Acting Presidential Powers Returned to Bush by Cheney

(WASHINGTON) — Following several hours as “acting president” of the U.S., Dick Cheney voluntarily relinquished the title back to George Bush yesterday when the latter emerged from sedation after a colonoscopy.

Administration spokesman Tony Snow said the White House functioned normally during Mr. Bush’s procedure, and that having the vice president officially at the helm may have even increased executive branch efficiency by “cutting out the middle man.”

The vice president said he was glad to get back to his regular job of “running the country” and away from the added stress of both “giving orders to, and taking orders from, myself.” -- as reported by satirical reporter Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Most Americans by now know that the President has had several polyps removed from his colon during a routine colonoscopy. For several hours, Vice President Cheney, was steady at the helm as the President's bowels were invaded by physicians. It's good to hear that the President now has his acting powers restored!