Rats Cause Wall Street Stock Market Slide

When Wall Street stock traders learned that they have been eating rat turds for lunch along side their Starbucks and gourmet pannini sandwiches, there was an immediate dash for the exits at the exchange which some say was the real cause of this week's market sell off. Most of the floor traders learning of the following Reuters newsflash, turned their attention from the big board to matters much more pressing. Like setting up appointments for hepatitis B and bubonic plague vaccinations! Not even Maria Bartaromo's sexy smile or any amount of Alan Greenspan speak could have halted the events set in motion this week. The antics of these dirty nasty furry little night-watchmen of the "Big Apple's" finer eating establishments were caught right on camera preparing the next day's lunch surprises for an unsuspecting public...

New York may never win its war on rats:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Video of rats scampering across a New York City restaurant floor may have disturbed viewers worldwide but some experts say the rodents are less dangerous than other creatures drawn to restaurants -- humans. The video broadcast on television a week ago showed rats running wild at a KFC/Taco Bell restaurant just one day after the outlet had passed a city Health Department inspection. It took a bite out of the share price of parent company Yum Brands Inc. and forced a city Health Department shake-up that removed the inspector who conducted the review from duty and led to 13 more restaurant closures on Thursday. The owner of the KFC/Taco Bell franchise, ADF Companies, has closed 10 of its restaurants until they pass inspections, and the city closed three other restaurants because of unsanitary conditions or mice, the Health Department said. Yum Brands on Friday hired an urban pest control expert to review standards at its New York City restaurants. The Health Department warned that greater threats to public health include restaurant employees who fail to wash their hands or food stored at improper temperatures. One epidemiologist agreed. "I would worry much more about poor hygiene on the part of employees of a restaurant than mice or rats living in the basement," said Philip Alcabes, a professor at New York's Hunter College School of Health Sciences. "If you were to ask me would I eat in a restaurant where there were rats, I would say I probably already do."... More [Hat Tip: Daniel Trotta / Reuters]

The spectator narration in the background is priceless!!

Tags: sarcasm, satire, rats, NYC, wall street, New York City, KFC, Taco Bell, zz