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Obama Health Care Plan Unveiled

Is he a new black Robin Hood? Superhero Barack Obama has recently come out in favor of a new health care plan for the welfare state in the U.S. that will surely continue to mushroom under the watchful eye of the Pelosi - Reid lead Democratic Congress. Scott Ott takes aim on the presidential candidate's cost neutral plan that sounds awfully like "take from the rich and give to the poor". Nothing like promises of handouts to buy votes from the underprivileged. Hillary, come on, you can surely out do Barack! After all aren't you an old hand at putting together Health Care Reform Plans under your hubby's previous administration? Hillary!! Time to fight back!! You're losing!

(Satire) — Democrat presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama, D-IL, unveiled a universal health care plan yesterday, which would boost taxes on the rich to fund care for the poor and would mandate involuntary organ donations from healthy, wealthy Americans to their ailing, impoverished counterparts.

“Taking money from the wealthy to fund care for the rest of us is no real sacrifice,” said Sen. Obama. “The rich know how to make money and they’ll just go out and get some more. In Obama’s America, if the lower middle class suffers, the upper class should feel their pain. That’s the philosophy behind my health plan, and in fact, it is the ideology upon which this great Democrat party stands.”

Mr. Obama said that during his first term in the White House he would institute a lottery system for transferring the well-maintained lungs, kidneys, livers, spleens and “other giblets,” from well-to-do citizens to the bodies of “the people who need them, and in fact deserve them, the most by virtue of their inadequate income production.”

At the same time, Congress would establish the Obama Universal Care Health Initiative Endowment to fund development of artificial, mechanical organs that the federal government would then sell at a premium to the rich as replacement parts for the natural organs they gave to the poor.

The Illinois senator said his health care proposal is “revenue neutral” because once it’s implemented, “that will be the best gear to describe the pace of U.S. economic growth.” --- [Hat Tip: as reported by satirist Scott Ott/ScrappleFace]

Tags: parody, satire, sarcasm, politics, zz

The Statue of Amnesty and Deportation

As the Congress ponders what to do over the immigration cunundrum, one astute cartoonist makes some minor modifications to the Tablet held by the Statue of Liberty. Perhaps soon to be termed the Statue of Amnesty and Deportation. Pick your poison...


--- [Hat Tip: John Sherffius]

Grave Indifference in Iraq and Washington

The U.S. met with of all people, the Iranians, to discuss withdrawal terms from Iraq?? Does this administration really believe that the Iranians can be trusted with assisting in the democratization of Republic of Iraq?? What planet are they on? There must be something more to this story which will surface before the week is over. A warning to Iran? Perhaps they have worked out a deal? Iran gets Southern Iraq, Basra and the U.S. gets to unplug the centrifuges enriching uranium and go home? Fat chance...

It's bad enough that the Bush Administration actually thinks talking with Iran is going to stop them from killing even more of our troops in Iraq. Worse still, these talks officially end our diplomatic isolation of Iran since 1979 when the Iranians took Americans hostage. But it is flat out obscene that the talks were held on Memorial Day. There are Americans at gravesides today mourning loved ones who were cut down by Iranian-backed militias... --- [Hat Tip: C&F]

Tags: middle east, iran, political cartoons, zz

Memorial Day 2007

Nuff said... ZZ OpenWeb Staff

Memorial Day Reality

--- [Hat Tip: Chris Muir/Day by Day]

Video: Hamas Children Terrorist Death Play

Behold... the modern day Neanderthals...

(Not Satire) This has to be by far one of the most disturbing videos we have seen yet coming out of Gaza. Picture your typical grade school play in your typical school auditorium. You and the other parents from your community attend to see your children (little girls in this case) on stage performing for their parents. Then click on the home video posted to the left from a source in Gaza found on You Tube and prepare to be both astonished and sickened. Watch carefully and you will even see one proud father adjusting the mock suicide belt on his daughter's costume! Knives, weapons and mock blood on their hands while they celebrate the murder of presumably a hostage or other imagined enemy. Most likely Jewish or Christian.

What sort of depraved people take pleasure in brainwashing their children into accepting murder, hatred and suicide bombings as a noble mission in life? With this type of educational system in play in the Middle East, is there any doubt that countless Americans have their heads in the sand about the magnitude of this threat? How deep is the hatred for the Jewish people that these parents take pleasure in fantasizing their children growing up one day to murder and kill themselves in order to become suicide bombing "martyrs"? Look just how dysfunctional these people have become after generations of living in the Israeli - Palestine war zone.

One also has to wonder just how depraved their so called leaders are who condone this message in their schools? From an anthropological perspective I defy anyone to name another culture on this planet, past or present, that equally has such a low regard for the lives of their young regardless of how primitive that culture might be. Find me one which would surpass what we are seeing today in certain parts of the Middle East. Palestine in particular. You have to go back to the Aztecs and Mayans to come even remotely close in their bloody virgin sacrifices to their gods to be on par with this.
- zzb (editor) [--- Hat Tip: lgf ]

Tags: middle east, palestine, politics, world news, zz

Greenpeace: Stupid Whales Source of Cheap Fuel

(Sacramento - Satire) — After three weeks of efforts by scientists to herd two wayward humpback whales out of the Sacramento River, a leading environmental group today announced that “whales are stupid beasts, but an excellent source of cheap, renewable fuel.”

“Most people marvel at the intelligence of these creatures,” said an unnamed spokesman for Greenpeace, “but frankly these morons strayed from the Pacific Ocean — a body of water that’s larger than all of the earth’s land masses combined. Even without the benefit of MapQuest, how do you miss the [expletive deleted] Pacific Ocean?”

The Greenpeace operation officially moved today from “rescue phase” to “harvest phase,” the source said, noting that whales are a “terrific source of oil that is cheap, renewable and can help wean us from dependence on unreliable Middle Eastern petroleum producers.”

Although whales are also renowned for their acute hearing, the Greenpeace spokesman scoffed: “One of these cetacean idiots got injured by a boat propeller. We’re supposed to believe they can hear a mate whispering sweet nothings from off the coast of Australia, but they don’t notice the roar of a diesel engine that’s about to hit them. I’d say their hearing is a bit overrated.”" --- as reported by political satirist Scott Ott/ScrappleFace

Gathering of Eagles Rolling Thunder Amatuer Photos

Great photos of today's events at the Vietnam Vets War Memorial in D.C. Taken by amateur photographers.

As usual, NO coverage from the illustrious Main Stream Media. After all, covering stories of everyday Americans supporting our troops is not politically correct and certainly not aligned with the anti-war message board rooms of the major networks want to project.

Perhaps it might have been more newsworthy for the MSM if Paris Hilton showed up with her skirt hiked up high over her head or if that fat slob of a carpet muncher, Rosie O'Donnell, made an entrance condemning what she terms our "terrorist troops" while former Vets are huddled together sharing memories of their lost brethren on this Memorial Day weekend. Were sure that would have been more of a photo op for CNN, ABC, NBC and CBS.

Every Memorial Day weekend on Sunday, Rolling Thunder, an organization of mostly Viet Nam veterans, comes into DC for their annual motorcycle ride from the Pentagon to the Vietnam Memorial. It’s an hours-long parade of thousands of participants from across the country to insure that America doesn’t forget the men and women who died for this country in that unpopular war.


This year it’s a little different - today they partnered with the newly-formed Gathering of Eagles, which has it’s roots in the internet. When Vietnam veterans felt that the Wall was threatened by anti-protesters back in March of this year, they hastily assembled an internet gathering point and made plans to protect that monument from being defaced. On March 17th, they gathered around the three Vietnam memorials and the Korean War Memorial and lined the protest to the Pentagon. Crowd estimates were about 20,000 pro-troops participants to about 4,000 anti-war protesters.

Traditionally, Rolling Thunder gathers to remember the Vietnam veterans, but this year, the day before their customary ride, they partnered with Gathering of Eagles to show their support for the next generation of warriors.
--- Hat Tip: This Ain't Hell

This is a small sampling of bikes some of which have awesome commemorative artwork of their rider's experiences in Vietnam.

The bikers have arrived from thousands of miles from all over the U.S. to participate in the traditional display of remembrance for those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure the preservation of our constitutional freedoms that we love to both enjoy and exploit.




More...

Tags: us news, media, zz

How To Add Flash Games To Your Blog Today

Add arcade style flash games to your website or blog and encourage visitors to stick around your site! You can now download entire collections of arcade style flash games over at OpenWeb Digital Downloads. The game packs have been tested, categorized, packaged and made available for immediate digital download at several locations. You can find them over at OpenWeb Downloads and also over at PayLoadZ along with other software. Over 300+ flash games are available in several zipped downloads.

The Shooting Arcade game to the left is one typical example. You can demo them all of 300 over at the arcade site. Just register at the OpenWeb Downloads Arcade and check them out and also have some fun at the same time! We have loaded three of these games in our right margin which you can play and check out for yourself. Pretty slick!

Each of the basic download packs for blogs contains 90+ flash games (in .swf format) including its respective thumbnail (.gif) along with an instruction guide (.pdf) explaining how to configure them so your visitors can play them right on your site just as in the Shooting Arcade example above. [Basic Game Inventory Listing (.pdf)] Special Packs are also available for vBulletin Arcades and Nuke Arcades which now include install scripts for formal arcades. These games will also run on your website, blog or off line on your PC or laptop.

If you have access to a server what you do is simply upload all the files in the pack and then link to them in a post, in a special area in your margin, (see our right margin as an example) or anywhere else on your site that you choose. If your server host (ISP) doesn't allow file uploading FileCrunch provides a free file hosting option which anyone can use. Very sweet! Flash games right in your blog! Increase your visitors and get them to stick around!

Tags: entertainment, flash, flash games, games, site traffic, marketing, zz

8 Tips to Shiites from Cleric Moktada al-Sadr

(SATIRE) — After several months in hiding, reportedly in Iran, radical Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr emerged south of Baghdad yesterday to tell his Mahdi Army to avoid shooting at Iraqi forces because the U.S. uses that as a justification to continue its illegal occupation of Iraq.

In a fiery speech to the faithful, Mr. al-Sadr said he is committed to “removing every last excuse that the Bush administration has for keeping infidel troops on Allah’s blessed soil. We will humiliate George Bush, forcing him to retreat because his troops have become utterly useless.”

In addition to a ceasefire against Iraqi troops, the Islamic cleric’s fatwa seeks to demoralize American forces by demanding that Shiites …

1. – Avoid shooting anyone for any reason

2. – Register to vote and respect the Iraqi constitution and governing authorities

3. – Locate and disable all previously-deployed roadside bombs

4. – Re-shelve all explosive vests and large caliber automatic weapons in their original locations at local mosques

5. – Release any living hostages into the custody of the United Nations

6. – Patrol communities to pick up garbage, repair buildings and roads, and restore utility services

7. – Stop ranting like maniacs and go back to work

8. – Take a moment today to thank a U.S. soldier, Marine or airman for your freedom

“We will brutally cut off Bush’s rationale for staying in Iraq,” said Mr. al-Sadr. “Our day of triumph is at hand. The Great Satan will march back home in tickertape parades of shame. Allah be praised.”
--- Hat Tip Courtesy: Scott Ott/ScrappleFace

Clinton Obama: 10 Ways to Fight and Un Funded War

With the votes in, Senators are now scrambling to justify their voting decisions to their constituents. Of course, for many, just who their real constituents are still remains a mystery. Scott Ott gives us an example of some of the "tips" that are now flowing out of Washington to help guide our troops should there actually have been a NO vote yesterday to funding their needed supplies. The ten recommendations from Senators Clinton and Obama are among the most creative...

(SATIRE) — Following their votes yesterday against funding U.S. troops fighting terrorists in Afghanistan and Iraq, Senators Hillary Clinton, D-NY, and Barack Obama, D-IL, today sought to demonstrate that they truly support the troops by releasing a list of “tips for fighting unfunded wars.”

The senate passed the measure, with the two leading Democrat presidential candidates in the 80-14 minority. However, according to their joint statement, if the vote had gone the other way the troops would have been “just fine and able to make do with what they have.”

“Our votes against funding the troops should never be construed as a lack of support for these brave Americans,” said the two senators. “In fact, with a little scrimping and improvisation, our troops could still have fought on until withdrawal even without the $100 billion.”

Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton said if their view had prevailed, they would have asked the Pentagon to distribute to the troops the following ten “helpful hints” for fighting an unfunded war.

1. Conserve bullets by aiming more, shooting less. The enemy is often so intimidated by being “in the crosshairs” that you don’t need to waste ammo. A lot of times, he’ll just run away, and you’ll have a full magazine, ready for future aiming.

2. When traveling on business, instead of gas-guzzling HumVees and other inefficient troop transports, try the economical Toyota Prius, public transit, an inexpensive used bicycle, or simply walking. Improved cardio health could accompany tremendous savings on fuel.

3. Donate every third paycheck to the U.S. government to help fund the war effort. After administrative costs are deducted here in Washington, a portion of that money will come right back to your unit in the field. Don’t worry about the family back home, the government safety net will protect them.

4. Incarcerating war prisoners is expensive, so practice “catch and release” with terror suspects. A stern warning from an authority figure can go a long way toward setting a young man on the right path.

5. To save water, shower less often. Our sources tell us a brisk “dry cleaning” can keep you fresh as a cactus flower. A handful of sand makes a great “scrubby” to remove the grime of battle.

6. Reduce wear and tear on weapons through the buddy system. On patrol, take turns being “the guy with the gun.” You’ll keep the enemy guessing, and extend the life of the weapons you leave back at the base.

7. Aerial support can be pricey, and it risks civilian casualties. So resist the urge to call in the jets when you come under withering enemy fire. Wait until you see “the whites of their eyes.” Our sources tell us that when U.S. troops do this, support calls drop by 50 percent.

8. American troops are a generous people, but every penny you spend handing out candy or toys to the local kids, is a penny you won’t have to buy your own bullets or body armor.

9. Put your spare change in a jar each day and at the end of the month, send that money to Washington to help fund the war.

10. Plant a “victory garden” near the base. The extra vegetables you donate to the mess hall might sustain you and your buddies until we can get you out of that quagmire.
--- as reported by satirist Scott Ott/ScrappleFace

Tags: politics, satire, sarcasm, zz

Democrats Torn on Funding War Bill Without Timetable

--- Hat Tip: C&F for the above
Democrats in Congress failed to make a tough decision on the war funding bill funding the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with out a pull out time table. They voted to pass the War Funding bill without a timetable for pulling out of Iraq.
The dilemma?
Those that voted "YES" today will now be facing the wrath of all the anti-war forces in their political base on the far left.

Those that voted "NO," have now exposed themselves to the charge that they don't support the troops and are were willing to cut off funding to support them in the field.

Certainly a no win situation. So Democratic leaders in the House and Senate decided was to remove timetables from the bill, much to the dismay of the anti-war camp and to the delight were sure of the President and the GOP. President Bush has promised to veto any bill that includes a withdrawal timetable, thus forcing the Democrats hand and moving them into a no-win situation politically. Some items from CNN:

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said members would not be forced into voting for the bill.

"I'm not likely to vote for something that doesn't have a timetable or a goal of coming home," Pelosi said.

And also this:

Anti-war groups are furious at the decision of Democratic leaders to remove the timetables. MoveOn.org released a statement saying it would consider recruiting primary challengers to lawmakers who support the bill, as well as advertising against them in their districts or states... - CNN

"Voters elected Democrats in November to lead the way out of the mess in Iraq," said Eli Pariser, executive director of MoveOn.org Political Action, who decried the bill as "just a blank check for an endless war."

The pressure the funding measure is putting on Democratic senators running for president was clearly evident Wednesday. --- from CNN

Seems like the Democrat Leadership is having real trouble keeping their promises to the far left on one hand and looking like centrists to the rest of the country on the other. Maybe we'll see the return of Al Gore or even Ralph Nader just in time to muck up the 2008 Democratic Convention for both Hillary and Obama. It would certainly satisfy the needs the radical left and the Rosie O'Donnells of the world. We're sure Obama will position himself so far left after this week's vote that Hillary will seem like a Limbaugh Ditto Head to most Democrats before the primary. The GOP is lighting candles praying for such an outcome!!

Elizabeth Finally Blasts Rosie On the View

It may have been hormones from her pregnancy or maybe she was just plain sick and tired of taking crap from the fat, overweight lesbian bitch we are not sure, but Elizabeth Hasselbeck finally gave it to Rosie O'Donnell with both barrels today on The View. It's a safe bet that one or the other won't be on the air for much longer. The show's producers must have been in a trance as they let the screaming rant go on for several minutes before going to commercial.

Elisabeth Blasts Rosie: I'm No Donald Trump! - TMZ.com: "The bitchfight between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck officially went nuclear -- and we mean nuclear -- on this morning's 'The View,' and it's a miracle, frankly, that fists didn't fly.

As usual, Rosie and Elisabeth started in on one another on the topic of Iraq, but it quickly got personal when Rosie, clearly still miffed that Elisabeth hadn't defended her over the whole soldiers-as-terrorists fracas, demanded to know whether Hasselbeck really thought Rosie felt that U.S. soldiers were terrorists, 'as my friend, since September.' When Elisabeth didn't give her a yes-or-no answer, the verbal fisticuffs began in earnest. In fact, producers saw fit to go split-screen, just to amp up the volume.

Name-calling ensued, with Rosie calling Elisabeth 'cowardly,' and Elisabeth spitting back at Ro that she's not 'poor little Elisabeth,' even smacking down guest co-host Sherri Shepherd's suggestion that she chill for the sake of her unborn child, saying, 'The baby's FINE.'

Joy Behar -- not at all wisecracking and with exasperation -- asked, 'Who's directing this show?! We need a commercial break! What is this, PBS?'" -- Hat tip: TMZ

Iranian Fashion Plate

The penalty for not wearing the proper islamic dress in public these days in Tehran is arrest and beatings under the compassionate Islamic law of the progressive Iranian Republic. Note that this is the same regime that is seeking weapons grade enriched uranium for "peaceful purposes" and has called for the elimination of zionist Israel from the face of the planet. Today in fact Tehran is even boldly announcing that it is supporting al-Qaeda in its efforts to rid Iraq of the U.S. hinting that it would consider increasing direct support to suicide bombers and insurgent murdering of Sunnis to destabilize Iraq even further. (All this to the dismay of other so called "moderate Arab nations" in the region that act as though they were a group of collective impotent eunuchs in capable of fighting back against the veiled Iranian threats.)

Soon all the West will be wearing the new spring fashions as the new world order as envisioned by the Islamic Republic of Iran mounts even bolder efforts to overcome the evil satanic permissive culture from the west. An open sexual and permissive culture which remains so near and dear to the hearts of the political left and liberal western media in American and Europe alike. Irony has never been so dramatic and underscored. Imagine Paris Hilton in a burqa.

Police and Improperly Clad Women Clash In Tehran

Male and female police officers clashed with women who were not dressed according to the Islamic dress code.

The clashes, which took place at Haft Tir Square in Tehran, came during the current Iranian security forces campaign to enforce the dress code.

One girl who refused to get into the police car was beaten by police, and removed from the area by civilians who were called to the scene.

HAT TIP: Gateway Pundit has more: Iranian Official: Unveiled Women Are Animals.

Where is the outrage from the Women's Movement in the U.S. and the E.U. ???

Tags: sarcasm, politics, iran, political cartoons, zz

Free Paris Hilton

It's rumored poor baby Paris Hilton is working on doing a deal for a reality TV show from behind bars. We suspect producers are busy fitting her jail cell now for the video cam. Watching her getting slammed in the slammer in real time might actually break all previous Neilson ratings. Who knows there might even be a Networked Cable 24x7 Webcam coverage of her doing time on HDTV Satellite CHANNEL699. Who has a good title for the first season??

Lebanese Army Pounds Militant Palestinian Fatah al-Islam

The fighting has begun again in earnest this week as the Lebanese military have cornered an al-Qaeda supported militant group in the back streets of Tripoli. The real victims here are the innocent families that are virtually "taken hostage" in an effort to shield the militant group. The bloodshed continues and is expected to continue into the week. Once again we are witnessing civil warfare and once again we are wondering what the neighboring countries are doing about it. We have not heard much from the U.N. Security Council. But then again they are about as useful as an party of geriatric eunuchs in an all night orgy.

(Tripoli) -- Lebanon's soldiers clashed for a second day with Islamist militants in the northern city of Tripoli as Lebanese officials accused neighboring Syria of sparking the bloodshed that may have killed 70 people.

Gunfights yesterday killed about 40 people, including 27 soldiers, the state-owned National News Agency said. As well as the soldiers and militants, another 30 people may have died yesterday and today inside the Nahr el-Bared camp, which houses about 30,000 Palestinian refugees and is at the center of the fighting, the agency reported.

In Beirut, six people were wounded by a bomb that rocked the Verdun district in the mainly Muslim western sector of the city, Agence France-Presse reported. The bomb was placed under a car outside a Russian cultural center, AFP said, citing police.

Television footage from Tripoli on Arab and international channels showed smoke rising above that predominantly Sunni Muslim city, as the army aimed shells at militants from the Palestinian group Fatah al-Islam. A two-hour cease-fire was brokered today by the International Committee of the Red Cross to evacuate the wounded and remove bodies, the state news agency said.

Syrian Involvement Suspected

While all major political parties in Lebanon, including those allied with Syria, said they supported the Lebanese army and condemned Fatah al-Islam, the violence may be an attempt by Syria to keep pressure on the Lebanese government, analysts and Lebanese government members said.

``This is another attempt to blackmail Lebanon,'' Marwan Hamadeh, Lebanese minister of telecommunications, said in a telephone interview today, accusing Syria of instigating and supporting the group. ``Lebanon will not submit to this kind of pressure.''

Syria's ambassador to the United Nations said his government had nothing to do with the violence and that Fatah al-Islam's leaders are members of al-Qaeda who had been jailed in Syria for terrorist activities. More...

Tags: palestine, middle east, world news, al-qaeda, zz

Tony Flew Out of the Cuckoo Nest

Streaming Digg with Snapshots API

Snap.com recently sent an email to all their users about a programmer who apparently contacted snap who wanted to use Snap Shots in a Digg.com custom application. This developer from YourMinis has found a way to successfully use Snap, which we selectively use here at ZZ N&S, to display the visual front pages of popular and upcoming posts at Digg in real time!

The blog post at Snap Shots has registered over 1100 Diggs and has made Snap.Com one of the top stories of that day. The application called Digg Expose, is now showing about 100 Snap Shots every second streaming right from Digg! The application did put some extra stress on the snap.com servers but that appears to have been corrected over at Snap.

Lastly, if you like the information provided here on the Digg Expose application please post about it on your site, link to this post if you like and tell your friends to get the word out.

Every additional Digg and every additional post about this story helps promote new tools for bloggers and web site developers!

Here it is in action... select functions from the controls at the top of the display.
[We decided to remove the demo. Go to the previous link instead. Thanks.]

If you found this review and introduction to this new technology useful, please feel free to increase awareness and Digg below.

Tags: software, technology, zz

Paris In Prison

New AFC Thumbnail Gallery V 3.1 for Bloggers

Create dynamic and scalable image slide shows with IMG Thumbnail Gallery Flash component. This is a very nice low cost flash gallery package we give it a recommend rating. -- OpenWeb Staff

Advanced Flash Components (AFC ) has been dedicated to developing the slickest Flash Components which combine enhanced functionality, maximum customization, and superior design. Their goal is to simplify Flash development for webmasters by providing “tools” for web application enhancements. Constant innovation and improvement is one of their core goals. With the help from the Flash community and valuable feedback from our users, they have been able to continually improve their components’ style and usability. Currently AFC is one of the fastest growing Flash Component developers on the web today and we highly recommend them. If you are looking to add some slick flash graphics to your site, check this package out!

From their site:

IMG Thumbnail Gallery Flash component is a fully customizable and scalable tool for displaying dynamic slide shows. Component supports XML, RSS 2.0 as well as direct data input. All of the component properties can be modified to seamlessly integrate with your project.

- Macromedia V2 Component Architecture
- Custom Buttons (new in 3.1)
- Advanced Image Scaling
- Extended Font Support
- Fully Scalable
- Adjustable Skin Color
- XML Support
- RSS 2.0 Support ( Flickr feeds )
- Custom transition settings
- Preloader
- Slideshow mode
- Custom thumbnail size
- Flash 8
- Free Updates

VISIT THEIR DOWNLOAD SITE HERE TO SEE IT AND GET MORE DETAILS -- Very Slick!

Tags: blogware, software, flashware, web design, zz

The Axis of Uh Oh

Liberal cartoonist, Mark Fiore, takes a shot at the recent dicussions between Washington and Iran on the current situation in Iraq. No doubt the Iranian President has extended his personal gratitude to George Bush for doing what Iran failed to do after 2 years of a war with Iraq. And exactly what might it be that we have done for Iran you are asking? Invade Iraq and secure the Shiite predominated southern territories and virtually open the door to hand them over on a silver platter to Iran after the U.S. pulls out. This will happen as sure as the sun rises in the east every morning.

If indeed this scenario unfolds, the problems in the Middle East are just beginning and you ain't seen nothin' yet. It will spark a civil war that may find itself spreading over all the other nations in the region as a result of Iran's "manifest destiny".

The animation highlights a quagmire that makes Vietnam historically pale in comparison.

The Queen and Hillary

--- Hat Tip: Cagle

Tags: political cartoons, parody, sarcasm, satire, zz

Ode to a Frustrated Housewife

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled:
"YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE"

He stormed in to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry, and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

The wife replied: "The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess."

--- Hat Tip: megitt33

Bush Domino Theory

Tags: political cartoons, parody, satire, bush, zz

Moderate Republicans Urge Bush to Surrender

(SATIRE) — A group of moderate Republican House members, led by Rep. Charlie Dent, R-PA, met privately with President George Bush in the White House yesterday to urge him to “press on to victory, no matter the cost.”

According to Rep. Dent, the lawmakers encouraged the president to “put aside concerns about his own plunging personal popularity and do the right thing by getting out of Iraq so that we can get re-elected in our home districts.”

The 11 progressive Republicans, in a remarkably blunt conversation, told the president that “some things are worth fighting for, and that history will judge whether Mr. Bush stood up for the innocent and defenseless whose very Congressional seats hang in the balance.”

“It takes courage to walk away from a quagmire in order to protect the letter ‘R’ that appears next each of our names,” said Rep. Dent. “But great men must set aside their personal desires to serve the greater good.”

--- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Bush Asks For a Quickie

(WASHINGTON - Satire) Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast together in the White House dining room. An attractive house waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit."

"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?"

George W. replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?"

"Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims, "How rude! You're starting to act like President Clinton, and you've only been in your second term of office for little over a year!"

As the waitress storms away, Cheney with a sheepish grin, leans over to Bush and whispers "It's pronounced 'quiche'
--- Hat Tip: megitt33

Tags: politics, sarcasm, satire, humor, zz

Florida Battles Iowa and New Hampshire

(SATIRE)- Florida Governor Charlie Crist announced today that the Florida primary for the 2008 Presidential election has been moved to June 1st. Presidential campaigns across the political spectrum have dropped everything and rushed to Florida to battle for the first electoral prize of the season. This move is bound to cause electoral chaos as other states including Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina vie for power in the 2008 primary schedule.

"Floridians are sick and tired of not having a chance to pick the candidates the country is voting on." says Governor Crist. "Iowa? New Hampshire? Give me a break. Florida is a REAL state and deserves it's rightful place at the front of the line. We decided the last two elections and now we want to decide the next one too."

At press time we have had no word from Iowa or New Hampshire on what they intend to do to defend their 'first in the nation' status, but in the past they threatened to move ahead of any state that moves their primary ahead in the schedule.

It is possible that they will move there primaries into the last week of May.

The campaigns of all the major candidates are already heading to Florida to battle for every vote possible in the next few weeks. -- Unconfirmed Sources

Hillary Dismisses French Election Parallels

(Satire - Washington DC) — White House hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-NY, today announced that the results of the French presidential elections were an “isolated incident,” with no discernible parallels to the 2008 U.S. presidential race.

French conservative Nicolas Sarkozy, an avowed admirer of America, decisively defeated socialist Segolene Royal by promising to cut taxes and government spending, shrink government subsidies, reduce the power of labor unions, tighten immigration policy, crack down on lawbreakers and “give greater value to work, to authority, to respect, to merit.”

His defeated leftist opponent, Ms. Royal, had promised tax-funded government solutions to the “malaise” of France, and would have been the nation’s first female president.

Sen. Clinton, asked by reporters if the French outcome bodes well or ill for her presidential prospects, said, “I fail to see the connection or any kind of trend. It’s an isolated incident. Most Americans can’t even speak French. End of story.”" -- as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Simulation of Failed Shoe Bomb Destruction a Fake

Posted by ZZN&S Earlier

The video that was circulating on the web today has been determined to be a fake thanks to the research done over at Little Green Footballs. Turns out the video was old tape and had nothing to do with Richard Reids shoe bombing attempt although it was quite convincing...


However some sources indicate that the video may not have originated based on information obtained from the design of Richard Reid's (aka Abdul Raheem aka Abu Ibrahim) shoe bomb. Bloggers at Little Green Footballs are investigating the authenticity...

Hat tip: LGF

Silencing Moderate Muslims in America

DOCUMENTARY CENSORED BY PBS!!



It's an outrage that PBS, a tax subsidized network, has declined to air a documentary by Martyn Burke and Frank Gaffney that helps to tell the story of moderate mainstream Muslims opposed to Jihadist ideology living in the U.S. Western Europe and Canada. The same network has not issue airing documentaries by Bill Moyers that tear down any progress that is being made in Iraq. Fair and balanced? We think not. The following clip from Islam vs. Islamists: Voices From the Muslim Center is the trailer for a documentary that PBS has declined to air, for what reasons? Perhaps it does not conform to their political bias? This is media censorship at it's finest!!!



DOWNLOAD TRAILER FROM CENSORED FILM

Moving between America and Europe, the documentary tells the story of several outspoken moderate Muslims who have waged an often lonely struggle against individuals and organizations that try to advance the Islamist social-political agenda. For their efforts, moderates like the Syrian-born Danish parliamentarian Naser Kader and Arizona physician and activist Zuhdi Jasser have received hateful criticism and even threats of violence. The film also introduces us to the Islamists, ranging from prominent imams to editors of Muslim newspapers to street toughs in groups like Hizb ut-Tahrir. We learn about the Islamists' efforts to fan controversies or to create "parallel societies" in which Islamic law replaces secular civic law. We even hear these champions of enforced puritanism denounce the moderates as extremists.

For the moment, though, only a small circle of viewers, including some members of Congress who attended a screening last week, will have a chance to judge whether the treatment is fair. While the film's producers contend that their documentary has effectively been spiked, WETA spokesperson Mary Stewart says that it will still be considered if the filmmakers make changes that "are not very drastic."

Martyn Burke is a novelist and screenwriter who has directed many fictional and documentary films. He has traveled extensively from the Arctic Circle to the Amazon and has found himself in the middle of wars, revolutions and movies.

His credits as a documentary filmmaker include CONNECTIONS the blockbuster expose on the North American and Italian mafia; and WITNESSES the powerful award winning, behind-the-lines film on the last days of the Soviet war in Afghanistan.

Frank Gaffney is the Founder and President of the Center for Security Policy in Washington, D.C. The Center is a not-for-profit, non-partisan educational corporation established in 1988. Under Mr. Gaffney's leadership, the Center has been nationally and internationally recognized as a resource for timely, informed and penetrating analyses of foreign and defense policy matters.

Mr. Gaffney is the lead-author of War Footing: Ten Steps America Must Take to Prevail in the War for the Free World (Naval Institute Press, 2005).


We would like to see the entire documentary aired. Enough with the censoring within PBS and the bias in MSM reporting... Voice your protests to the editors at PBS Let PBS know you want to hear the Voices of Moderate Muslims!!! Let's give moderate Muslims some equal time against the jihadists and islamo-facists. It's time that the U.S. media, and PBS in particular, allows moderate Muslims to be heard in defense of their own religion and Frank Gaffney's documentary be aired on PBS in its entirety. -- zz [ Hat Tip: Michelle Milkin ]

Tags: culture, us news, media, zz