Supreme Court Suggests Roe v. Wade to Regulate U.S. CO2 Production

Scott postulates an approach that may be considered by the EPA as a way to reduce carbon emissions in this recent satire during his coverage of the High Court this week.

(Washington D.C.) — The Supreme Court yesterday ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) must regulate carbon dioxide emissions and suggested using the court’s 1973 Roe v. Wade precedent to reduce the number of “renewable CO2 emission sources.”

“Since each human produces almost a ton of carbon dioxide per year,” the high court said, “reducing the number of exhalers provides the greatest opportunity to make immediate cuts in the gross CO2 content of the atmosphere.”

Justice John Paul Stevens, writing for the 5-4 majority, said greenhouse gas production could be cut even further if “a woman’s so-called right to choose were legally elevated to an enforceable patriotic obligation.” --- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

With the super supreme justices recently weighing in on matters involving CO2 production, auto emissions and the EPA, Scott's observations highlight one of the great paradoxes that is the Supreme Court. To paraphrase one of the great philosophers of our time, F. Gump,... "The Supreme Court is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get."

Tags: parody, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz