Flag Burning!

Gates' Gives to Tackle Disease

Give credit where credit is due. Bill Gates foundation makes a major contribution to the fight against HIV. Makes me feel that some of my hard earned money that has gone to Mister Softee had a higher purpose.

(London) "British scientists have been awarded multi-million pound grants for research into tuberculosis, malaria and HIV by Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates.

Mr Gates is donating £240m to 43 projects world-wide designed to tackle some of the world's biggest killers.

Among the successful bidders is London's Imperial College, which will receive £11m to fund work on TB.

St George's Medical School in London will get £10.7m to develop a HIV vaccine for women.


It's shocking how little research is directed toward the diseases of the world's poorest countries
Bill Gates

Two teams at Oxford University have been awarded grants.

One will be given £9m to investigate why some people appear to be more resistant to malaria than others, and a second will be given £5.4m to investigate vaccines for HIV, TB and malaria" More...

US Bans Commandments in Courtrooms

"The US Supreme Court has ruled against the display of the Ten Commandments inside two Kentucky courtrooms.

Judges had been asked to decide whether such displays were merely a tribute to American history or an unconstitutional break with the church-state separation.

But the court upheld the presence of a monument featuring the Ten Commandments outside a government building in Texas.

Conservative Christian campaigners and secular groups have conducted a heated debate on the commandment issue.

Judges ruled against the display of framed copies of the Commandments by five votes to four.

Speaking for the court majority, Justice David Souter cited the 'predominantly religious purpose' of such displays."

Iran Hardliner Hails Victory

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Iran hardliner hails poll victory: "Iran's new hardline President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has said his surprise poll win is a blow to the country's enemies.

His comments appear to be directed at the US, which had criticised the presidential election as flawed.

In his first public statement since his victory, Mr Ahmadinejad said he wanted to 'build up an exemplary, developed and powerful Islamic society'.

The mayor of Tehran won 62% of the vote, nearly twice that of his rival, ex-President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani.

Some 22 million people voted in Friday's run-off poll - a turnout of 60%, down from 63% in the first round a week ago.

The BBC's Frances Harrison in Tehran says conservatives are now in control of every elected and unelected institution of government in Iran." More...

With the "election" candidates stacked and filled with Islamic Fundamentalists, the so called Iranian "election" begins to set the stage for what is certain to be a show down between the US and Iran. Left unchecked, is there any doubt that this new government will be developing nuclear weapons?? We suspect that the Israeli government will watch closely to see if the EU backs off it's recent pressure on Iran to disclose it's nuclear ambitions. Watch for unilateral actions from Israel if that happens, sparking a potential major outbreak of war in the Middle East with ramifications around the globe. No we are not clarivoyant, just weighing probabilites given the politcal makeup at the present time.

Bush to Negotiate with Zarqawi on Troop Pullout

Scott Ott publishes sarcastic piece pointing to the frustrations of fighting a war against a "hidden" underground enemy.

ScrappleFace: Bush to Negotiate with Zarqawi on Troop Pullout: "Bush to Negotiate with Zarqawi on Troop Pullout
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-25) -- In a surprising change of heart, President George Bush today called on al-Qaeda deputy Abu Musab al-Zarqawi to 'come to the table' to negotiate the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq.

Although the president had been steadfast in asserting that he had no timetable for quitting Iraq and that freedom and democracy would prevail, today's statement was tantamount to an admission of defeat.

'We gave it the old college try,' said Mr. Bush, in a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jafaari. 'But our opponents in the Democrat party were right. It's a quagmire. We can't beat the insurgents, and our shameless treatment of prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo have killed any chance we had at winning hearts and minds on the Arab street.'

Mr. Bush said he would dispatch a U.S. envoy to the al-Qaeda embassy in Baghdad with an invitation to Mr. Zarqawi to come to Camp David and work out terms of peace, and the withdrawal timetable.

'I kind of hoped that Iraq's 25 million people would experience the blessings of freedom,' Mr. Bush said, 'but with mid-term elections coming up here in the states, Republicans need to show the American people that we're as sensitive to media polling data as our Democrat opponents.'

Upon hearing the news of the Bush-Zarqawi peace talks, Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, immediately filed papers forming a 2008 presidential exploratory committee." - Scott Ott / ScrappleFace (Satire)

Iran Forges It's Way Backward

CTV.ca | Iran hardliner calls for unity after election win: "The ultraconservative mayor of Tehran called for national unity after winning Iran's presidential election, saying he seeks to make his country a 'modern, advanced, powerful, and Islamic' model for the world.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's taped statement, which was broadcast Saturday on state-run radio, appeared aimed at easing concerns about his conservative views.

Reformers say he will undo years of liberal progress, taking the country back to the restrictions imposed after the 1979 Islamic Revolution."

Property Wrongs

Superme Court ruled in favor of developers over homeowners when it comes to property rights and the "greater social good". Paving the way for evictions all in the name of progress and the greater good.

Lawyers Want Case Thown Out for "Disrespecting Koran" !

This story goes hand in hand with the one below. The difference is, this is NOT satire (for the un-initiated).

Lawyers for 2 in 'dirty bomb' terror case allege misconduct at jail: South Florida Sun-Sentinel: "MIAMI -- Attorneys for two terrorism suspects tied to an alleged al-Qaida dirty bomb suspect are asking for the dismissal of a federal indictment against them based on a jailer's mishandling of a Quran and intimidating jail cell searches that removed handwritten papers in Arabic.

The defense claims the seizures from the cells of Adhan Amin Hassoun and Kifah Wael Jayyousi in May and June amount to government misconduct and an unconstitutional intrusion on trial preparation.

Jailers also disrespectfully tossed Hassoun's Quran on his bunk and left 8,000 pages of trial papers in disarray, his attorney Kenneth Swartz said in motions filed Friday.

Hassoun, a Lebanese-born Palestinian, and Jayyousi, a Jordanian national and U.S. citizen, face possible life prison sentences on charges of plotting to fund and support Islamic jihad through murder and kidnappings abroad, including Bosnia, Chechnya and Somalia." More...

What are your thoughts? Should this case be thrown out because a Koran was thrown on a bed? Would you all sleep better at night if our judicial system did that?

Gitmo Horror Could Spark Muslim Brutality

And from the pen of Scott Ott... more brilliant satire on the juxtaposition of Gitmo "human rights" violations and the the human rights violations of the peaceful and so wrongfully misunderstood insurgents - excuse me - freedom fighters.

Clinton: Gitmo Horror Could Spark Muslim Brutality
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-20) -- Former President Bill Clinton today said that if the scandal-plagued terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo Bay isn't 'cleaned up or closed down' then insurgents in Iraq may resort to killing Iraqis, and could even begin attacking U.S. troops.

'If the United States gets a reputation in the Muslim world of mistreating terrorist prisoners,' said Mr. Clinton, 'It could unleash what sociologists call 'the righteous brutality of the oppressed' among the normally-peaceful followers of Islam.'

The former president said the backlash could include, 'bombings, kidnappings and even beheadings. That's the kind of future we may face unless we atone for the sins of Gitmo.'"

Yes let's atone and take a cat of nine tail to our backs over Gitmo. (Please, I hope you folks can still spot satire when you see it. I still get email from a nut who can't tell the difference.)

Mary Carey Does Washington

You may have caught some of this "news worthy" story over the weekend. Excerpt from About Political Humor. Yes I agree --- Political Humor is more than an understatement.

Mary Carey Does D.C.: "Porn star Mary Carey says she's now a fully converted Republican after hobnobbing with GOP bigwigs at a fundraiser hosted by President Bush. The former California gubernatorial candidate and star of such films as 'Dual Airbags' and 'Some Like 'em Big' was disappointed, however, that she didn't get an opportunity to press the flesh with the president.

'I was told that they had people ready to tackle me if I tried to, you know, get up close to him,' Carey told MSNBC's Keith Olbermann. 'And they were worried about me maybe flashing or streaking through the dinner. And I mean, I can't believe they'd think I would do that. I'm a serious politician.'

Following is an excerpt from Keith Olbermann's amusing interview with Mary Carey:

CAREY: 'I really wanted to meet President Bush, though, like, you know, up close and personal. I was kind of disappointed.

OLBERMANN: And that never'that was never even close, that. (Guess what part of her anatomy he was refering to.) (See insert)

CAREY: No, they actually'I was told that they had people ready to tackle me if I tried to, you know, get up close to him. And they were worried about me maybe flashing or streaking through the dinner. And I mean, I can't believe they'd think I would do that. I'm a serious politician. I would never want to, you know, jeopardize my, you know, future career like that." More...

I love this line, which I did hear come from her own mouth on MSMBC... "I had a great time. You know, Republicans can party almost as much as porn stars ...So I want to keep going to Republican events. I‘m a fully converted Republican now. - Mary Carey ".

Washington politics. You gotta love it when you are not hating it!

Happy Father's Day

Dems Block Bolton, Citing 'Sesame Street Memo'

Dems Block Bolton, Citing 'Sesame Street Memo'
by Scott Ott

(2006-06-17) -- Another newly-released secret memo has forced Democrats to continue to filibuster the confirmation of John Bolton as U.N. Ambassador, according to Rep. John Conyers, D-MI, who will hold unofficial hearings about the memo.

Just days after The Sunday Times of London published the so-called 'Downing Street Memo' which reveals the opinions of a source known as 'C' (reportedly Richard Dearlove, the head of British intelligence), the Washington Post said it will print a document it called the 'Sesame Street Memo' which is 'brought to you by the letter 'B' and by the number '9'.'

Post reporter Bob Woodward broke the story of the existence of the Sesame Street memo, which recounts a conversation between the unnamed 'B-9' and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, referred to in the memo as 'Oscar'.

'The important thing about both the Sesame Street and Downing Street memos,' said Mr. Woodward, 'Is that each provides a catchy, shorthand phrase for referring to vague, unsubstantiated charges in a way that sounds fresh.'" - Scott Ott

Stay tuned to Sesame Street as the saga continues within that august body known as the US Senate -- has anyone spotted Sen. B. Byrd lately without his respirator?

H. Clinton wins S.C. Straw Poll

(South Carolina) "Richland County Democrats held the nation’s first straw poll for the 2008 presidential race Wednesday and the surprise winner was U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York.

“We’re simply delighted,” said Bob Kunst, president of Hillarynow.com, who is traveling the country promoting Clinton’s candidacy.

“This should help us in our effort. It gives us a nice boost.”

Clinton’s victory at the sparesely attended event was a mild upset. Former U.S. Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, a native South Carolinian and last year’s Democratic vice presidential candidate, had been considered the favorite.

Clinton got 44 votes to 34 for Edwards. Virginia Gov. John Warner came in third with 32 votes and U.S. Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware got 24 votes.

Everyone else scored in the single digits." More...

It's never to early to have a poll 3.5 years before an election! It will be another interesting democratic primary without a doubt. Wonder if we will be seeing Reverend Al again and Kookie Kucinich?

3rd Quake Off Calif Coast

"(YUCAIPA, Calif.) (AP) - A moderate earthquake shook most of Southern California Thursday, but there were no immediate reports of damage or injuries. The 1:53 p.m. quake had a preliminary magnitude of 5.3 and was centered three miles northeast of Yucaipa in San Bernardino County east of Los Angeles, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.

Shaking was reported from Los Angeles to San Diego and in counties to the east.

'We just had a few items falling, that's all,' said Andrea Cabrera, an employee at the Walgreens drug store in Yucaipa. 'The customers were just stunned, and they just stood there.'" More...

Enough to put folks along all the quake prone fault lines on edge this weekend.

Beat It !

Michael Jackson, Not Guilty

Far fetched? What do you think ?

Tyson Throws in the Towel - Maybe for Good

(WASHINGTON - AP) -- Mike Tyson's career may have ended in a shocker Saturday night when he quit on the stool after taking a beating in a foul-filled sixth round against unheralded Kevin McBride.

Tyson lost for the third time in his last four fights, and once again he faded badly as the rounds went on before head butting McBride in a desperate attempt to end the fight in the sixth round.

Tyson was pushed to the canvas when the round ended, his head stuck between the first and second ropes. He got up very slowly, wobbled back to his corner and sat on his stool.

When referee Joe Cortez came by to look at him, his corner told Cortez the fighter could not continue. Cortez then went over and raised McBride's hand in victory.

The 38-year-old Tyson was a huge favorite over McBride and won the early rounds. But as the fight went on, it was McBride landing the bigger punches as Tyson desperately tried to score a knockout." More...

Tonight's humiliating loss may truly be the end of Mike Tyson's fighting career. Failing to answer the bell against a tall flabby white dude which looked like another set up fight to give him new life on the circuit, backfired with a stunning loss. Will we see Tyson on the talk show circuit downplaying this loss? Or can we expect merely more bizzare behavior in the ring in response to this upset?

Foot in Mouth Disease

Dr. Dean has been diagnosed with a relapse of the same illness that may have plaqued him during the Democratic primary. The CDC warns however that it is not contagious unless you have previously been exposed to bright light close to the wavelength of the type used by main-stream TV news crews. - zzb

GOP Senators Shocked: Judge Brown is Black

GOP Senators Shocked: Judge Brown is Black
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-09) -- Republican Senators, who yesterday confirmed President Bush's appointment of Judge Janice Rogers Brown to the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, today expressed shock at learning that the California Supreme Court justice is black.

The revelation comes in same week that Democrat party Chairman Dr. Howard Dean released his research showing that Republicans, and especially their leaders, 'all look the same' because they're 'white Christians'.

'I'm concerned about how this is going to play with the white base,' said an unnamed Republican Senator upon learning of Judge Brown's non-mainstream race. 'I feel betrayed by President Bush, who has now managed to sneak a number of non-whites, not to mention women, into high-ranking government positions. The White House tricked us into focusing on the accomplishments of nominees, distracting us from the key genetic and theological markers that Dr. Dean has identified as determining factors of Republicanism.'

The source claimed that Republican Senators were unaware of the racial and ethnic status of Cabinet members including Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierez, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao, Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta, HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson and Secretaries of State Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice.

'Now that we've seen the photos,' the anonymous source added, 'it seems that not even half of the Bush Cabinet members are white males, and some of those may not even be Christians. The president has secretly assembled a virtual rainbow coalition right under our noses.'" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Remember our prediction, Howard Dean will not last as DNC Chairman till Christmas. He has "foot in mouth" disease of biblical proportions. The Democrate vs. Democrate infighting has already begun in the mass media. Sen Clinton, meanwhile sits on the sidelines biding her time staying out of the fray and listening to advice from Bill on portraying a more moderate image. Hmmm... that must be the strategy! Howard gives Hillary a benchmark to highlight the "moderate" image she hopes to project. One can only wonder as to what the DNC leadership would see in Howard Dean -- other than the fact that he was able to raise more money than his competitors during the Democratic primaries. It sure isn't his "inclusiveness" or his moderate points of view!

Dean: Dem Poll Workers Can't Tell GOP Voters Apart

"Dean: Dem Poll Workers Can't Tell GOP Voters Apart
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-08) -- Many Republicans probably voted for George Bush dozens, if not hundreds, of times in 2004, according to Democrat party Chairman Howard Dean, 'by taking advantage of the fact that Democrat poll workers have difficulty distinguishing individuals from among a crowd of white Christians.'

'Thanks to their pale skin, round eyes and khaki trousers, Republicans just blend in,' said Mr. Dean. 'So they vote, get in the back of the line and vote again. And because they've never made an honest living in their lives, they could do that all day long.'

The party chief announced that the Democrat National Committee will invest $50 million in developing protocols to help poll workers tell the difference between one Republican and the next.

A spokesman for the DNC later clarified the comments, noting that, 'Chairman Dean intended his offensive remarks to be heard only by party loyalists, not the general public.'" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Scott writes for ScrappleFace, a satrical website focusing on political satire.

"Psy"-Crowe: A Contender in Cuffs

(New York) Actor Russell Crowe was arrested and charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon in New York on Monday after throwing a telephone at a hotel employee.

The Oscar-winner, 41, who was in New York to promote his new movie "Cinderella Man," got into an argument with the unidentified Mercer Hotel employee at around 4:20 a.m. Crowe was upset because he couldn't get a line out of the hotel to call his wife actress Danielle Spencer in Australia, according to police.

The injured employee was taken to St. Vincent's Hospital, where he received stitches to treat a laceration to his face.

Crowe, who plays a boxer in "Cinderella Man," later released on his own recognizance after being taken in handcuffs to his arraignment at Manhattan Criminal Court.

Robin Baum, Crowe's publicist, said he had thrown the phone at a wall and did not assault anyone.

"After asking the front desk several times to replace a faulty phone in his room — and getting only attitude from the clerk on duty — Crowe brought the phone down to the front desk in an effort to address the situation in person. Words were exchanged, and Crowe wound up throwing the phone against the wall. He regrets that he lost his temper, but at no time did he assault anyone or touch any hotel employee," Robin Baum said in a statement. More...

Iranian Leaders Claim U.S. is Weakening

(TEHRAN) -- Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution Ayatollah Seyyed Ali Khamenei on Saturday described U.S. movements in the region as passive positions adopted in response to the awakening of Muslim nations.

In a speech at a mourning ceremony marking the 16th anniversary of the death of the late Imam Khomeini, the founder of the Islamic Republic, Ayatollah Khamenei stated that Imam Khomeini made a significant contribution to efforts to weaken U.S. dominance over the region.

He said Imam Khomeini's success in establishing the Islamic Republic in Iran and initiating the awakening movement among Muslim nations had led the United States to take actions to rein in this movement through passive positions.

The U.S. military presence around Iran may appear to indicate its power, but a careful analysis of developments in the region shows that the U.S. has taken passive positions against the Islamic awakening movement, he added." More...

In your dreams...

No European Union

Follow the French? The rest of Europe needs to have it's head examined! The EU is gasping for air.... the Euro will begin to collapse. To have ONE European constitution would mean ONE European gov't then ONE currency. Fat chance. We werre amazed that this idea lasted as long as it did. Leave it to the French to piss on the idea. - zzb

Gitmo Study Sparks Arab Probe of Bible Abuse

"Gitmo Study Sparks Arab Probe of Bible Abuse
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-04) -- Friday's release of a Pentagon study on mishandling of the Koran at Guantanamo Bay detention center has sparked Saudi Arabia's leader to call for similar probes of Bible handling in detention facilities throughout the Muslim world.

Since May, the Pentagon has examined thousands of pages of documentation, finding five confirmed cases of Koran mishandling by U.S. personnel, and 15 cases in which Muslim prisoners desecrated their own complimentary copies of the book that they had received from the U.S. government. The Pentagon has distributed some 1,600 taxpayer-funded copies of the Muslim Holy Book to suspected terrorists detained at Gitmo.

Saudi leader King Fahd today, called on his fellow monarchs and dictators throughout the Arab world to complete a full review of any complaints about mishandling of holy scriptures which Muslim governments have distributed to their Christian and Jewish prisoners.

'I feel confident that this probe will reveal no cases of Muslim or Arab guards abusing Bibles issued by Muslim governments,' said the King. 'But in the spirit of respect for religious freedom and pluralism, we will examine our own policies and procedures and make a full, public report within 30 days.'" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace (Satire)

Do you think for a minute the parody above might ever happen in reality? Mullahs investigating the desecration of the Bible or the Torah? Do you think the passage, "In the spirit of respect for religious freedom and pluralism" will ever exist within a religious-geopolitical movement that condones beheadings, murder and terrorism? Why the U.S. effort of bending over backwards not to "insult", while the enemy stands cowardly behind this book and it's teachings to justify it's cowardly acts? Oh sorry, I forgot, we are winning the hearts and minds of Islam. That's why we investigate, expose and prosecute. Why don't we see the mullahs attempting to win the hearts and minds of Christians and Jews? Nothing like the U.S. and the rest of the World being held to a higher standard and then having that standard exploited by the enemy through the stupidity of our mass media. Wake up World!!

ZZ OpenWeb Adds Features [ Sticky Post till 6/4 ]

(USA|ZZNS) We have expanded our feature set over at the ZZ OpenWeb! We have now added a self contained flash based arcade gaming module just for our registered members! Now you can cross post and expand the traffic directed to your blog/site and also have some fun while you are logged in!! Using both ZZ OpenWeb and OpenRing together, along with any of your favorite Blog Traffic surfing systems as listed at the bottom of this post, does wonders for your traffic flow!

Detainees not Soldiers Flushed Quran

CNN Story... They get this one right unlike Newsweek who's editors have their heads, not the Quran, in the porcelain bowl. Detainees were alegedly trained to set up guards to desecrate the quran knowing it would spark a public outcry in the muslim community. Our media better get it's collective act together and stop aiding and abetting the enemy.

CNN.com - Detainees, not soldiers, flushed Quran - Jun 4, 2005: "The Hood report cited three separate incidents in which detainees tried to flush the Quran down the toilet.

In one incident, on February 23, 2004, the report said a guard saw a 'detainee place two Qurans in his toilet and state he no longer cared about the Quran or his religion.

Five minutes later, after the detainee retrieved the Qurans, he ripped several pages out of one Quran and threw the pages on the floor. Then, he placed both Qurans on the sink.'

Another time, on January 19, 2005, a detainee 'tore up his Quran and tried to flush it down the toilet. Four guards witnessed the incident,' the report said.

The report also cited 12 other incidents by detainees, including one who used his Quran as a pillow, another who urinated on his holy book and several who ripped pages from the Quran." More...

The Counterterrorism Blog: Al Zarqawi Death Rumor

Keep an eye on this rumor over the next 48 hours...!! It would not surprise us to turn out confirmed in a few days.

The Counterterrorism Blog: Al Zarqawi death rumor (UPDATED): "Bill Roggio tells me that the AKI (Adnkronos International) site reports that AZ is dead. I had just finished a MSNBC interview, and they have picked that up but won't run it without more solid info. As I posted below, AKI quoted an Iraqi general about AZ's injury on May 11. UPDATE: The new AKI story says, 'The Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi - al-Qaeda's leader in Iraq - died on Friday and his body is in Fallujah's cemetary, an Iraqi Sunni sheikh, Ammar Abdel Rahim Nasir, has told the Saudi on-line newspaper Al-Medina. He claims that gunfights which broke out in Fallujah in the last few days involved militants trying to protect the insurgency leader's tomb from a group of American soldiers patrolling the area. During a telephone conversation from the city of Fallujah with the Saudi newspaper, Nasir said al-Zarqawi was taken there after being injured in the city of Ramadi around three weeks ago, and may have been treated by two doctors who had worked with his aides in Baghdad. He said the two doctors had stopped a serious haemorrhage in al-Zarqawi's intestines, but that after his condition worsened last week, the militant died on Friday.' UPDATE 2: Contributing Expert Evan Kohlmann, currently on travel, e-mailed me to say that AZ and Al Qaeda officially denied the story - will post a link to that site as soon as possible.

Posted by Andrew Cochran at 12:48 PM "

Jackson Lawyer Finishes Closing Arguments

(SANTA MARIA, Calif.) Jun 3, 2005 — The family accusing Michael Jackson of child molestation is trying to pull off 'the biggest con of their careers,' Jackson's attorney told jurors Friday as he wrapped up his closing argument.

Attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr. finished his two-day closing hours after Jackson again visited a hospital for undisclosed reasons. Jackson made it to court, and the case, which could land him in prison for years if convicted, was expected to go to the jury by day's end.

'Ladies and gentlemen, it only takes one lie under oath to throw this case out of court,' Mesereau told the panel of eight women and four men. 'You can't count all the lies under oath by (the accuser's family). How many does it take to let you know this case is a fraud?'" More...

Jackson left the courtroom today looking like he saw a ghost!! Pale white face even paler than usual! We'd recommend his family should have him on a suicide watch! He looked like he was going to pass out from fear as he waled out of the courthouse. A vast contrast to his first day dancing on top of the hood of an SUV !!!

Missing Alabama Teen's Mother Seeks Help

(ORANJESTAD, Aruba) - The mother of missing Alabama teenager Natalee Holloway requested more help from the United States in a massive search as police and volunteers in Aruba combed beaches and scrubland for a fifth consecutive day Friday on the Dutch Caribbean island.

Holloway's family wants the Dutch government to officially ask the U.S. government for more direct help in the search for the 18-year-old blonde, her mother Beth Holloway Twitty told reporters in a hotel conference room, reading from a brief written statement.

Aruba police and Dutch military are leading the search with assistance from FBI agents, who are playing a supportive role.

'We all have a common goal to find Natalee so we can bring her home,' the mother said, thanking officials, volunteers and residents. She choked up as she finished the statement and left the room in tears.

Holloway came to Aruba for a five-day excursion with 124 seniors and 40 chaperones from Mountain Brook High School, near Birmingham. The students came down on a commercial flight while the chaperones came in on a private jet, said airport ground handler Albert Groeneveldt, 22." More...

Cheney / Rice Apology to N. Korean Leader

Scott Ott makes it a point to emphasis our willingness to be congenial with the North Korean leader in the following column today...

Satire (2005-06-03) -- In an extraordinary joint news conference today, Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Under Secretary of State John Bolton apologized to North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il and pleaded with him to restart negotiations over his nuclear weapons program.

Mr. Kim demanded the apology as a condition for resuming six-nation talks after Mr. Bolton called him a 'tyrannical dictator,' Mr. Cheney said he was 'one of the world's most irresponsible leaders' and Secretary Rice labeled him a 'dangerous person.'

Today, Mr. Cheney noted, 'Upon reflection, I'm sorry that I called Kim Jong-Il 'one of the world's most irresponsible leaders'. The fact is that he's really in a class by himself and I think he's totally responsible for making North Korea what it is today.'

Secretary Rice echoed the vice president's contrition and said, 'I regret referring to Mr. Kim as 'a dangerous person'. I should have gathered more evidence and documentation before casually using the word 'person'. I'm so sorry.'

Mr. Bolton, who awaits Senate confirmation of his appointment as U.N. Ambassador, fought back tears as he said, 'The first thing I'll do when I get to the U.N. is visit the ambassador from the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, so I can tell him exactly how I feel about his Dear Leader. If I have to, I'll chase him down the hall and shout out my heartfelt grief.'

Meanwhile, Kim Jong-Il today announced plans to stem the starvation of his nation's 22 million citizens by feeding them byproducts of the nuclear weapons manufacturing process. North Korean stores immediately began selling the first such food item, a fun snack called 'Lil' Kim's Yellow Cake Zingers.' - Scott Ott / ScrappleFace More...

Saudis Outraged At Women Driving Proposal

(RIYADH, Saudi Arabia) - He just wanted his colleagues in the government’s legislative arm to discuss the possibility of conducting a study into the feasibility of reversing the ban on women drivers — the only prohibition of its kind in the world.

But Consultative Council member Mohammad al-Zulfa’s proposal has unleashed a storm in this conservative country [“Conservative?” That’s one word for it. “Medieval” is another. —ed.] where the subject of women drivers remains taboo.

Al-Zulfa’s cell phone now constantly rings with furious Saudis accusing him of encouraging women to commit the double sins of discarding their veils and mixing with men. He gets phone text messages calling on Allah to freeze his blood. Chat rooms bristle with insulting accusations that al-Zulfa is “driven by carnal instincts with 454 horsepower.”

There even have been calls to kick al-Zulfa from the council and strip him of his Saudi nationality.

The uproar may be astounding to outsiders. But in Saudi Arabia, where the religious establishment has the upper hand in defining women’s freedoms, the issue touches on the kingdom’s strict Islamic lifestyle.

Conservatives, who believe women should be shielded from strange men, say driving will allow a woman to leave home whenever she pleases and go wherever she wishes. Some say it will present her with opportunities to violate Islamic law, such as exposing her eyes while driving or interacting with strange men, like police officers or mechanics.

“Driving by women leads to evil,” Munir al-Shahrani wrote in a letter to the editor of the Al-Watan daily. “Can you imagine what it will be like if her car broke down? She would have to seek help from men.”" More...

Com'on you must have some comments on this story!!