Borat Takes Heat for Pam Anderson's Break-Up

(TORONTO) Borat Sagdiyev is learning a lesson many celebrities have learned before him: with superstardom comes trouble. The fake Kazakh documentarian,
the brainchild of British comic Sacha Baron Cohen, has faced a litany of
accusations since "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit
Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan'' hit theatres earlier this month to become one of
the top-grossing films of the year. And now he's been cited as the reason
behind Hollywood's latest high-profile split: the New York Post reported Tuesday
that Canada's own Pamela Anderson is divorcing Kid Rock because of his angry
reaction to her scripted part in the film. More...

Kid Rock being dumped by Pamela Anderson because of his angry reaction to her scripted part in Borat film? Canadian alternative media have been running this story today. Frankly, we wonder if Pamela's decision was driven by much more than "unfullfied desires" of approval from her new hubbie regarding her latest film debut. We suspect something else was lacking in the relationship.

Giving Peace a Chance

From CNN: 13,000 Palestinian security forces maintain cease-fire

Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas on Sunday ordered 13,000 security forces to deploy near the border to enforce a cease-fire agreement with Israel, sources in Abbas' office told CNN.

The move came hours after Palestinian militants in Gaza apparently launched nearly a dozen rockets toward Israel.

Abbas also called on the Palestinian factions who previously negotiated the cease-fire to meet again to ensure the agreement holds, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert told reporters Sunday.

The Israeli leader said his country will not take immediate action in the wake of the violations.

"Israel is a powerful country that can allow itself to show restraint and to give the cease-fire a chance to be fully implemented," Olmert said.

Hamas' militant wing and the Islamic Jihad militant group claimed responsibility for firing several rockets into Israel after the cease-fire took effect at 6 a.m. (11 p.m. ET Sunday).

In its leaflet, Islamic Jihad said it will "hold our right for resistance as long as Israel continues its aggression."

[HatTip: C&F] The words "Cease Fire" and "Peace" have nothing at all in common with the agenda unfolding between Israel and it's surrounding neighbors. In a word... its almost laughable if it wasn't so tragic. Who can possibly take it seriously? Kofi Annan?

Tags: political-cartoons, politics, world-news, terrorism, israel, middle-east, zz

Sony PlayStation 3 Sparks Iraq Insurgency

Unconfirmed sources have linked the New Sony Play Station 3 to a surge in deadly violence. From the safety of the Camp David Holiday retreat President George W. Bush blasted Sony for the increasing body count linked to the new Play Station 3's botched holiday launch. The President went of to demand that Sony take responsibility. "The death toll is staggering and the American people are demanding a new policy and new leadership." In a statement released by Sony Japan, the maker of the Plays Station 3, expressed remorse at the tragic lose of human life. "Sony is shocked by the unfolding horrors but we feel the blame lies with George W. Bush and his failed Iraqi war policy. The Sony corporation can not be blamed for the wave of deadly sectarian violence unleashed in Iraq by the Bush administrations misadventure..."

With the situation in Iraq increasing unstable The Bush administration has turned to blaming others for the crisis. According to Juan Cole , noted middle East expert, The Bush administration has blamed Democrats, Iran, Syria, Osama Bin Laden and now the Sony Play station 3. After her middle east trip US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice linked the rise in violence to the launch of the Play Station 3 system. More...

[Satire] HatTip: Powering Satire: Sometimes we have to add this information because believe it or not some folks just can't comprehend the concept of satire. -- ed.

In deference to the deep philosophies presented in the new RFK movie, Bobby, it’s worth taking a look at Bush’s overall guiding philosophy:

Some men see things as they are and ask why?... I see things as they are and ask why not make them more fucked up? -- Dubbya

Tags: satire, sarcasm, politics, bush, zz

Why Does Bush Act So Macho?

What do these folks know that the rest of us don't? (Thank God!)

Tags: satire, sarcasm, bush, zz

Bush the Decider

New parody of "Bush, The Decider" that we all know and love. Hope you will enjoy. [HatTip: Mark Fiore]

Tags: political-cartoons, parody, politics, sarcasm, satire, bush, zz

Turkey Refuses Ceremonial White House Pardon Attacks President

"Struggling to absorb his own abysmal approval ratings and the Republican party's landslide defeat in the midterm elections, George W. Bush took another shot to the gut today when both birds designated by Bush as the National Thanksgiving Turkeys, refused the president's ceremonial 'pardon.'

'Flyer' and 'Fryer' who hail from the Lynn Nutt farm in Monett, Missouri, were formally pardoned by Bush in a ceremony today at the White House, marking the 59th anniversary of the Thanksgiving tradition.

But both white-feathered birds made it clear that they would refuse the president's pardon, citing fundamental disagreements with Bush-administration policies and the legacy of last year's pardon recipients, 'Yam' and 'Marshmallow,' who broke new ground in the turkey community by spurning Bush in 2005.

'This wasn't an easy decision. I mean, hey, I used to be a Republican,' said a pugnacious Fryer in an interview on Tuesday evening. 'But this guy Bush being both a Chickenhawk and a lame duck is an insult to all birds. Even turkeys have standards.'" More...

Dubbya and the turkey "evil doers". A Brief History in Pictures...

The Commander-In-Chief in 2001... A foreshadowing of ominous events to come...



In 2002 the Secret Service keeps its distance, as the "Decider" moves in to interrogate the captured insurgent. GW approaches carefully. It's possible a Micro-Martydom™ vest may be hidden away under those feathers somewhere. Stay Alert, because "I'll be Back"!!



2003... Its a "kinder and gentler" GWB. (However we suspect the captured insurgent spent some in at Gitmo and was softened up, before the photo op. His head has turned blue from excessive water-boarding.)



Come 2004, Dick Cheney shows he is smart enough to keep his distance. (Shotgun not pictured in photo!)



Precious moments again in 2005 as Dubbya learns to become a dyed in the wool "Turkey Wisperer" and matches wits with the enemy in a desperate attempt at a Vulcan mind meld.



And like we said... In 2006 the Chief Executive has finally met his match. He has come full circle in this avian war on terror as the white feathered muhajadeen goes in for the kill in a symbolic gesture that seems to signal, "Isn't it "time to pull out" Mr. President?" Gobble Gobble...



Any kind words for the First Lady on this fine Thanksgiving weekend?

Tags: sarcasm, satire, politics, parody, zz

U.S. Troops to Pull Out of Lebanon

(WASHINGTON) — A day after the assassination of Lebanese Christian politician Pierre Gemayel, Democrats in the U.S. Congress called on President George Bush to pull U.S. troops out of Lebanon as a way of ending the strife that threatens to descend into civil war.

“As everyone knows,” said Rep. Jack Murtha, D-PA, a former Marine, “the American military is the cause of terrorism and sectarian tensions around the world. We can’t win in Lebanon, so we need to begin a phased redeployment immediately.”

Sen. John Kerry, D-MA, a professional Vietnam veteran, said, “There’s no reason that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Lebanese people in the dead of night terrorizing kids and children and women, breaking historical customs, religious customs. Lebanese soldiers should be doing that.”

The former Democrat presidential nominee added, “if American young people would study hard, do their homework and make an effort to be smart, they wouldn’t get stuck in Lebanon.”

House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, said the recent U.S. elections in which Democrats swept to a majority in the House and Senate, “were a mandate from the voters to get out of Lebanon and liberate those people from the oppression of the U.S. occupation that causes them to act out like this.”

Asked when the president would submit to the will of the people and pull the military from Lebanon, an unnamed White House spokesman said, “1984.”

In related news, Iran and Syria today offered to mediate the crisis by holding a summit meeting with the president of Lebanon and Hezbollah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah to discuss ways of preventing foreigners and Muslim fanatics from upsetting Lebanon’s natural state of peace and security." -- as reported by satirical columnist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: satire, sarcasm, politics, parody, world-news, terrorism, zz

U.S. Airlines Offer Mecca Class Sections

This past week paranoia once again struck the friendly skies as passengers aboard a U.S. Airways flight in Minnesota on its way to Phoenix Az freaked out at the sight of Imams in prayer! The incident began when a passenger handed a note to a flight attendant, expressing concern about the imams, and the attendant delivered the note to the pilot.

After a long delay, members of the U.S. Marshals Service boarded the plane, escorted the men off, handcuffed them and forced them to stand silently for about 45 minutes before they were detained and questioned by the FBI for nearly six hours.

After long deliberations with the FAA, TSA, CIA and AAA, the U.S. Domestic Airline Consortium arrived at the obvious and brilliant solution... Mecca Class^™ ...

(WASHINGTON) — In the wake of a civil rights crisis sparked when culturally-insensitive passengers on a U.S. Airways flight Monday became alarmed at the sight of six praying Muslim Imams, a consortium of major airlines has agreed to set aside Muslim prayer sections on all domestic and international flights.

“From now on, we devote our former first class sections to the use of our faithful, peaceful Muslim customers,” said an unnamed airline industry spokesman. “Most of the time, when a group of Muslim men suddenly stands up on an airplane chanting ‘Allahu Akbar’, they’re simply praying. Although the memories of 9/11 are still fresh in the minds of many Americans, if we’re going to heal those wounds, we need to move beyond religious intolerance.”

Flight attendants will alter their safety instructions to inform passengers that “seat cushions can be used as prayer mats,” and pilots will make every effort to point planes toward Mecca five times each day.

The industry source added, “We ask our devoted Muslim customers only to remember that all domestic flights are non-smoking, and we’d like to keep them that way.”" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: satire, sarcasm, politics, parody, zz

The Changing of the Ties

...With Democrats poised to assume control of Congress in January, Bush has substituted his charged campaign rhetoric with promises to cooperate in hopes of retaining legislative influence during the final two years of his presidency.

Major differences remain. Although Bush will contend with a Congress controlled by Democrats for the first time in his presidency, he has asked for passage of legislation authorizing wiretapping of phone calls of terrorism suspects. He has also sought confirmation of John Bolton as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Many Democrats oppose the eavesdropping program and Bolton.

During the White House meeting, Reid made a pitch for the president to convene a bipartisan summit to devise a new policy for bringing stability to Iraq. The president listened but did not commit to such a summit, said Jim Manley, a spokesman for Reid.

In brief remarks to reporters after the meeting, Durbin noted the ties that Bush and Cheney wore.

"I do want to say thanks personally to the president and vice president for their conciliatory gesture by wearing blue ties today," he said.

Bush said, "I was hoping you would notice, senator." -- Washington Post / Sat Nov. 11th

Limerick For Bush's Brain

An ode to an oaf... or ... Bush's Brain on "Rove" ... pick your poison

read more | digg story

Tags: parody, sarcasm, zz

Democratic National Draft

Ironically the likelihood of a national draft has increased with the recent change of power in the House and Senate. Rep. Charles Rangel, D-NY, has often stated on the record that he would support a national military draft. Why? Well one rationale indicates that an all volunteer army is made up of the sons and daughters of disproportionately poor families. A National Draft would level the playing field in Congressman Rangel's view. Scott Ott provides us with a different point of view:


ScrappleFace:

"(2006-11-20) — Rep. Charles Rangel, D-NY, yesterday unveiled the Democrat plan for boosting the minimum wage, providing free healthcare to millions more Americans, increasing college attendance, reducing greenhouse gas emissions and preventing future U.S. wars of aggression.

“Our plan is so simple and elegant that it can be stated in one word — draft,” said Rep. Rangel. “By implementing a military draft, we’ll provide a living wage and free healthcare to our new involuntary soldiers and their families, plus we’ll give them college money after their term of service.”

The New York Democrat, who has proposed a draft several times before, said taking many of the 18-to-26 year-olds off the nation’s highways will decrease the number of automobile fatalities and drastically reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

The most crucial element of the Draft America Plan, he said, is creation of a huge military force comprised of less-motivated troops in case the president must decide whether to go to war with North Korea or Iran, or to expand the global war on terror in other lands.

“Right now, it’s the skill and passion of our all-volunteer force that gives George Bush the arrogance to challenge our enemies on their soil,” Rep. Rangel said. “With a military full of reluctant conscripts, Bush won’t be so cocky. We’ll be safer because, as we all know, when American troops stay home fewer terrorists are created.”" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: sarcasm, satire, politics, parody, zz

V3 Arcade Flash Games for Your Blog

Looking to add Flash Games to your website? You can find a full collection of arcade flash games which have been tested, packaged and available for immediate digital download over at OpenWeb Downloads in their Emporium Downloads section. They have over 290+ games there included in three convenient zip bundled digital downloads. Here is an example.... Shooting Arcade . You can also play them in advance in their Arcade just register at the OpenWeb Portal.

Each of the zipped download packs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including their respective thumbnails (.gif) along with an instruction guide (in .pdf format) on how to configure them so your visitors can play the games right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above.

The games can be configured manually if you are using vBulletin. Everyone else, if you have access to an FTP server via your ISP, you can upload the files and link to them in a post or anywhere else on your site just like an image .gif or .jpg file! If your ISP doesn't allow server access, the games can be played stand alone on your PC or laptop!! Spice up your blog today !!

Tags: flash, flash-games, games, ZZ

OJ: "If I Did It"

Boycott ALL OF THE ABOVE...!!!

Company Naming: Does Bigger Equal Better?

Strategic Name Development Product Naming Blog: "Muara Teweh points out the following today on her Education Information blog:

US Airways“If US Airways succeeds in buying Delta Air Lines, the giant that would emerge would retain the Delta name and be the largest airline in the country, with annual revenues of about $28 billion and service to 350 cities on five continents.”

Her blog post elegantly points out that in the airline business, bigger is not always better for either passengers or staff. In fact, there is much glumness out there about the merger. The Airline Bulletin has an interesting post up today entitled The Messy Mechanics of the US Airways-Delta Merger.

DeltaIn short, there is a fear that this will create an “East Coast powerhouse” that will force higher fares and employee lay-offs. US Airways and America West Airlines pilot groups picketed in Charlotte and Phoenix against the creation of a juggernaut company that some are saying will be the world’s “largest bankrupt airline.”" ...More at Strategic Name Development !!

Tags: world-news, business, zz

Germans teaching Afghan police wrong stuff

Observing Herman posts a satricial look in our community blog regarding the effects of the German police trainers on the people of Afghanistan. Observing Herman...!! Go for it !!

The SpyGlass Chronicle:

Military and defense experts in Afghanistan have severely criticized German police trainers for failing to effectively teach the Afghan police force how to properly provide security for the local population and concentrating on showing them how to set up speed traps instead.

“This will never do,” said one fact-finding official in the middle of nowhere who had just been handed a speeding ticket from two grinning Afghan policemen who had suddenly jumped out from behind a badly rusted Soviet-era tank on the roadside just a few moments before. More...

Tags: culture, world news, politics

Merger to Create World’s Largest Bankrupt Airline

Well if you travel a lot, this story will should give you pause. Although it might be a sarcastic perspective about the bankrupt eating the bankrupt, it is not all that far from the truth. If you fly often on business like I do, you will understand Scott's point of view here !!

(2006-11-16) — If the U.S. Airways buyout of Delta receives regulatory approval, industry experts said it would make the resulting company the largest of the world’s bankrupt airlines and a strong candidate for a future government bailout.

U.S. Airways yesterday announced it would offer Delta’s creditors $8 billion in stock, cereal boxtops and S&H Green Stamps and would name the merged firm Delta Airlines, which the source called, “one of the most recognizable brand names in the non-profit airline industry.”

“The synergies are incredible,” said an unnamed spokesman for U.S. Airways, “There’s a lot of overlap in areas of incompetence, customer dissatisfaction, mismanagement and hubris. Thanks to economies of scale, together we can achieve new levels of mediocrity.”

The source assured investors that the new Delta Airlines stock would make “an excellent tax write off, and a great way to add balance to your portfolio of growth stocks.”" -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

The reality is that there are virtually no synergies at all. US Airways flys a fleet primarily of Airbus A-series aircraft while Delta is mostly a Boeing fleet!! Go figure! The recent announcement of a U.S. Airways - Delta buyout is just one more blatent example that leads us to believe that airline executives are all smoking dope these days, climbing in bed with each other to protect their golden parachutes. Hey guys! What happened to the U.S. Airways - United merger?

Drowning Sorrows

Top GOP Losers Reconsider Suicide PAC

They are lined up ready with razors in hand and Blue Oyster Cult playing in the background...

Top GOP Losers Reconsider Suicide PAC - Politics - Avant News: "Leading Republican senators who had formed a Suicide PAC prior to the 2006 midterm elections are now reconsidering their positions, beltway sources report. The unusual political action committee was designed to ensure members' reelections by codifying a formal 'loss provision', under which PAC members vowed to commit suicide in the event of failure at the ballot box. Despite widespread interest in the Suicide PAC marked by record-breaking contributions from committed Republicans to the failed GOP juggernaut, some PAC members are now expressing second thoughts about the vow.

'I'd be lying if I said the election went the way I thought it would go,' Senator Rick Santorum, a founding Suicide PAC member who lost his 2006 reelection bid to Democratic candidate Bob Casey, Jr. in a landslide, said. 'With 20-20 hindsight, vowing to commit suicide if I lost may not have been the most rational or Christian thing to do, even though it really helped open the funding spigots. I'm going to have to think about this.'

The Suicide PAC, officially known as Death Or Honor! (DOH!) was formed by Senators Rick Santorum (R-PA), George Allen (R-VA), James Talent (R-MO), Mike DeWine (R-OH), Conrad Burns (R-MT) and Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL) in late 2005, at a time when the GOP was deemed invincible in the Senate by nearly all political analysts. " More...LOL...

Fly Paper for Flu Virus

The SpyGlass Chronicle:

A surface coated in spiky polymer molecules destroys the flu virus at a touch, according to a new report. The experimental substance, which can be applied like paint, might complement other germ control methods used in public spaces such as hospitals and airplanes, the developers say. Some experts, however, dispute its potential value for taming flu. Chemist Alexander Klibanov of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and his colleagues had already found that the bristly coating of polymers kills bacteria including Escherichia coli and Staphylococcus aureus, which can lie in wait on doorknobs or other surfaces for unsuspecting hands to pick up.

Tags: health, flu, polymer

Plutonium Found in Iran by IAEA

Democrats may have their first real test coming up very soon as this breaking story unfolds...

IAEA finds traces of plutonium in Iran :

VIENNA, Austria - New traces of plutonium and enriched uranium — potential material for atomic warheads — have been found in a nuclear waste facility in
Iran, a revelation that came Tuesday as the Iranian president boasted his country's nuclear fuel program will soon be completed.

The International Atomic Energy Agency report detailing the discovery also faulted Tehran for not cooperating with the U.N. watchdog's attempts to investigate other suspicious aspects of Iran's nuclear program.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, in a two-hour news conference in Tehran, asserted the world has no choice but to "live with a nuclear Iran," although he conceded his country was "still in the first stages" of its uranium enrichment program.

So far, Tehran has been able to activate only two small experimental pilot enrichment plants that U.N. officials say have frequently broken down and have produced only small amounts of material suitable for nuclear fuel. More... Breaking...

In addition there are reports coming in from Reuters that are sure to turn up the heat on the Iranian nuclear enrichment problem. It will be very interesting to see what position will be taken by the newly chosen U.S. Congress as Tehran continues to thumb it's nose at the world. Folks in Tel Aviv should feel VERY nervous...

VIENNA (Reuters) - U.N. inspectors have found traces of plutonium, of possible use in atom bombs, at an Iranian nuclear waste site as Tehran pursues a nuclear program despite the risk of sanctions, an IAEA report said on Tuesday.

The International Atomic Energy Agency report, obtained by Reuters, also said the U.N. watchdog still could not confirm Iran's nuclear intentions were entirely peaceful given its continued stonewalling of IAEA inquiries dating to 2003.

IAEA inspectors detected bits of plutonium in samples of particles of highly enriched uranium (HEU) taken earlier from containers at the Karaj atomic waste facility near Tehran. In larger amounts, plutonium and HEU can detonate atom bombs. -- More from Reuters

Oops... Just how did that plutonium get in there? Gee officer, someone must have put it there when we weren't looking. It's a set up by the West !!

Tags: middle-east, iran, world-news, zz

Presidential Support for Hillary 2008

Iran Warns Israel

BBC NEWS: "Iran's foreign ministry spokesman has warned Tehran will not hesitate to retaliate with a crushing blow if Israel attacks its nuclear sites.

This follows comments by Israel's deputy defence minister Ephraim Sneh.

He had suggested Israel could launch military strikes against Iranian nuclear installations as a last resort.

Mohammed Ali Hosseini said if Israel indulged in such stupidity, then the response of Iranian fighters would be emphatic, crushing and immediate.

Mr Hosseini said it would not take one second.

Earlier, Mr Sneh had said he was not advocating a military attack, but considered it a last resort and he added sometimes the last resort was the only resort.

Also on the nuclear issue, Iran's Foreign Ministry reiterated the country's policy of trying to have 3,000 centrifuge machines operational by March next year in order to enrich uranium." More...

Democratic Pressure Cooker

LA Times:

WASHINGTON -- After toppling the long-dominant Republicans in a hard-fought election, the Democratic Party's incoming congressional leaders have immediately found themselves in another difficult struggle — with their own supporters.

Some of the very activists who helped restore the Democrats to a majority in the House and Senate last week are claiming credit for the victories and demanding their due: a set of ambitious — and politically provocative — actions on gun control, abortion, national security and other issues that party leaders fear could alienate moderate voters and leave Democrats vulnerable to GOP attacks as big spenders or soft on terrorism.

The conflict underscores the challenge facing presumed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco and Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, the next Senate majority leader, who have both pledged in recent days to "govern from the center," after a campaign in which anger over the Iraq war and GOP scandals helped Democrats attract some unusually conservative candidates and a large share of independent voters.

Tags: bush, congress, politics

A Doctor's Visit

One of our subscribers sent this in... [Hat tip: Megit33]

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a shit?"

Nuff said!

Borat Sued by Glod

Borat film 'tricked' poor village actors: "When Sacha Baron Cohen wanted a village to represent the impoverished Kazakh home of his character Borat, he found the perfect place in Glod: a remote mountain outpost with no sewerage or running water and where locals eke out meagre livings peddling scrap iron or working patches of land.

-- Watch the trailer here

But now the villagers of this tiny, close-knit community have angrily accused the comedian of exploiting them, after discovering his new blockbuster film portrays them as a backward group of rapists, abortionists and prostitutes, who happily engage in casual incest.

They claim film-makers lied to them about the true nature of the project, which they believed would be a documentary about their hardship, rather than a comedy mocking their poverty and isolation."

Tags: comedy, film, zz

Audio Satire: Six Dead In West Point Pantie Raid

The long gray line audio of a pantie raid. Hear a new twist in satire from The Onion... Audio Satire.

read more | digg story

Tags: satire, the onion, zz

Adding Flash Games to Your Blog

If you want to add Flash Games to your website or blog you can find a full collection of arcade style flash games which have been tested, packaged and available for immediate digital download over at the OpenWeb in their Emporium Downloads section. They have over 290+ games included in three convenient zip bundled digital downloads. Here is an example.... Shooting Arcade .
Each of the zipped download packs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including their respective thumbnails (.gif) along with a helpful instruction guide (in .pdf format) on how to link them so your visitors can play the games right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above.

The games can be configured manually if you are using vBulletin. Everyone else, if you have access to an FTP server via your ISP you can upload and link to them in a post or anywhere else on your site just like an image .gif or .jpg file. If your ISP doesn't allow server access, the games can be played stand alone on your PC or laptop!! Spice up your blog !!

Tags: flash, flash-games, games, ZZ

Rumsfeld Resigns - Iraq is Liberated

(2006-11-09 -- Satire) — As news of the resignation of U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld filtered out through hundreds of newspapers, radio and TV stations in Iraq this week, Sunni and Shiite militias laid down their weapons and poured into the streets to celebrate the “new direction” in U.S. military policy.

“The day of our liberation is at hand,” said one young Iraqi who noted he had just “strapped up” with a suicide bomb vest and was about to go to a local playground, when he saw Mr. Rumsfeld resigning on CNN. “I threw the vest away and I’m going to the playground now to hand out candy to the children instead. I’m so excited about this new direction. What a relief!”

Shiite Muslim cleric Moktada al-Sadr immediately issued orders for his Mahdi army to surrender their guns and bomb-making supplies to the local Iraqi police station, or to “beat your swords into plowshares and other tools to rebuild our infrastructure and make Iraq a shining beacon of Islamic freedom.”

Elsewhere around Baghdad insurgents placed orange safety cones around hidden roadside bomb locations to prevent their accidental detonation until they could be defused. A spokesman for Al Qaeda in Iraq said its foreign staff would cease terror operations, but stay on as a kind of Peace Corps to help provide medical care, clean water and nutritious food to Iraq’s most needy.

Leading Sunni and Shiite clerics announced they would assemble at a trans-sectarian Friday prayer service in Sadr City’s al-Kumbaya Mosque to jointly call on the Iraqi faithful to set aside differences and “rise up and live out the true meaning of our peaceful Islamic creed.”

At the service a fatwa, or legal interpretation, will be issued declaring that those who perform acts of charity, rather than human carnage, will qualify for the fabled 72-virgin package in the afterlife.

“We have learned from President Bush and Speaker-elect Pelosi to seek common ground,” said one unnamed cleric. “With Rumsfeld gone, and the troops packing their bags, our nation can return to its natural stability, tranquility and harmony.” -- by satirist -- Scott Ott

Tags: satire, sarcasm, politics, parody, zz

Rumsfeld Resigns Tastefully

Dean Demanding Recount in Virginia

(2006-11-09 -- Satire) — As the Associated Press declared Democrat Jim Webb had unseated Sen. George Allen, R-VA, Democrat National Committee Chairman Howard Dean sent a team of lawyers to the Commonwealth of Virginia to investigate irregularities in several precincts, claims of fraud and the disenfranchisement of some Republican voters.

“When it comes down to about 7,000 votes in such a large state, it’s a no brainer to assume there was corruption there,” said Mr. Dean. “We’re hearing that this is a replay of Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004. Even though our guy won, and it would give Democrats the majority in the Senate, we’re committed to making sure he won legally.”

Although few Republicans have raised questions about the legality of the election, Mr. Dean said “it’s the principle of the thing that matters.”

“We plan to tie this up in court as long as possible,” the DNC chairman said, “until every vote is counted, because we believe every Republican voter counts.”" -- by satrist Scott Ott

Tags: satire, sarcasm, politics, parody, zz

Pelosi Declares Bush - Cheney Pardon Premature

(2006-11-09 -- Satire) At a post-luncheon news conference outside the White House today, Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, said talk of pardoning President George Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney was “premature.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” said Rep. Pelosi, who as House Speaker would stand third in the presidential succession line. “There are no specific charges or articles of impeachment at this point, and so it’s silly to speak of pardoning them.”

“Let’s not be too hasty for emotional closure,” the California Democrat added. “Our long national nightmare has only just begun.”" -- by satrist Scott Ott

Tags: parody, sarcasm, satire, zz

The Mid Term Election Botched Joke Comedy Hour

View an all star cast of the nations top political jokesters as they each take a shot on stage during a Mid-Term Election "Botched Joke" Comedy Hour. Animations by Mark Fiore. All your favorites are there, John Kerry, G. Dubya, Nancy Pelosi and vintage Dick Cheney. ROTFL.

One just can't underestimate the power of laughter. Watch and listen as they all try their hand at stealing the show to get some extra laughs out of the voters -- err -- audience.

Tags: political-cartoons, politics, sarcasm, satire, zz

Bush's Top 10 Positive Outcomes of Election

ScrappleFace::

(2006-11-08) — President George Bush, in an effort to lift the spirits of dejected Republicans after Democrats yesterday took the House and perhaps the Senate, this morning issued his Top Ten list of Positive Outcomes from the Election.

10. New York Times and CNN will carry much less negative news about Congress.
9. Rhode Island Republican Sen. Lincoln Chafee lost and Connecticut Democrat Sen. Joe Lieberman won, a net gain of two for the GOP.
8. We may finally get to see the Democrat plan for victory in Iraq.
7. Taxpayers will be relieved of the burden of making so many investment decisions.
6. Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum is now available for Supreme Court appointment.
5. Possible reduction in attacks on our troops in Iraq, since terrorists fear attorneys.
4. NSA agents could soon be freed from having to listen to annoying terrorist chatter.
3. Lynn Swann will be remembered as a great wide receiver during the Pittsburgh Steelers 1970s dynasty.
2. Since a lot of the polling places are in church buildings, millions of Democrats actually went to church yesterday.
1. C-Span could get a ratings boost for new reality show: Impeachment 2007

In addition, the president noted that “millions of American Democrats will sleep more peacefully now that they are assured that Karl Rove doesn’t control everything.” -- Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Tags: bush, congress, politics, parody, sarcasm, satire, zz