Moderate Republicans Urge Bush to Surrender

(SATIRE) — A group of moderate Republican House members, led by Rep. Charlie Dent, R-PA, met privately with President George Bush in the White House yesterday to urge him to “press on to victory, no matter the cost.”

According to Rep. Dent, the lawmakers encouraged the president to “put aside concerns about his own plunging personal popularity and do the right thing by getting out of Iraq so that we can get re-elected in our home districts.”

The 11 progressive Republicans, in a remarkably blunt conversation, told the president that “some things are worth fighting for, and that history will judge whether Mr. Bush stood up for the innocent and defenseless whose very Congressional seats hang in the balance.”

“It takes courage to walk away from a quagmire in order to protect the letter ‘R’ that appears next each of our names,” said Rep. Dent. “But great men must set aside their personal desires to serve the greater good.”

--- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace