Hillary Dismisses French Election Parallels

(Satire - Washington DC) — White House hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, today announced that the results of the French presidential elections were an “isolated incident,” with no discernible parallels to the 2008 U.S. presidential race.

French conservative Nicolas Sarkozy, an avowed admirer of America, decisively defeated socialist Segolene Royal by promising to cut taxes and government spending, shrink government subsidies, reduce the power of labor unions, tighten immigration policy, crack down on lawbreakers and “give greater value to work, to authority, to respect, to merit.”

His defeated leftist opponent, Ms. Royal, had promised tax-funded government solutions to the “malaise” of France, and would have been the nation’s first female president.

Sen. Clinton, asked by reporters if the French outcome bodes well or ill for her presidential prospects, said, “I fail to see the connection or any kind of trend. It’s an isolated incident. Most Americans can’t even speak French. End of story.”" -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace