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Monday, May 02, 2005

UN Nuke Summit Seeks Enviro-Friendly WMD

ScrappleFace: UN Nuke Summit Seeks Enviro-Friendly WMD: "(2005-05-02) -- Delegates from 190 nations gather today at United Nations headquarters to review the effectiveness of the nuclear nonproliferation treaty (NTP), and to consider cleaner, more environmentally-friendly weapons of mass destruction.

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan, slated to give the opening address at the month-long conference, will call for an amendment to the treaty which would mandate a 50 percent reduction in radioactive emmissions from nuclear missile detonations by 2015, and 10 percent annual reduction after that.

'We need to look at alternative sources of human destruction that protect our sensitive biosphere, wetlands and endangered species,' said Mr. Annan in a preview of his speech. 'Just as bicycle riding can reduce deadly greenhouse gases, the world's nuclear superpowers need to consider more natural sources of human extermination.'

The Secretary-General said he is 'greatly encouraged by some of the recent work done in this field by researchers in Rwanda and the Sudan, where simple hand tools have been used to eliminate the populations of entire villages in rather short order.'

'The political and religious disputes were settled definitively, at least locally,' Mr. Annan said, 'and yet the pristine beauty of the evolving habitat was preserved. These Africans are pacesetters in the field of what bioethicists call green genocide.'" - Scott Ott
We are always interested in comments of the parodies of Scott Ott over at Scrappleface.

by ZZ Staff | 5/02/2005 02:51:00 PM | | Link | | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button AddThis Feed Button

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