major triumph in the war on terror in Iraq would cause immeasurable political upheaval in the United States,” said Rep. Pelosi. “Unemployment would increase, especially among career politicians who opposed the president’s strategy. Countless millions of dollars would be wasted on doomed political campaigns.”

The Speaker noted that Democrats would be hardest hit by “the unfair distribution of misery” in the wake of a victory in Iraq. With Iraq as a U.S. ally, trade would increase between the two nations, Rep. Pelosi said, creating more competition in international markets a blow to domestic labor unions. Tourism to Iraqi resorts and historical sites would eventually draw travelers away from similar destinations in the U.S. and Europe, she said.

In addition, with the second-largest petroleum reserves in the world in the hands of a U.S. ally, fuel prices at the pump could plummet below $2 per gallon, threatening the livelihood of thousands of convenience store owners. Rep. Pelosi said the Bush administration have not even begun to consider the devastating impact on the self-esteem of Muslim fundamentalists should the Iraqi government ever become able to secure its own streets and borders.

Finally, Rep. Pelosi noted that if the Republican strategy for victory in Iraq succeeds, the United States will lose its best opportunity in a generation to inaugurate either a women, or an African American as president. -- as reported by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: parody, politics, sarcasm, zz